Married me for a green card

by D

I met the man who became my husband in another country and eventually brought him back to the United States. He had a temporary green card and interviewed for a permanent green card on 10/7. Just two weeks later he left me. He complained that I messed up his credit by putting his name on my credit cards so he could get his permanent green card.

He refuses to help me in any financial situations and spent my tax return behind my back. He said if I did not file for him, I would not be getting a return. I went ahead and filed last year’s income tax return for him and a grandson who is not living in this country.

He will not let me know where he is living. He still comes by and asks me to lend him money, but he never repays me. He even pawned my jewelry that I gave to him.

Comments for Married me for a green card

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Green Card / Citizenship
by: Iso

Unfortunately, there are many scammers out there in the world, especially those who want to come to America the land of opportunity at any cost. Yes true, everyone should get educated and do their research, but that is not going to keep you from falling in love when these people are great con artists.

My short story is the same way as almost everyone here. But I never saw the red flags until I had brought him here. In the course of over 3 years after we met, there initially was nothing to it. Eventually with time, it became stronger a kind of a simple friendship relationship. I traveled to his country to meet his family, which of course was great. I feel in love with his simplicity, hard work, and ethics which I thought was him.

But long story short, I brought him here and helped him get a CDL license. He went to work and shortly after I found out he was on dating sites, soliciting women online and paying for sex. So many times when I would confront him he would beg me back and I thought I will stay and fight for this marriage.

But the ultimate prize for him was the citizenship. Shortly after (about a month) he got it and one month later he left me. I got home from work to find his clothes, cars, everything all gone along with a note I left.

Yes, we all should be more alert but there are great scammers out there, not just for this situation but for others as well. I don’t understand how there are people in this world who would use people in this and other forms to get what they want without remorse. All I want is to have an investigation on him for pulling this Plan of his off. None of us are stupid women or men who want to look good or such things. Some of us just want a true simple relationship with an honest person. There is more to this story, a lot of mental abuse etc. I just want some legal advice as to what to do legally because people should not get away with these types of shames. Yes, we to are to blame for trusting and loving.


Scammer getting scammed!
by: Cassandra

I am sorry that you all experienced this betrayal. I fortunately saw the scammer for who he is when he asked me to marry him, though he didn’t have a pot to piss in. I would gain nothing so I thought to myself, this person does not honestly love me as he proclaims. I didn't let on that I knew he was working illegally. So I told him "before we marry I need all my debt to be cleared. And you have to help because that is what marriage is, a financial partnership as well as love, so I want to see that you are capable".

Now I am taking every bit of his money paying off my debt, then I will dump his scheming butt!!! He is going to pay me back for everything I did for him out of the love I had for him and then some! Doing it for all of you! Listen to your intuition, it's never wrong.

They are not worth the risk of betrayal because 99% of the time they will betray you, so just don't marry them. If they truly love you, they will find a way to be with you without you having to do anything for them. I stopped loving him and he gets nothing from me, I am only cordial because I want the money. So glad that I stopped ignoring the obvious. But you all are right, they are so good at seducing us with their 'love'. I mean no one has ever 'loved' me more. I went to his country and was received like family by his family, treated so well. They are so involved and caring, are they part of the fraud? Unbelievable!! I'm not hurt because this is his wrong doing.

Marriage? - No Sir, that won't be happening. Lying, scheming, piece of poop. I mean 6 years of dedicated love, like damn!!! They're good and can wait you out!!! Stay up and know that they will get what they deserve.

Turn the tables
by: Hana

No matter how long you've known these fraudsters and scammers, they WILL deceive you for what they want.

Stay married until the fakes get their citizenship or 40 Social Security credits, then file for spousal support. You'll also be eligible for pension benefits, social security under his account, his 4O1k and most of the marital assets, since you're in a moderate term marriage or even a long term marriage.

Don't remarry, if you get divorced. You'll be eligible for widow's benefits under social security when the fraudster dies.

Also, file a marriage fraud complaint with USCIS, ICE and HSI. Let them denaturalize him. He can keep his Social Security card and work permit. No green card or citizenship. That'll teach him, or her. Man-Myoho-Renge-Kyo for Peace.

Threatened to stay in a toxic situation
by: Selma

You guys, I’m honestly going suicidal at this point and I feel another break down coming. This man has lied to me and is threatening me to fight for his citizenship. He has told me that he doesn’t care about our marriage or what I do. He says if I don’t go to the interview, then he will blackmail me, sue me, and make my life a living hell. I’m just afraid!

My wife only married me because she needed a Green Card
by: Tony L

My wife married me to get her Green card. She is an international student and has an F1 Visa to live in America. It has already been a year and 5 months since we were married and she has not yet obtained her Green Card. When she waiting for the I-130 form to be approved, she showed me her real face. She began to create problems in our relationship so that I could be trapped according to her plan. She even told the lawyer who followed up on these documents not to tell me anything, just by what the lawyer told him that the first form had been approved. Now she's looking for other people to create problems for me.

