Inappropriate relationships with other women

by Amber

My husband was having so many inappropriate relationships with women. He had a lot of "friends" that he met on conferences and a lot of "friends" from work that he would take out one on one for "lunch." The funny thing is that he covered up these "friends" and hid them, deleting texts and emails when I started to get suspicious.

When he was in the hospital for brain cancer, I stayed by his side and nursed him back to health, since I had no idea of these relationships at that point. I was repaid by finding out he was corresponding and trying to meet up with a woman he met at a conference. When he was confronted, he denied, denied, denied. Luckily, I had the texts before he was able to delete them.

Friendships are one thing, but friendships with women that you try to hide from your spouse are another thing. Most affairs start at work, and my husband was no different. A few months after we separated, a friend of mine found out he was on a lot of dating websites. He lost his job because of some unethical behavior, and it doesn't surprise me. Why a dedicated wife and four beautiful children are not enough to fulfill the person you chose to be with forever is beyond me.

He has lost everything, his job, his family, respect, and yet he still proceeds to look for women rather than within himself for inner-peace. I feel sorry that he's so unhealthy mentally. I only asked him to leave when I found out his cancer was gone, but I cannot tolerate the disrespect of hiding relationships in a marriage.

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Mine had a familiar person to run to....
by: Shantelle

My husband and I were seemingly happy together. We got along great and loved to be around each other. Early into our marriage he lost his job and I became pregnant, but we kept things going. But his best friend was also his ex-girlfriend. Whenever we would have a disagreement, instead of talking it out with me, he would turn to her and she would know all the right things to say. She convinced him I wasn’t pregnant, because at 6 weeks I wasn’t showing and that she could make him happier.

He began to text her constantly and then would meet up with her while I was working. At one point I found raunchy photos of her on his phone that he asked her to send him. After that, everything fell apart. He became distant and eventually asked for a divorce after four months. We were separated for two months and then attempted to work it out, but the same problem arose. His ex-girlfriend continued to be in the picture in a major way and now he’s filing the divorce papers this month.

To: Inappropriate relationships with other women
by: Stacey

I am sorry to hear about your story. I was in the same situation for 20 years. He had a pattern that I already knew when he was having an affair. I stayed with him for all those years until this last one. He also works with her. Even after I found out and he had moved out of my bed and into hers, he still tells me that if I would have just kept quite that night he would still be here.

I thought I was enough, but apparently I was just good enough until the next one came along. Now I am sure he doesn't know what to do with her anymore and is looking for a way out. Of course, all his troubles he blames on me.

I have found a lot of insights and guidance through this web site. I have seen how he was looking for ways to just mess with me when things in his new life are not going his way. I have seen how things are much better for me and my kids without him in our house.

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