He was cheating on me

by teri
(california usa)

My ex and I were married for almost 28 years. I found out he was cheating on me and I let him come back with the understanding that if he did it again, we were done. Well, not even two years later I caught him with the same nasty filth.


What I don't understand is, if I was going to cheat I would go up in the world, but not him. I found out that he has cheated throughout our whole marriage and not one of these women even compare to me. Not that I'm the perfect catch, but I rank way on top of these chicks and all of them knew he was married.

I don't understand women today that chase or sleep with married men. They aren't going to ever leave their wives, but that is so disrespectful. It makes me sick to know that my man didn't even have to go looking. They were jumping at his feet, and believe me he's not 100% perfect.

Comments for He was cheating on me

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Who are we really married to?
by: Rose

My husband was on all these dating sites and was e-mailing girlfriends he had like 25 years ago. It was all hidden and when asked he just lied about everything.

He was a liar and a cheat. The trust was gone and I'll never view him as the man I once loved and married.
He was cheating on me financially
by: Sydney

To who are we really married? This is an excellent question. I am in the process of divorcing a husband of 30 years, and sometimes I ask myself who this man is. Although he did not cheat on me in a romantic way, he cheated me financially. In addition, he disrespected me as a human being by controlling every aspect of my environment, including the heat, electricity, and even the garbage.

Truthfully, I wouldn't care if he became involved with another woman. This would be a gain for me and a loss for the other woman. However, I would like to believe that any woman who would want him would have to have her brain and her eyes checked. She might also want to monitor her bank account.

Good riddance to these "men." I use the term loosely, because I think they are both cowards and bullies.

I wish you luck on your journey.
I've suffered enough!
by: Elayne

After twenty five years of betrayal and deceit, I've had enough.

My husband has done it all; stayed out all night three times in the early years of our marriage. After a brief separation, he lied to the marriage counselor stating he was working "undercover" (he was a police officer). The therapist believed him but I knew better.

He actually tried to seduce a friend of mine who was upset over a break-up with his close friend. They had been drinking and she immediately called to confess the kiss he had given her. Later he tried with another friend via email to "visit" her, of course without my knowledge.

After our two sons were born there was some relative calm, but by the time they were teenagers he was back at it and had an affair with a coworker. Around the same time he registered on match.com as "single with no children". He promised to stop… fast forward five years and he was frequenting similar sites like zoosk and Cupid claiming he just liked to look. Now he's on at least five dating sites while I'm at work I just found out. He also maintains contact with about six or seven single female "friends"

Unfortunately, he has a degenerative movement disorder and a history of prostate and bladder cancer. Despite his illnesses he continues to disrespect and betray me. I feel no choice but to seek divorce. I have suffered enough.
I’m in the Same Position
by: Misti

I am coming up on my 3rd wedding anniversary, and I know when we got married he loved me. But 4 months after we were married he cheated on me, got her pregnant and now has a child. She was born 5 days after our wedding anniversary.

I originally forgave him for that, but now he doesn’t come home at night, he hides everything from me, from money to phone numbers, to mail. It’s like he doesn’t want me to know what’s going on in his life. We took a vow to death do us part, but I know deep in my heart he is cheating. I am in the process of saving up as much money as I can to leave him. He just doesn’t know it yet.
The truth comes out after you're married
by: Tracy

My husband told me a week after we got married that he had a two month old baby. I'm confused, but we’re still together!
I feel the same
by: Zoey

I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!
I feel like he is a "stranger" and that I NEVER knew him at all...
Isn't that just sad..??

It’s sad for him, because I am a good normal human-being/ person.
I pity him for not being the same…
He has no morals and ethics.
And having a marriage with someone, while you are living two separate lives?

We are with you girl!! :)
Stay Strong!!!!

YOU are the BETTER PERSON :)
Why do men hurt their wives?
by: Heart Broken

I was treated bad, called horrible names, knocked around, cheated on etc. But I still kept him, out of my love for him. Was it love or sickness? I'm finally at the point of going from the totally in love, weak at the knee kind of love, to almost hate.

I would be a fool to stay in this marriage any longer. He is a selfish man and a horrible husband. How can I leave with nothing to go on, but I need to for my life’s sake. This is killing me to be in the same space with him, he now makes me sick. He says he is Christian but does not act it out.