She no longer sleeps with me. She doesn't like me to touch her or she'll scream at me. We have argued and I was arrested by the police, then charged by the judge for a home violation, and the judge told me I must not make illegal acts towards her and I would be observed for 3 months. I listen to her say on the phone that she is only being patient for this document. I no longer love her because I had discovered that she used me. Please I need your help. I live in Kentucky.

Pakistani Scammers
by: Helen

I was scammed by my former friend into marrying a guy from Pakistan. He charmed and manipulated me to believe all his lies. NEVER get into a committed relationship when you are lonely and vulnerable. My advise is ALWAYS have a pre or post nuptial agreement legally drawn up by a lawyer to protect your assets and to avoid spousal support.

People who only want a Green Card don't love you; they use you or see you as an opportunity for their benefit.

I was so blind..he only wants the green card
by: JulieP

Omg I’m like all of you. I thought I found my first love overseas and married him and he came here. OMG he is an alcoholic and promiscuous… and talks so bad about me and my family.

I divorced him already but he keeps telling me that I’m the one to blame. He is obviously a narcissistic. He doesn’t work. He worked at one time, but then he stopped so he could drink. I have videos, recordings, and photos of his moods. But for him, I’m the one to blame.

I’m so tired...I work so hard, I take the bus to go home, and I pay for everything. We have been separated for more than a year. And he is still there in my room. And I sleep with my mom so I can avoid him. But he said I cannot kick him out. That he can make me get in trouble. He’s even threatening me with abuse...

I decided not to go to the interview for his green card because he mislead me. He said he will receive the green card and that there is no need of interview.

I only pray to God for this nightmare to be over. I’m very pacifist person... and I do not deserve this treatment. I feel all of your pain. I believed that somehow God will punish all the people that only used all of us. I can only wait. Thank God I have a job and continue support my family. He never gave me a penny. And he does not care for anything. He is only making YouTube channels because he wants to be famous.

Omg... what a nightmare!

He's asking for his visa papers...
by: Valentina

So I meet this guy almost 7 years ago. Everything was amazing, but I noticed he was texting other women and going out with them. In the back of my mind I thought it was normal.

But yeah, 6 years have passed and I am still with him. The guy keeps cheating and lying to my face. I got pregnant and he got so mad that I had a baby with him, that he is treating me horribly. So a few years back, he was in a terrible situation and some guys were hitting him really bad. I still don't know the truth and his family has never told me the truth. I know they have been hiding stuff from me.

So he proposed to me and I said yes, like the most stupid human being ever. After we got married, he kept cheating on me...something inside of me told me this is not real love. This guy only wants his visa. This guy is player.

I can't believe I was with him for over 6 years. All for nothing.

It happens to men too!
by: Larry

I can empathize and sympathize each and every-one of you. Let’s not forget it happens to men also. It would be nice see men that have experienced "Married me for a green card" My saga would put all to shame (lol) I do not think I will never over-come my green card marriage.

He married me for his green card and now wants a divorce.
by: Eva

I'm faced with the same problem after almost six years of being married. Just the start of this month my husband moved out, stating too many problems with my daughter and myself. But I have come to know the he has his citizenship and now he wants a divorce.

I married out of love, but his plans were different. As soon as we married he started taking trips to Canada to see his children, sending them money because now he was able to work legally and send money back to his country. So now I come to learn that he has all his papers in order to stay here. What can I do now that he is asking for a divorce? He only married me to get his green card and citizenship.

Seeking Prayers and Help - Active Case As Of Writing This....
by: Alisha

16 year old US citizen was lured into marriage by a 32 year old Mexican undocumented. Doesn't reveal anything about him being undocumented and that he is married in Mexico with 2 kids (with eldest being 12). How did she learn? He and his 4 other undocumented brothers live in same town, and for some reason he is not sending money back home to his actual wife. His younger brother causes an accident and his brother's US citizen girlfriend calls the cops. That creates the record and that's when this teen-wife realizes that her newlywed husband doesn't have a license as he is present in the US illegally! On further exploring, she and her family learn that he is an undocumented illegal Mexican.

She believes strongly that he loves her. They have one child together that is about 2 years old! It is not known how many other identities he has. The interpretation I derive is as follows: The girl belongs to a rich family in the US, her grandfather is a millionaire if not billionaire. He has two kids, the child of this teen-wife and another son/daughter. All live in same town/area. The teen-wife has a younger sibling.

The teen-wife has foolishly revealed to him about her family's fortunes, as well as how she and her sibling will be heir to everything as her parent die. Moreover, the structure of the will is such that if the sibling of her mother also dies, then it transfers to the last surviving member of family. He knows all this. The fear is if they start to eliminate family members one-by-one. It seems like one of the forensic files cases unfolding right in front of you.

