Lack of sex

by Kirby
(Essex)

Our sex life was reasonable before we married, then we had sex once on honeymoon. Then it stopped.

That was just over 6 years ago. I tried to get my husband to go to the doctors but he wouldn't go, using the excuse that there's nothing wrong with him and he just doesn't want sex anymore.

I don't know where to go and I don't know what to do!

Comments for Lack of sex

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Lack of sex
by: Amy

I didn't get a divorce and I really should have. This is the worst mistake I ever made. But I've accepted this horrible mistake.

I've been married 46 years and only had sex once, my first and last all in about 10 minutes. It happened on our wedding night and I can't say that it was exciting or not. I remember maybe uncomfortable. He hated sex and thought it was the most disgusting thing he ever did, he wanted to vomit. That was the last time he slept or even had dinner with me.

He didn't want anything to do with a honeymoon, just wanted to get away from me. He moved to our basement and immediately started to work the midnight shift. We never talk or are together, he wants nothing to do with me. We just leave each other alone and go about whatever we want to do. I can't blame anyone except myself for not moving on, but it’s too late. I hate all men and will not go near another one; they are cruel, uncaring and disrespectful.
Rookies...
by: Max

Prior to getting married, we were like rabbits. We would be all over each other 3 to 5 times a day! Shortly after marriage we dropped to 3 to 5 times a week. After our first child, we went months before starting up again. After that it went to once a year until we tried for our second child. After a week of fantastic sex, she was pregnant and back to once a year for about 4 years, then a LONG 10 years with NOTHING!

I do more around the house by far (inside and out) while she sits with her laptop. If I try to kiss her, she turns her head, touch her hand you'd think I shocked her. After 10 years, she all but attacked me. I was tired from cutting wood all day, but she kept pushing until I was finally spent, then again in the morning. 2 years later, the same out-of the blue surprise (like maybe she had a pregnancy scare or something). I can't prove she's getting it somewhere else, so I stay and take it.

I had a vasectomy (twice) that didn't go well after the second kid. That trauma coupled with the lack of attention over the years and I found out I have low-t and congestive BPH. She's just indifferent when it comes to my little issues. She just complains and 'directs' me to do this and that all day after I get home from work.

I guess, I'm just stupid, but at least I have my kids to keep me company (24 and 19) but I'm sure they'll be moving out shortly, then what's left of my life? What to do then? Stay the hapless slave with no physical relationship with a person I am starting to really resent???????
Sexless Marriage
by: golfguy

I am in a sexless marriage as well. My wife of 12 years has gained over 30 pounds and is ashamed of her body. I have had two four year blocks of no sex in this marriage and am through.
I know how you feel
by: Laurie

My Husband lost interest in sex after about five years of marriage. We worked on the marriage for another twelve years and eventually grew apart and went our separate ways.
Lack of sex is emotional abandonment
by: JohnC

My wife hasn't been willing to have sex or be at all affectionate for several years. She says it's natural for her to feel that way because of all the things I've done to hurt her.

Marriage counselors tell me I haven't done anything to deserve that. I'm not a perfect husband, but I am faithful and true. Eventually they tell her to let go and quit badgering me.

How many years living on the other side of the house?
To lack of sex
by: Cathy

Oh, I am sorry for your problems. You have been married such a short time. Have you thought about what the next 20 years might be like in such a situation?

A man who truly loves his wife cares at least as much about her needs as he does about his own. This doesn't seem to be the case in your situation.

Only you can make a decision about your life, but you need to consider your priorities, not just your husband's. Failure to address your own needs will only lead to resentment toward your husband as time goes by.

If he won't see a doctor for a medical condition, perhaps you could persuade him to enter marriage counseling. If he is as committed to this marriage as you appear to be, he could certainly take this first step.

I wish you well.

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