My Prince Charming Changed
He treated me and my two girls like queens when we started dating. He made me feel special, and we feel in love after three or four months. It was so wonderful to be with someone like him. All my previous relationships were love-less. I hated sex and thought it was dirty. The smell made me sick because as a child from 4 to 11 years of age, I was molested by my brother. So my whole life I had problems with intimacy. Well this man taught me that sex between two people in love is beautiful, not dirty. And the more we talked about it, the walls that I've had up for forty years came down.
I loved that he did this…changed my world…and soon asked me to marry him! I was so happy. But here's the hardest part. The minute we said I do, he changed. You know like when you give a baby a pacifier and you take it away, he cries right? All I wanted was the intimacy I craved it and he took it away! Who does this?
We would go to work; leaving at the same time and getting off work at the same time. Yet I was home in fifteen minutes while he took four hours. So for the first three years he did this. Then his dad got cancer and asked if we would buy his house. I was glad because I never had a home of my own, so I thought it would get better. Instead it got worse.
Now I find out he's looking at porn, not pictures of women but men that looked like women!!! I about died. He denied and denied it. And now he says he's an alcoholic too. His dad passed away and it got worse.
He’s gone for weeks at a time and when he gets home, I go off because he won't say were he's been. So the fights turn physical on my part, I'm hitting to make him accountable for whatever. When I just yell he leaves. He just never wants to be here because he can't drink his self to death. 36 beers a day… not in our home!
To top it off, his Mom won't send him home. It says in the bible that mom is supposed to be 2nd and the wife is # 1. She has never raised her voice to her kids. I had tough love in more ways than one. He'll say he’s sorry and will come home for a day or two, but then he’ll be gone for three weeks at a time. Overall, he’s spent 70% at his moms, 20% in rehab, and only 10% with me.
When I said my vows in front of God, I meant them and live by them, but he has not done anything. I'm not working, he's retired and the house is in limbo. I don't know what or where to go. I have my fifteen year old daughter still at home and he's got his mommy. I can't take this. I'm going crazy not knowing when he’ll kick us out and where this house stands. He hides, lies about money and his drinking, and the only one that believes him is him. There's more but I'm tired...