They are a lovely family and nice people. I don't want this imposter to gain advantage over them. I'm suggesting the mother of this teen-wife to write a complex conditioned will to ensure everyone in family is safe, alive, and dies a natural death. Let me know if you can help? Thanks

He said he rescued me???
by: Michelle

I was dating a man from England. Oh, he was so kind and loving to not only me but my 2 adult sons. He would come legally to visit for 3 months and go home. Stay there 6 months and come back. This went on for 3 years. All the time wanting to help me and my family because he loved us so much. I trusted him. He kept insisting on helping my sons and kept telling me I deserved to be treated like a queen.

Well the last time he returned to England he told me he was going back to work and he was working for a while because he needed to pay some bills. He barely called me and as soon as my family member moved away he was again the MAN. "OH, I love you and want to get married, that's why I help you and your son." All the while for 18 months, he was meeting up with a married woman in Scotland (which he still claims is his good friend). Well, 18 months passed and I said, you need to decide if you want to come back here or not. He swore he loved me and was working for money to pay his bills. All along making sure he did things to HELP ME. But always throwing it at me that if he didn't love me he wouldn't be doing this all.

So he came back for Christmas. He was still acting loving and wanted to marry me. Well like a fool I married him. 4 days after our wedding he tells me and my son (who popped in to see us) that now that we got married he would say who and when anyone could come here. I knew at that very moment I was in a loveless marriage. All he talked about was HIS LAND and HIS CABIN. HE never told anyone in his family about me except I was his American friend. Kept saying his is too old to worry about him remarrying.

Then things even got worse. He would yell at me and put me down and turn it around that I was disrespectful to him. I got yelled at for 2 days because I cooked supper and was putting food on plates and didn't give him his plate of food first. He constantly was putting my sons down to me. And started having more and more anger issues. All along insisting we go to attorney to file for his paperwork as a USA citizen. I went to one appointment with an attorney and finally realized how he was actually using me for green card.

I told him I wanted a divorce after 2 months of marriage. Then covid19 lock down began. He kept saying he loved me but I knew better. He finally agreed to a divorce after 2 months of separation. I moved to my sons because he couldn't leave due to covid19 lock down. We went to an attorney, had everything agreed on and got divorced. Then it got worse. He refused to sign the quit claim deed. And refused to leave my cabin. So I called attorney and he said I have to take him to court for refusing to sign the quit claim deed he agreed to sign in divorce settlement.

Here we are 3 weeks later. He calls immigration and tells them I used him for his money and taking his land. I sit and cry all the time. He knows I am not able to hire attorney to fight this. So I am not able to live in my cabin I paid for and now I have to prove to immigration that I didn't use him for his money. When he's the one who played me for a fool. I don't know what to do or where to go for help. I'm terrified to be at my cabin because he is there. I am just praying that the judge sees the truth. 35 years of hard work could be gone. It's horrible.

Man married a woman for green card and kept me on the side
by: Sakura

I met this guy (Mike) on a dating app. He was 27 at that time and I was 28. I didn’t find him attractive, but he was a really sweet person. I told him we could be friends and that I started seeing other men. He told me he’s not talking or seeing anyone.

We kept in touch for 1 year and I kept seeing others. Then I dated one guy for another year. Mike helped me a lot emotionally and would help listen to my problems.

After my breakup with the other guy I started to develop feelings for Mike. I quickly fell in love with him and he told me he loved me too. We would chat almost every day in the first month. He lived oversees somewhere in Asia and I was in Canada so we had a 12 hour time difference but we coordinated and found time for each other.

He told me he had applied for a visa in the USA and we were waiting until he gets his visa and then he said we will get married. I asked him what his visa name was, but he didn’t tell me the proper visa name. This was a first red flag for me.

But he showed me so much love and cared so much for me. He wanted nothing but happiness for me. After 4 months of being with him in this relationship period, he gets the visa! And flies to USA in the next week! I was surprised everything happened so fast and was so excited that we were finally getting married.

What I didn’t know was this: He arrives in the US and calls me. Then he doesn’t talk to me for 3 straight days. I get a feeling that something is wrong and he might be going through something.

He calls me up and tells me he has some things to share. He says he can’t marry me in the US because he’s already married! I cried so much. This is the man I thought I knew. I never imagined he would play this game with me. He was so sweet and caring how could he do this to me?

Then he says he will leave her and marry me. But other times he says I should find someone else and don’t wait up for him. He doesn’t find his wife attractive but they’re living as husband and wife. They don’t have love in the picture. But they’re planning on having kids. I don’t know why I came in the middle in all this and not sure what to do now.

Allow me to disagree...up to a point
by: Lily

In my country, women who marry Americans are called US spies right to their faces, so a lot depends on the country. A perfect stranger told me in the elevator last month I would be killed when I moved to the USA because that's what "traitors" like me deserve. My father approves of my coming marriage, but even he says I should have married my compatriot. On the other hand, I'm from Europe and I myself got many scam messages from Africans and Arabs in the past, so I guess many people are like that in third world countries. It takes all sorts...

