I paid for everything and he’s decided he doesn’t want kids. I pay ALL the bills, clean the house, work 9 1/2 hours a day, do the grocery shopping and cooking. I drive an hour to work and he drives 20 minutes. I do it all, he is spoiled. We aren’t divorced yet, but I know this way of life is BS!! He won’t give me passwords to his checking account or the combination to our safe that has both our documents in it. He can never give me a straight answer about the money he has or makes. I don’t see how he could love me.
All I ever wanted out of life was a house and a family (with kids of my own). He recently admitted he doesn’t want kids. I’m not sure he would be into the father thing anyway if we have them because he barely tries to have a relationship with the ones he has (he is divorced with two children). I have to push him to spend time with them and go to their softball games and remind him to ask about important events. He doesn’t think of this on his own. Is it him or just being a man?
And the fact that he is ten years older than me makes me more frustrated because it feels like I am living with a whiney 14 year-old who I have to coax to be responsible. Not a grown man who can take care of himself and be a leader.
His priorities are so F***d up. I’m giving up on the fact he will see the light. I don’t think I’m been asking too much. It wasn’t always like this with him. After we got married (4 years ago) he seriously changed, stopped trying and doing all the things he that made me love him. I feel like I’ve been blind-sided and I was dating/engaged to him for 8 years before that.
I’m just trying to figure out what the next step is. This relationship doesn’t seem worth sacrificing being a mother for. He knows that’s important to me. He won’t even consider adoption or artificial insemination (complications from his vasectomy). He says kids will just make everything worse and they are the reasons people get divorced.
We can’t even talk and worse, we can’t even fight. He shuts down as soon as there’s a conflict. So I have to just get over it, but things only get worse.
I’m at a loss on how to leave. I think that’s where I’m at right now.