Partner Travels A Lot

by Linda
(MI USA)

Due to finances, my husband did his out of state antique shows without me during the past year, choosing to split expenses with his guy friends, like hotel, truck, gas, booth fees, etc.

Living in MI, the economics are bleak and our annual income has decreased quite a bit. For these reasons, I was left at home to do computer work for the business while he hit the road. Continued travel away from the home is dangerous for a relationship, which we had talked about.

Exactly one year ago this month, he met a nice woman, an antique dealer, and hooked up with her. He began seeing her after the out of state shows out East by delaying his trip back home by 3 or 4 days. I found out 4 months ago about her and that he was falling in love with her and out of love with me.

I am planning to divorce him and am really sad about it as he continues to see her although he says he still loves me, but only as a friend.

Comments for Partner Travels A Lot

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Stay Focused and Brave
by: Alma

You're a brave woman, I like that. Just keep it that way, focus on yourself, look at the brighter side and eventually things will go your way.
He pulled away
by: Marie

This is my second failed marriage, and I would have to admit it’s been the toughest one to handle. My first marriage ended after three years of alcohol and drug abuse from my ex-husband. I left because I didn't want to raise our child in that environment. It felt good. He is better now, thank goodness.

When I met my second husband, I felt like he was the one. We had so much fun together and he made me feel so special and wanted. I had already been divorced for two years and he was recently separated. We got married and after that is when the problems started.

We had trouble from his ex-wife and his two children. He never defended me and always blamed me for problems that I had with his youngest daughter by his first wife. He seemed to never be happy and we even bought a house that I thought he was excited about. He stopped wanting to go out and do things with me like we used to do. We talked about separating but never did it.

Then he started claiming he had to work on weekends. He was a truck driver, hauling just around the state. He was only gone about two to three nights out of the week. I should have noticed something when he said he had to work every weekend. Well, I came home at lunch one day and he had his belongings packed on the back of his truck. His mother was even there helping him.

I felt so betrayed. I was depressed for about a month and a half, but then I realized how happy I was without him. I noticed that I was becoming the woman that I was before we entered into a relationship. He moved in with his girlfriend a month and a half later after he left me, so I believe he was seeing her before he left. I think he is repeating the same behavior that he did with me.

We still can't get along, and he does things to spite me. He always said we were discussing separating, that we needed to get along, and not try to hurt one another. His girlfriend is very much younger than he is, so I think he may be going through a mid-life crisis. He left me with a mortgage, knowing that I couldn’t pay it, so I had to put the home up for sale and move into a rental home. I love the home, and I am considering buying it when I get my finances right.

All in all this divorce the second time around is worse than my first one, but I've learned from both of them. I don't believe that my ex-husband has though.
Something just was not right
by: michele

I’ve known something just was not right for a long time. He was an over-the-road truck driver and never came home even when he was in town. He was never able to account for his whereabouts and he didn't answer the phone a lot. So I just stopped worrying. But I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to me what really was going on.

It turns out my husband cheated. He married me while he was seeing someone else all the while. He finally told me after summons papers came because he and his girlfriend failed to pay for a car they bought together. The papers came to my home. There it was in black and white that he had been taking care of someone else.

How did he think he could get away with telling me nothing was going on? I knew something wasn't right, and I had affirmation to back it up. So I asked him about it. I told him what he was doing when met me at the house we shared, but I didn’t understand. And I don't understand. How? Why? Why was she better? He protected and defended her. But he never told me who she was to him. Why did he feel he had to protect her?

So I filed for a divorce. Now 8 months later he wants to tell me he made a mistake. A mistake…? A mistake that went on for 7 years! Well I'll be! He finally signed the papers, but now I don't know how to feel. Should I be glad? He helped her! He protected her! He took care of her! And now I feel guilty! But what should I feel guilty for? He did this. He was a fake from the start!

I will be fine I know. I feel betrayed and deceived. He is the cheater but I feel cheated.
We didn’t spend much time together
by: Sue

He was on the road often and I supported it. 1 year into the marriage he was caught in illegal activity, nothing I would have ever supported. Because of that, we lost our business. From there, things started to unravel. Finances became the precursor... Well the betrayal then the finances, then the lack of intimacy on my end, because I hated him for what he did. Then after separating, asking him to come back when he was ready to contribute and be a better man.

He decided to collect a business insurance claim check, without telling me about it. And in turn, I believe he's going to file for a divorce. It’s been a shocking and turbulent few years for me. The gentle heart I once knew is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Infidelity is easier to hide when you're on the road
by: Dawn

My husband is a traveling man. I was married to him for 30 years. On our 30th anniversary, while driving our youngest to college, he told me he has been having an affair for 14 years. It is 8 months later and I still cry every day. I am in counseling but still have difficulty moving forward.
I’ve been in your shoes
by: Beth

It turns out I was NOT his priority. After six years of different interests and busy schedules and my husband traveling 80% of our marriage I get a random email from a girl that he had been having an online affair with for 4 years of our marriage and then I find out that he has been "dating" a woman that works in his office. We have NO children together but recently obtained custody of his son from a previous marriage. I love the kids but I can accept nor forgive the constant lies and deceit.

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