Indirect victim of group marriage fraud
by: Anony0641

My story is a little different as I’m not the one who brought her here. We met here in the US soon after she came through a fraudulent marriage to another US citizen (which I was not aware of at the time) and when I was a roommate to her elder sister. So she never lived with the first citizen, who is a fake hubby, and she was actually welcomed in her elder sister’s apartment and I was a roommate there.

Within the first three months, we already started a relationship and the relationship went very well for the next two years while she still living with her sister. Then we had to move together to a new apartment and the relationship kept going great for the next one and half years. Finally, some sh** started to happen, like her accusing me of sleeping with her sister and other relatives, and any call to my phone is now a good reason to start a fight and so on…

Finally, I started investigating the root cause of her sudden behavior change and all this crazy complaining. And surprisingly she happened to get her 10yr green card and that’s all she was waiting for and I guess I was just a backup in case things went wrong with the first fake marriage, and of course a good ride in the meantime…

Over the past 3+ years I wasted my time and resources assuming that I was building some memories with someone I’ll be living for long… fool me.

Further investigation led me to believe that the fake marriage in fact involves two families and another immigrant as well, not just my ex.

As this is a daylight group marriage fraud and an assault to the country’s immigration system which doesn’t even need investigation, I immediately tried to provide multiple online tips to ICE and USCIS. But as you all know already, these are castrated US agencies and nothing is going to happen to that illiterate zero skill future food stamp queen. And the idea of not being able to do something about it is really killing me right now.

As of today, all of the agencies I tried to contact freakingly ghosted me and it’s painfully frustrating. Anyone who wants to help me or have an idea/advice on how to approach this fraud or if you know someone reliable in these federal agencies, please let me know.

Married me for a green card
by: Gale

I met someone from Pakistan on messenger. He said he liked me, then we started talking for a while and he said he was married (but divorced) and had a daughter. I told him I was not talking to him if he was married and he told me honestly he was not married. We started a relationship and he couldn’t come visit so I went to see him.

We ended up married and then all he kept saying is this process is so long to come to the US. I always questioned him and he would become angry. He is very abusive by telling me to F off and that if I don’t trust everything he says, we don’t have a relationship. I finally figured this is his way of manipulating me. He does not keep a job, he is still probably married, and she is probably living in or near by his home. This is so hurtful but by being manipulated to either believe everything he is telling me or we won’t be together.

Finally I realized how stupid I have been this whole time. Please, never believe someone is honest just because they say they are. I know I deserve a lot better than someone who is lying and a cheater. Where I come from everyone who is married loves each other and isn’t married just because the other person benefits their needs.

Sucker didn’t get 10 years off me
by: Jade

I met a Jamaican at the Laundromat. He acted head over heels in love with me and he even waited for a year & 1/2 before the rush was on to get married. Against my best judgment, I married him (now I was 50 & he was 49). He had overstayed his visa & was afraid he would get caught. He paid all paperwork fees and I finally agreed we could try living together.

That’s when I got to see the real him. I politely told him you find it hard to give me a "bless you" whenever I sneeze, so I know you fake & we're not intimate; WE AINT GONNA MAKE IT! He was thrown out after 2 months, begged me for 6 months to still do the paperwork for the 10 year card, even as the divorce was filed! Exactly 3 years to the Day the decree was in!

I had warned him the whole time that I’m too old to play a fool for long. I will drop your azz so fast your head will spin, but you can show better than you can tell! All I lost was a lil pride & a whack scammer! Bye Clown & Yes I am Black!

by: April

After thinking he really loved me, I fell in love with him and put up with SO MUCH because I thought he was the one... He left me after 10 years IMMEDIATELY when I kept saying NO to marrying him so he could get a green card. He kept asking and tried to BUY ME in several different ways.
I'm crushed severely! I keep pushing on but it is VERY, VERY HARD! I feel lost without him, but I DO KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING and these feelings will pass over time...maybe a long time...but it will pass.😢

It was so obvious to us friends
by: Sharee

My friend is from India & is a legal citizen here. She met this guy from India online who was illegal in the States. He was obviously looking for a green-card marriage. He just happened to find her & she was naive enough to believe all the stupidity he said. She was over 30 - great job - her own house - super nice marriage prospects back home in India (all from nice families & great professions). She shouldn't have been so blind. None of us can ever understand it.

One person in her family seemed to be ok with him, but that guy had something to do with her meeting him. Some of her family went to meet him before he came to meet her & they didn’t have a good feeling for it. He came to meet family & none of them had good feeling & the meeting didn’t go so good. Everyone in the family thought that was the end of it, but she foolishly kept talking to him.

Her mother found out & begged her stop & begged her not to marry this idiot. It was so obvious to everyone. She ran off to marry him. How she didn't know something was very wrong, I have no idea because he would leave her for days in a hotel room when they traveled. I had another friend years ago who married a man that did things like that and he did that because he was gay & leaving her to go pick up men. After first some odd months looked like maybe she got a clue but someone stupidly told her maybe if she did her hair different or dresses differently, he would change.

It was so obvious to us friends part 2
by: Sharee

So they were married that first year. She did end up changing her hair and changing the way she dressed. And Nothing Changed. He was obviously in it for Green Card.

