Married but all alone
My story is a little unique...I’m not looking for judgment please. I am still currently married; I have been with my husband for 10 years and married almost one year. He got in trouble around 12 years ago for being with a girl that was a few years younger than him and he is now considered a registered sex offender.
We have a child together who is turning 8 and he has yet to see her...he has never met her, never held her, never watched her be brought into this world… not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. We are only allowed to see each other certain days out of the week and they have to be approved.
Don't get me wrong, I love this man so much but the loneliness that I endure is hard to take. His family treats me horribly and he doesn't want to rock the boat so he allows it, and if I stand up for myself I am causing the drama. I have invested a lot of time, tears, and heartache into this relationship. It's not easy being a single mother yet so lonely and being married.
There is so much more that I can list, but it would take forever to get everything covered. In order for all of this to be done and for us to become a family he will have to serve some time in prison… he got a fairly lengthy sentence (for which he's already been on probation for 12 years and having to do another ten is out of the question). So here is another worry on my mind.
I want to clear this up that he is not a child molester nor is his crime regarding a child - I wouldn't be with him if it was. I feel detached from him out of my own bitterness towards him. I cry at the thought of leaving him, but cry at the thought of being left alone and missing him.
What can I do to make my marriage work? I am so tired of being so lonely and having to do all of this alone without any help. Thanks everyone for any advice you can give me!