I started seeing someone else

by Bridget
(Texas)

I am 22 years old and have been married for 3 1/2 years and four months ago, I left my husband.

A guy I dated back in high school came back into my life via Facebook and we started talking and texting every day. That just drew me and my husband further apart. Finally, I told him I wasn't happy with him any longer and that I was moving out. I moved back in with my parents and have been seeing this guy for 5 months now and my husband has no idea.

I feel bad for not being honest with him. It is so hard for me to tell him I want a divorce because I get so confused on what I want. He hasn't been the best husband, I have trust issues with him and he has treated me badly in the past. But for some reason I still don't know if I really want to leave him. I tried counseling but that got me nowhere.

I feel like I'm really falling in love with this other man and I know it isn't right. I am an emotional wreck pretty much all the time except when I'm with the "other" man. My husband and I went about a month without talking. Then we started meeting up for lunch and talking on the phone. But then when I do that I feel like I'm betraying the "other" man, so I cut ties recently.

He has fallen madly in love with me. While he is the innocent one in the midst of all this and I know it is wrong, I just keep on and on. I need help, I know no one can make my decisions for me but I need advice.

I've talked to my family and friends. They all tell me the same thing, that he will never change and that I'm back to my old self ever since I left him and that I seem so much happier. I feel like I have a problem and I don't know how to deal with it.

My husband says he will change and that he doesn't want this so it makes me feel guilty every time I hear him say that or when I talk to him. I've always put him first and myself last and I know that’s not the way it's supposed to be.