If she had divorced him before 2 years, then he would have found someone else certainly; but her life would be so much better today. Women should listen to the opinions of everyone that love them. Ask opinions from people you know have only your best interest at heart. And if your loved ones (like a parent) ask you not to marry this guy, then just date the guy for a few years & see.

That's hard to say too though because they talked for over a year. It was obvious though that he was trying to isolate her a lot through the entire time they were talking & emailing before he got her to marry him. Making it sound like it was "them" against everyone else.

So, they have been married for almost 5 years. He got his card. Took another some odd years or so to bring whatever family he wanted from India to live with them in her house. He leaves her alone a lot (I assume to find overnight/weekend quickies with other men like my other friend had gone through) and then basically 10 years have gone by.

She was 35 (I think) when she married him. Now several years of separation & divorce process. Nothing through this whole thing but grief in the end for her and not even children for her. I didn’t know he didn't want children or there was no real intimacy from him.

I only hope that she will at least remarry and find some happiness...

by: Betty

After seeing and hearing sooo much...I have learned they come here with much HATRED towards us and this is actually a form of REVENGE! Not only is it for personal gain...but it is also a POLITICAL/MILITARY MOVE!!!

You are not alone
by: AnonymousAnn

Mine used me as well. He is from Egypt. Two months after he arrived he leaves on the basis that he said my mother abused him. I knew I needed to take action, so I filed for an annulment and won. We know a supervisor from INS and he says he is now in the process of being deported. Karma is a b*tch but God has the ultimate say and it worked out in my case I suppose. I have a similar situation to everyone on here. I do not know why I did not see this blog before, it would have helped a great deal. The government needs to crack down on these leaches.

My story (crying)
by: Sammy

"He will not let me know where he is living. He still comes by and asks me to lend him money, but he never repays me. He even pawned the jewelry that I gave to him."

Almost word for word, my situation. Mine was an Algerian woman, who fortunately left me when she got her visa for France and before we got legally married (though married religiously).

Anyone who doesn't think its fraud from the inception obviously hasn't spent a lot of time in the third world, particularly Africa. Almost every day I have Algerian men ask me to find them an American wife even if they are married or have girlfriends. And I get marriage proposals from women who only speak Arabic (and I speak none). Not every woman is like this. My first wife was Filipino and loved me with a heart of gold, though our personalities were not right at all for each other.

It can happen to anyone...... believe this
by: Elana

Just to make it clear, it’s not always the person living in the states that's the victim. I believe my ex-husband did, in fact, use me to get his green card. However, after all of the back and forth he wanted to try again with the marriage (after a year of being gone) I told him NO, and I'm now planning on marrying this year. Know that the battle is not yours to fight. Everything in life happens for a reason, don’t question why anything in life happens, and just know that EVERY DOG has its day. And know that their day will come when they realize just what they did. Karma is a b*tch. REMEMBER THAT.

They don't care
by: BB

I'm going through the same and it seems like they are heartless. They don't care about hurting anyone as long as they get where they want to be.

Please DO a Ted Talk
by: Victim of marriage fraud

The Life Coach posted she was possibly going to do Ted Talk about this issue. PLEASE do. Women and men in the US must be aware so that they don't fall for this horror. Please, U.S. government, do something about issues like these..... how many more unsuspecting victims before anyone does anything?

by: Heatbroken

I was just s-x, free money and a green card...THEN ADIOS!!!

They REALLY ARE GREAT charmers!
by: Jess

No doubt about it!!!

They go to any length to make you believe they love you more than anything and can't live without you. Once you do everything they need and get all that they want...THEY DUMP YOU IMMEDIATELY!!!...without any guilt!!!

They usually love someone else too but will lie and take that fact to the grave with them. Once you start understanding their language and you confront them on what they said...they tell you that you don't know what they said.

I try not to beat myself up too much...but it hurts tremendously. I am an American and we are not to discriminate and treat everyone fairly.

Time heals all...a lesson WELL LEARNED!!! Thanks for listening and sharing!

Didn't want to believe it
by: Mark

Since we've been married, I always had a tiny feeling that my wife married me for papers, but always pushed it aside or convinced myself that it's all in my head. With all my heart and soul I didn't want to believe that, until I accidentally overheard my wife tell her sister that very thing I was afraid of being true, and till this day I still can't believe it, after 13yrs and 2 kids. I couldn't believe all the lies, all the manipulation, and how far she was willing to go for a permanent resident card. That day I lost faith in people......the only good out of this is my two beautiful kids

Was used for a green card and still suffering
by: Seriously

I really cannot believe that I am here still dealing with this. I met a man at school, UCF in central FL. He is Indian and I am 2nd gen Caribbean and we started dating, going out and all that. We moved in together as bf & gf and had our ups and down (my dad had passed away and I was emotionally a mess). So we decided to get married a year later. Everyone warned me not too, but I was 24 yrs. old & in love.

