Abusive Relationships - Recognizing, Leaving and Recovering from Domestic Abuse  

The topic of abusive relationships usually doesn't come up in most casual conversations. It's like a dirty little secret that no one wants to talk about. The neighbor who hears the yelling and screaming is reluctant to talk to the victim for fear of seeming nosy. The co-worker who sees the bruises readily accepts the "accident" story, even though these "accidents" seem to happen quite often. And the victim doesn't speak up for fear of being judged as weak, or even worse, deserving of the abuse. 

Heart with zipper depicting the fine line between love and hate

Unfortunately, the victim often suffers in silence; afraid of reprisal if she speaks out. Even worse is when she does speak up and the situation is down-played by friends who just think she's over reacting. And the friends and family who actually recognize the seriousness of the abuse often lose patience when the victim continues to stay with her abuser.

What these people fail to understand is how continued abusive and controlling behavior changes the victim. The victim's self-esteem is slowly eroded away until there is not enough fight left in them to leave. While there isn't an easy solution for the situation, understanding the various dynamics of abusive relationships can help the victim, and those who care about her, recognize what's going on.

The following articles offer information to help you recognize and understand the different types of abuse, as well as provide tips on leaving an abusive spouse and recovering from the abuse:

Recognizing & Coping with Abusive Relationships

A woman often feels swept off her feet by when she starts dating someone with an abusive personality. She may be showered with attention and gifts, made to feel like she the center of his world. This type of fairy-tale relationship makes it easy to dismiss the first time there is a violent outburst. After all, most abusers are exceptionally charming and will apologize profusely, bring flowers and promise never to do it again. Unfortunately, it probably won't be the last time something like that happens. 

Warning Signs Of An Abuser - It's time to stop rationalizing certain behavior as "normal". Learn how to recognize the early signs of abuse and common abusive behavior.

Understanding Psychological Abuse - This form of abuse occurs slowly over time as the victim's thoughts, feelings, needs, and preferences are belittled by the abuser until the victim is held emotionally captive. 

Recognizing Emotional Abuse - Understanding how emotional abuse is inflicted and its lingering effects of the victim

When Words Hurt - For any woman enduring the continual onslaught of criticizing comments and demeaning put-downs, the resulting damage can be just as bad as being hit. 

Emotionally Abusive Relationships & Regaining Your Power - Learn coping techniques to help handle the verbal assaults in your marriage, deal with the controlling behavior, and ultimately take back your power. 

Domestic Violence Effects on Children - While the victims of domestic violence often bear the physical and emotional scars of the abuse, their children are also impacted just by living in the same household. Find out how the abuse can have lingering effects on such a child, often into adulthood.

Leaving the Abuse

It takes a lot of courage to leave the abuse. Often the victim has a well-founded fear that her abuser will go ballistic and hurt her or the children if she leaves. And there is also the fact the most women in abusive relationships don't have the financial means to leave because their abuser controls all the money.

Divorce And Emotional Abuse - Many women spend years tolerating emotional abuse and behavior that would shock outsiders. Some stay in the hopes their husband will change, while others stay for the kids or financial reasons. At some point, most contemplate divorce and struggle with the decision. If this sounds like your situation, this input from the life coach can help you reconcile your feelings.

Leaving An Abusive Husband - When a woman decides to leave, she faces the threat of how her husband may react. These tips can help you prepare.

Divorcing An Abusive Husband - Information and advice on creating an exit plan before telling your husband you want a divorce.

Divorce in an Abusive Relationship - If you're in an abusive relationship and are seeking to separate or divorce from your partner, you need to prepare yourself for a legal fight and take steps to protect yourself.

Divorcing a Narcissist – By their very nature, narcissists are manipulative and self-centered. And divorcing one may be one of the most difficult things you’ll have to endure. These survival tips can help. 

Coping with Divorce Stress when Divorcing a Narcissist - No matter how much cruelty and emotional pain you’ve endured from your ex, this simple exercise can help you relieve the stress so you can begin healing from the abuse

Restraining Orders - If you and your children are in danger or being threatened by your spouse, find out how a restraining order can help and more.

Military No Contact Order - Find out how a no contact order can affect military personnel who are going through a divorce. 

Recovering from the Abuse

Life doesn't magically turn around once a person leaves the abuse. There are a lot of scars to be healed, but know that you can rebuild your life and find joy in the aftermath. It's often a good idea to join a support group for survivors of domestic abuse, as well as seek counseling to help you work through your emotions.

Recovery For Survivors Of Abuse - How do you go about rebuilding a normal life after divorcing an abusive husband? Learn how to start healing and loving yourself as you grow beyond the abuse. 

Getting Past the Emotional Pain - It’s common to feel devastated when your marriage breaks up, even after enduring years of abuse. Working through the emotional pain you are feeling is an important step in healing and moving forward.

Transforming Tragedy to Find your True Purpose - Once you are free from the abuse, you can choose to transform your life into one that is full of hope and joy.

When Controlling Behavior Persists - Even with the finality of divorce, an abuser may continue to try to control his victim or at least make sure she never forgets him. Here are some tips to help deal with the "game-playing" after you leave. 

Project HopeLine - Find out about this innovative program which turns old cell phones into a lifeline for victims and helps fund domestic violence programs.

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