He is the man

by Ruth S.
(Union City, CA)

In his mind, he is the man and therefore is always right. He treats me like a child and thinks he owns me. Here is just a little example of how he treats me:

1. He makes me drink all kinds of liquids and take different pills because he thinks it will make my bust grow and make me healthier.
2. He is manipulative. And if things don't happen the way he wants it to when it comes to intimacy, he makes me feel guilty for not submitting myself.

3. He is a very loud person, so loud that he literally wants people around to notice and hear what he has got to say. He loves being the center of attention, even if he has to lie about what’s really going on.

4. He has no respect for me. He loves to bad mouth me behind my back, especially if we just got into a heated argument.
5. I've always been blamed for my children's attitude towards him. He is always blaming others for his own mistakes.

6. He had disrespected my entire family and pointing fingers at them that they are the reason why I have shut away from him.

7. He thinks that everyone around him is stupid. He always thinks he knows everything.
8. When he speaks, he likes to talk closely to my face and making sure that he is heard even if his voice is loud enough to be heard even if you’re like 25 yards away from him.

9. He does not want to see me being happy and laughing with other people. He thinks that it's him we are laughing about, when it's not even the truth.

10. I know he does not trust me one bit. He is paranoid that whenever he does not see me around, he needs to walk around the house to see what I am doing and whom I'm interacting with. And if he does not approve of what he sees, he would sharply stare at me with disappointment and show his dismay over what I'm doing.
11. He is self-centered, a liar, and exaggerates everything to make him seem like the good guy.

Comments for He is the man

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by: Confused and Alone

I’m currently married to my husband of 6 years and need advice. I recently had a baby and thought that he would change. To start off, my husband is a macho Hispanic man and it is his way or no way. When I met him he did not have his visa and so I petitioned for him to obtain his visa. After almost 1 year after being deported in Mexico, he returned and changed even more so for the worse. He is controlling, a liar, verbally abusive and only minor physical abuses like pushing and rough grabbing have taken place.

I have never cheated on him because I am not like that. But he, on the other hand, was accused of having a relationship with his sister back in Mexico to the point that he parents kicked him out of the house. I love him and he indicated to me it never happened, so I took him back. Once he returned to the United States he treats me like I am dirt, even though he does not have an education and he is just a landscaper. He says that I am nothing and that he has more than I do. He calls me stupid, fat and makes fun of me in front of friends.

He has also used some of our savings to help his parent financially. He also has used $15,000 of our savings to bring his younger sister from Mexico (she is the sister that he was accused of having a relationship with). That sister now also treats me like garbage and is constantly calling my husband every day, sometimes up to three times a day. When my husband is busy and does not pick up the phone, she gets mad and calls until he does. My husband puts her first and he denies it.

My husband also does not allow my family, especially my mother, to come and visit me at my own home. He has tried to leave many times, but I always seem to take him back. He says that I am the crazy one, but I am not. He says he will never give me a divorce. My family says to divorce him, but he has told me that he will kill me if I cheat or leave him.

Described mine to a T
by: Carmen

I have been married for 4 long years and have 3 children under three years old. Things moved very fast in our relationship. We ran off and got married and then found out I was pregnant. Then 2 months later he was arrested for a domestic violence. From there it spiraled downward. When my daughter was 9 months old him, my in laws filed a false domestic on me. He admitted what happened later in marriage counseling and he begged me back.

I got pregnant again and after my last child was born, my in laws always call cps on me every couple of months. They lie that I don't feed my children, don't take them to doctor appointments, etc. This is all because of the lies he told them. His sister recently attacked me when our child was injured in a 4 wheeler accident and needed medical attention. She stole my keys, was trying to take my child (who was injured), and said I was too stupid to get my child help.

These people have always put me down as a person and a mother. My husband won’t allow me access to money. If I say I don't want to be intimate, he insinuates I'll pay for turning him down. He is always trying to convince me I am a horrible person and lazy. He doesn't even get up with the kids, change diapers, etc. I am thinking about finally getting out. I just feel stuck and have nowhere to go :(

Just like mine!
by: Alicia

I wanted a nose stud. He said if I did get one I’d better move out. I don’t think he has the right to control me or my body and he doesn’t have to like it. But he has also controlled my hair cut, hair color, clothing etc. for 5 years. I’m on new meds and he thinks I was brainwashed. So what else could I do? I left. It was considered irreconcilable differences.

Long haul
by: K.

I wish you the best. Keep your chin up, keep your heart strong and know that you made the right decision, no matter how hard it may seem. Never go back... ever.

This will be the longest battle of your life. He will control the divorce, try to control you still. He will make you feel guilty, put you right back into the 'victims mentality'. Know that you are free and have the choice to never, ever go back.

Good luck to you.

Narcissist Poster Child
by: Willene

He fits the profile of Narcissist Personality Disorder to a T... For the most part, there is NO CURE... Run not walk away from such vile contemptible human beings as fast as possible!!

He's the Man
by: Ruth S.

Hello, well actually that's why I've put that title is because he thinks so highly of himself that he is just indispensable. He actually believes "he's the man". I have walked out of it last Tuesday, and it was mixed emotions of disappointment but also great feelings of freedom. He is bitter, to the point that he called me so many names. I know it would take some time for him to realize that it's really over and done with between us.

I know it's going to be tough going through recovery since I believe I acquired some sort of PTSD from the ordeal. I just hope God would never leave my side and give me enough strength to walk high and proud once again. Thank you for your time.

He is the man
by: Gay

Oh, my dear, this sounds so familiar. You posted this as "HE Is the Man." However, I must say that he is not a man. He is a bully. He is a coward. He uses you and manipulates you only because it makes him feel like a man. He cannot control his world...so he controls you, instead.

I cannot tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. However, I can tell you that I walked away from 30 years of such a "marriage," and I hope you don't wait so long to find happiness, which you certainly deserve.

It isn't easy. I certainly know that! I wish you wisdom, strength, and courage to make the right decision.

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