We moved to VA because he got a job with his H1-B visa (which is a work visa) and we got on with living. But he became distant, not talking to me, starting arguments, always speaking to his family and friends in Hindi (which I can't speak), leaving all the time. There was even emotional abuse that ended up in physical abuse. I sponsored him and he got his green card.

When I called the cops, they arrested me because he was more injured than I was? I'm 4’11" he is 5’10" (my daddy taught me to fight). Anyways it was dismissed, and the divorce dragged on (6 months separation is needed in the state of VA). I moved back to FL and he did too (I didn't know he did). We finally finalized divorce in July after four years of marriage.

I moved on with rebuilding my life AND didn't think anything of it. Well, I checked in on him on Monday and lo and behold as soon as the divorce was over - he married another Indian who came to the US to study and now they are married. They each make $100,000 in their careers and have a $625,000 house, travel, and all the things he promised me. He probably didn't even tell her he was married to me before and had the audacity the take her to Maui for their honeymoon - the same as when we married.

None of his life would even be possible if I hadn't worked multiple hospital jobs, paid money, sponsored him, and vouched for him at the interview. Now that he got his green card, he can get any job he wants, has an expensive house, and travels with NO problems because of the green card that he GOT BECAUSE OF ME. Meanwhile, I struggled to pay bills, work and try to rebuild my credit after the divorce. Well, last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I have less than 5 years left. I am in pain every day, had to move 3 times within the past 2 years trying to get affordable housing, work and now I have no health insurance.

I was born and raised here, went to school here, worked as a nurse caring for people here, paid taxes and been proud to be an American ever since I was born and this is what I get: poverty, pain, possible homelessness, and Cancer.

Is this what America is? Citizens get nothing and immigrants get everything? How many tech jobs did he get instead of an American citizen? Even when I tried to get the marriage annulled - it was too late. I have given my all to America and people like him come here, take advantage of the system, bring in all their family and never pay their dues. How is this fair?

He was from Jamaica
by: Trina

I’ve been married for 4 years now and my husband got his green card in October (he had to reapply because they denied it at first, probably because of his lies). I was in love with this man. I tried to be the best wife I could be to him, but he always treated me coldly. I should have seen the signs a long time ago but I'm like "I know I can't be this stupid, I might be just tripping" That’s because I went thru a 13-year abusive relationship.

I went to New York to spend the New Year with him and everything seemed ok, but 2 days later he stops answering my calls. I texted his mom looking for him and Lo and behold he was there. I didn't even know he was gone. He hasn't called me since he left, so now I'm realizing he just used me. I'm so embarrassed and feel so dumb and low. I have been thinking crazy things to do to myself, I'm going to talk to a lawyer because I’ve got the proof that this couldn't have been a real marriage. Once I talk to immigration and show my proof and get my divorce, he’s going to start from the bottom.

Marriage to obtain a green card
by: Rocky

Where to go, what to do? Soon after my wife got a green card, she filed for divorce after 2 years of marriage. She planned everything from step one to the last one. She never took my family name because she wanted a green card in her maiden name and she got it. She hid everything, I never saw any forms until it was a time to sign them. And I went to Immigration for the interview, but she was playing my family for good. What to do? Can somebody point me where to go and what to do? She lied that she never worked, but I got copies of checks she deposited to the bank. All this is going on in Houston, TX. I want her to be deported back to Poland and to never come back!!!!

It's too obvious
by: Lori

He’s from the Middle East, but somehow he was here on a Visa and have been divorced for about a year and a half. I've been trying to figure out if all the family is faking it and so far I believe they are; common sense should tell you. I've tried my best to get him everything he needs to run a business and have a home. I did everything for him and already he is showing no signs of appreciation. As much as it hurts, I am planning to withdraw my application from INS because all the signs are there. Beware if you suspect someone just married you to gain something, it's not worth it. It's better to hurt now than to be hurt even more later on.

I feel your pain
by: UsedByMamaBoy

My husband has left me for his mother. I will be cancelling his green card application

Being Used for a Green Card
by: Teresa

I moved in with my boyfriend 5 years ago. His children were awful and the ex-wife was bothersome too. I got stuck since my income was really low at the time. I didn’t feel I could go back to my family as they didn’t think much of my boyfriend. I dreaded coming home and would stay out late and make up excuses. I cried every night in the bathroom as he started to belittle me.

A few years later he pressured me to marry him. As we were saying our vows, I was dying inside. I want to scream noooo!! I was stuck with no income to get by on my own. It’s not that I lived a bad lifestyle, I was a professional but the economy was horrendous. I just had no way out and he knew it. His children lied and stole from me. They were awful. I excused myself to the bathroom after we exchanged vows just asking "how did I get myself into this situation". My dream was to be with the man of my dreams and have a beautiful wedding with friends and family. Instead, I had a piranha take advantage of the fact that I was in a horrible income and employment situation.