I'm older now and trying to start over. Anyone know of someplace an older woman can get free divorce and place to live to get started on a new life? ❤️ broken
Cheated on after 39yrs of marriage
by: Beverly O

I've also been cheated on after almost 40 years of marriage. He has been on a couple of holidays to the Philippines, supposedly to visit friend's and looking for cheap dental work. I recently found out as I was completing preparation's for his 60th birthday party, that he was calling a Filipino woman. I waited until after the party and tackled him about it. He said he met her just before the last week of his holiday but nothing happened.

I didn't let him know I knew about the calls, but as I was traveling to look after my sick mother, I thought I would use the time away to think about our future together. We had agreed at the beginning of this year that he needed to act a bit more like a husband to me. Imagine my anger, grief and disgust to find out after a few days at my mother's that he was calling her BEFORE the holiday, so he must have met her well before then. I have 3week's left of my stay with my mother and I'm counting the days to when I get home and tell him Adios Amigos. Why then do I feel so bad that he doesn't know my plan's and that I know about his betrayal???
Cheating with "escorts"
by: Kay

Two weeks before Christmas, I found an incriminating email from "Lee". My husband admitted to seeing escorts 3 times over the last 18 months. I think this is the first time he's cheated on me. But before this, he's gambled on the stock market and lost over $100k. The only way I found out about this is that we had a 2nd mortgage on the house. He forged my signature.

I've been a stay at home mom, and the kids are 14 and 16. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But how do I trust him? Or am I just being naive?
Ouch
by: Nancy

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Cheating husbands do sometimes leave their wives though - mine sure did, and after 19 years of marriage. The women are foolish to mess with married men, yet we stay married to men who cheat...so I'm not so sure we're any smarter.

By the way, I read a book 'Why Men Cheat...' (The author was on Oprah several years ago), and his survey of cheating men showed that 69% of the men who cheat think their wives are more attractive than their mistresses. So as much as we want it to be looks, it's not always.

I'm sorry for your pain.
To: Trying to Figure out WHY He Cheated
by: Cindy

Dear Lisa,

I know it is painful to learn that a 27-year marriage is, perhaps, over.

However, in your post, you place so much unnecessary blame upon yourself. You worry if you are pretty, if you are fat, if you "said something wrong." Never do you mention what your husband "did wrong." He betrayed your trust. He totally disrespected you, as well as your contributions to a 27 year marriage. He was totally devoid of honesty or compassion. This isn't love.

Now, YOU are taking anti-anxiety drugs. What is wrong with this picture? It’s your guilt and your sadness. He has hurt you, but now you are hurting yourself. Yes, it is painful, but you must move on, because you deserve more than this...from any man. I hope you find it.
Trying to figure out why he cheated
by: Lisa

After 27 years of marriage, my husband told me that he has been corresponding with a woman in the Philippines. He waited until I drove my daughter to college and then 5 days later, he snuck out of the house under the premise of going to "Montreal". He really flew 8,400 miles to be with this person he met on the internet.

I was devastated. I cried so hard, my sisters couldn't even understand what I was saying. I had the hardest time trying to figure out why he did that. Was I too fat, was I ugly? Did he not find me attractive, did I do something? These are things that I am still having trouble dealing with, depending on my mood.

I went to the doctor and now I'm taking Wellbutrin and Xanax until the Wellbutrin kicks in. I didn't cry yesterday at all, which is a great accomplishment for me. Does anyone have any advice for me to try and understand this? I do have a lot of support and have been seeing a counselor at my church. Thank you for any advice.
Cheating is not acceptable
by: Michael C Craven

Your spouse breaks the trust of a relationship and not whether the person is better or worse is important. Most important is to move on and get involved in healthy relationships.
I sympathize
by: Gayla

I sympathize with you, Teri. However, in your post you mainly blame the other women for having an affair with a married man. You also seem upset that they were not perhaps as pretty or classy as you are.

I would say that an intelligent, pretty, and classy lady can do much better than the cad to whom you are married. Don't blame the other "ladies." Place the blame where it belongs: (1) on your cheating cad of a husband and (2) on yourself for tolerating his hurtful and disrespectful behavior.

If you continue to stay with him, you will have only yourself to blame for your unhappiness. Please see a lawyer to learn more about your marital assets, debts, and options.

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