Mental Abuse from the Start
by Unhappy for a Long Time
I don’t know how to even start describing what he’s put me through. It seems as if the mental and emotional abuse has always been a part of our relationship. First, I stopped going over to my friend’s houses because he asked me to quit smoking (which I didn't care because I wanted to quit too). It was hard to be around my friends because they smoked and I had to let them go. I barely saw my family because they lived apart from us (a little ways out of town) but he made it clear that they were not "his" family and he wasn't going to pay anything for them (gifts, etc.). We would have family dinner with his family once a week every week. But I rarely saw my family until recently I started going 1 x a week whether he went or not.
In his mind, I could NEVER do anything right. I could never keep the house clean enough for his standards, the laundry was never done like he liked it, I was too fat, I wasn't consistent enough with the kids, I wasn't anything he wanted. I don’t think he can even tell me why he loved me. (OH wait… 1 reason - I wouldn't shove my 1st child aside so we could do things together). That is the only reason I have ever heard from him. He knows nothing about my child hood. Nothing! I know pretty much everything about him because I took the time to ask. And he stopped showing me love right away - he asked me to stop saying it so much and stop sitting next to him all the time. We started spending more and more time apart. He would be in the bedroom while I was in the living room. It never changed even after we had children. Then 3 years ago he stopped being intimate with me. I was heavy and I think it disgusted him.
And that is sad because the whole 6 years we were married my daughter would tell me how unhappy she was and he wouldn't pay much attention to her, or would just down on her a lot and I did NOTHING. :( I tried to protect her from being hit, but once I got in, I couldn't get out, I was afraid, and had no money to do anything. That to me makes me feel like the worst mother ever. I allowed it to happen to her.
6 years of being in between them and 2 more children later, my Husband pushed my now 17 year old down. He admitted to this 2 or 3 times. He says that he was protecting HIS property, which is BS. I called my sister that night and had her come and get my daughter
He is an adult and has NO right to lay his hands on ANY of my children. So I waited and plotted until he was asleep and packed everything I could get my hands on and fit in my car and fled the next day with my other two children. I have spoken to 1 lawyer and am going to see 2 more. He has changed the locks on the house and the garage door so I can no longer get the rest of my things without him knowing or being there.
I feel I am in a pickle. He could very well get 50 /50 custody which would leave me with no way to support my children. I do not bring home enough money to even pay rent. Let alone buy food and pay the regular bills.