Fast forward months later, he pushed to go to an attorney to get started with his filing for legal status. I was barely getting on my feet and just hoped to start saving to hit the road. Now, I’m stuck again. I wish I had never met this person. I have been used and abused by him, his children, and ex-wife. His son scares me as he’s a very angry individual and was put in jail for assaulting someone. I’m afraid to do anything because I’m scared his son will hurt me. Stupid me, I wish I could have seen this back when I first met him.

I am man but I feel my wife married me for green card
by: Anthony

I am US citizen who lives outside the USA. My wife is a non-US citizen with a b2 visa. Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA. Here is where I enter the picture. While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online. One of the first questions she asked me when we met was whether I was a US citizen.

Anyways, we dated for some time outside the USA, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA. She went back to the USA on a B2 visa and after some time I followed her and we lived in the USA for some months. She would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on Sundays. She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it. Anyways she told me that the condom bothered her during sex and I thought nothing of it (hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children use a different contraceptive). Anyways, she gets pregnant and I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence.

With a baby on the way, we got married and have been in a very tumultuous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far. We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA. My spouse however has always had a fixation on the USA. Almost every day when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money. My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries where we live now are low compared to the USA. Since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year. She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents, even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and she would also constantly insist that I give her the green card.

My wife is not so nice when raising children, so therefore my mother raises our children. And if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and probably try or even right out take the children with her, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care. I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well.

So I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one. My wife lies a lot. Family and maids that work with my family have told me that my wife is way too rude. My wife claims to love me but doesn’t treat me as nicely as she does her friends.

To the commenter who blasted women and told them to act their age and stop the mommy syndrome
by: CatchingTheScammers are about as insensitive as the rats that used these unsuspecting women. You have no idea what it is are the most bitter woman I have ever seen in a forum....

So what is your problem?? That you have to pour salt in the wounds of unsuspecting women? Are you so perfect that it could not happen to you?

Oh you are smart ...right? But you too could have been in a situation like this. These are not uneducated motherly women who want to be Mother Teresa..,... These are WOMEN.....who deserved better that what they got. They were LIED to. USED....then discarded like trash.

These men are very crafty and desperate. And they are the wrong ones....not the victims you have blasted.

These women came here from the pain they have suffered and I can guarantee you that they did not buy into all this suffering. This is not what they were led to believe they were getting.

I read your stories ladies and I validate your feelings. I am the one who tries to catch these users and have caught quite a few. And I have seen and heard it all. It is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with the human emotion of love. But there is nothing more criminal and demonic as using the heart of a woman for their personal gain.

And to Miss Perfect who blasted you women who had the courage to come forth to share to help stop are an uncompassionate sorry piece of an excuse for a woman that is supposed to be supportive to your gender companions.

Rock on ladies. Karma is a you know what!!!
Love to you all. Stay strong ... life is good.

The signs are there - just look closely.
by: Life Coach

When I married, the signs were there. I choose to ignore them because I was wishing and hoping this man was the one. The speaking in one’s language, secret phone calls, the begging and I love you's all the time. Getting you ready for the big meeting, making sure you remember everything. I ignored the signs.

If you need a person to speak at any upcoming engagement on this topic please contact me. I am in the process writing a book on this topic and maybe be feature on TED Talk. It’s a story you won’t forget. It's powerful, God revealed.

Previous commenter is inexperienced
by: Kim

These men are the most charming, wonderful, believable people. They give life meaning and sunshine and then BOOM, they get their green card, and its wham bam goodbye. It is devastating and happens right before you could catch it. These men who want the green card, to them their life depended on it, and so they will hurt anyone just to get what they want.

The women involved aren't dumb, but these men are the best and most charming liars. They really know how to pull the rug from under your feet.

I'm only 24 and my husband of 5 years just left me two weeks after we petitioned for his green card. He told me he loved me every 10 min. He hugged me and kissed me, told me we're soul mates, talked about our future children... I found out after he left he was cheating the whole time, hitting on girls (all the ones on the street) where he worked. He went to nightclubs without me... Told me he was staying at his friends who covered up for him. I was in shock. I was not stupid, he was just lying through his rat teeth.

Please take time before marrying a foreigner and even longer to file for their green card petition.
by: JustMe

I have read and heard too many stories from American citizens who marry foreign nationals, file green card petitions for them, then the foreigner dumps them after they get their green card or citizenship.

Wisdom prompts me to tell Americans marrying foreigners please to consider:

1. Don't rush to marry a foreigner. Know the person at least for a year or more. Rushing and marrying a foreigner is simply stupid. They are dying to come to America, so they will marry you real quick even when they don't love you.

2. Delay filling for green card at least for 2 years while the foreign spouse works in their country.

3. Offer or tell your foreign lover you plan on moving to live with them in their country or your own original country of origin (if say you’re originally from Africa, or wherever). This proposal will make a fake love dump you if they are simply marrying you for green card to come to America.

4. You can choose not to file for green card at all. You are not required to. This too will weed those who just want to come to America.

5. Get to know your finance's family and friends, and ask them what type of person your fiancé is. You might learn she or he is not for you to marry.

5. Seek and listen to advice before you marry.

People who get dumped are usually in mad rush and make stupid uninformed decisions.

The whole family is Corrupt
by: Erica

Marriage should be beautiful meeting of the heart. A commitment to see every life challenges together and to grow just not old together, but grow a future together. My best friend believes in all of that even after being betrayed by her first husband. 9 years later she met a Pakistani who promised her so much. He found her in a vulnerable time when the grandfather her two kids knew and loved passed away.

We told her he was marrying her for a green card, but she said no he's coming from Mexico he said he had everything (but he lied). She paid for all his paperwork, she paid for him to get a job and licensed as a CNA. He took advantage of her in every way and even had his kids come here for 2 years. When his kids went back, he decided he didn't need her no more. The only thing he paid for during this whole marriage was the divorce and my friend went along with it because she says "If he doesn't want to live with me why should I fight it".

Their whole family is like that. His younger brother came to America from Mexico through his sister who sponsored him. They live in San Jose in Section 8 housing with the mother and she makes a six-figure income. Where is the justice?

His older brother has fled to Canada and is using their immigration process to better himself. These people know how to use the system. People should be made aware of this family. He never loved my friend and she paid for everything. At the end he used the fact that she was older than him; that never stopped him before from using her money and ruining her life.

If YOU question your marriage....
by: Hillary

The day after my husband got his 10yr green card, he looked right at me and told me he faked the whole marriage. He said he doesn't love me and hates Americans. Not much I can do to prove it. Now he is going to get married overseas and bring his soon to be new wife here.

If you are reading this and feel he is using you but not sure, think about why are you questioning it? Something in your gut is telling you the truth. Ask a friend from the outside what they think and LISTEN to them and don't just brush it off.

If you're questioning if he loves and MIGHT be with you only for his green card... chances are that God is telling you something but you don't want to face the truth because it hurts. But what hurts more, leaving a marriage where someone probably doesn't love you OR staying in it and waiting to find out till he gets his green card and then he divorces you to be with another woman??? Which is worse? Which would hurt more?

ASK a friend from the outside how they see it... LISTEN to them because their heart isn't in it the same as you. They can see it clearly! Friends love each other and only want the best so why would they try and hurt you.

Trust God... Trust friends... Trust your gut and go with it! Good luck!

Someone's bitter
by: KC

I'm sorry that happened to you ladies. As for the woman who felt the need to lecture everyone, you haven't proven anything other than you seem to have some issues. My ex-husband has his green card. He was always abusive, but INS doesn't look for abusive spouses, just spouses. I didn't realize I was being abused until a therapist explained it to me. I am educated, but abuse was what I knew. I went home to figure out what to do, and my ex-husband filed for divorce about a month after his green card came in the mail. To me, the marriage was not a sham, but I think it probably was to him. The timing was just too perfect.

Don't judge
by: Sharon

Be careful not to judge Brenda G. You have no idea what women are going through emotionally, financially or physically. The men who do this are charmers who shed their snake skin once they are married. The fact that it happens to men and women alike shows that it can happen to anyone.

He abandoned me after he received his green card
by: Duped

My husband abandoned me after he received his green card last year. He has been lying to me saying we will get a divorce so I can move on with my life. I don't understand why he won't divorce me and I just don't understand what the problem is. :(

He had a kid with an ex-wife in his homeland
by: Corrine

I am a US citizen and was married to an undocumented foreigner 7 years ago. He divorced his wife in his homeland and we got married after his divorce. He has 1 daughter with his ex-wife, age 19. The entire 7 years of being married, we did not live together. His reasons were because of his religion. Then when he finally received his green card, he went home to his homeland to visit his daughter. After he came back here to the US he started acting cold and distant. Then after more than a year, I saw his ex-wife in Facebook with a small child. After some investigating, I was able to get a hold of that child's birth certificate. And guess who the father was? MY HUSBAND!

If you divorce
by: lucy

I believe that (ask a real lawyer – I’m not one) if you divorce before 2 years of marriage he will not become a citizen and could have his green card revoked.

He married me for a green card
by: Brenda G

Well, I will start by saying some women need to stop being stupid. Second, you also need to take your fair share of the blame. I say this because I know 2 couples right now as we speak, who are divorcing and one got a green card and the other one didn’t. This happens when people just start to live together before they even know what the other person is like. And third, no one can make you get anyone a green card. If you did, it was for your own reasons. And to keep a man that I am sure you knew didn’t want to be with you, but at the time being with him made you look and feel good in front of the world. But now that you got him a green card, you want to say it was his entire fault and all the other stuff that you now want the world to believe.

You already knew that he took your money. Didn’t take care of you and yes that even now per your own words, he comes around some time and demands you give him money. Oops, did I forget that this is the same man that you still sleep with and give money to. And you are complaining about now.

It’s time women everywhere start to first - be responsible, second - act your age, and third - stop blaming the world for your lack of good decisions.
If you’re not educated, get an education. If you are educated, help some of these stupid women who have mommy syndrome and don’t want to grow up.

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