He cheated several times

by Emmah

I’ve been married for almost six years and I'm in the process of divorcing (still looking for an attorney). My husband started to act strange when he started work for a new company. He first answered a late call and pretended as if he doesn't hear anything.

I asked him about it and I was told that was a colleague. We fought about it and he moved out of the house for a day and came back here after. He then started to whisper when he answers his phone. When he goes to the bathroom he would take his phone. When he forgets the phone by mistake, he could come back for it. After a while you would hear him talking with the phone, but when he comes back he’s off the phone.

I asked him about it again and again he left it for a while. They continued to chat at the office. Almost three years ago he received a text from his girl. He refused to read it, but I kept at him until he opened it. He said he doesn't know the person who sent him that text. A few months later, he told me that he's going to see his Aunt. She isn't well and when I asked about her, he shouted at me. I kept quiet and he left immediately and came back on Sunday morning. While he was gone he switched his phone off (I tried to call but got no answer). He then phoned me the following day and I was out of the office. He tried my cell but I didn't hear it. After his missed call,
I then realized that he was with his girl.

The incident passed, and I decided to forgive him. The very same year he cheated on me with another girl. He saved pictures of her undressed on his cell and saved her photos as her contact. Every now and then, when he phones her, her picture was appearing, and when she phones him her picture was appearing. I tried to divorce him but my parents refused to help me. I ignored him at the house up until the marriage counselor helped me to forgive him again.

Last November, he started texting with his friend again, telling her how much he loves her and how much he missed her. We talked and he apologized. In June, the very same girl told me that I don't know how to satisfy a man in bed, I don't know how to kiss him. He then moved out of the house for three weeks. One of the church leaders intervened and he came back home. I was still in my healing process and he left the laptop by mistake with his Skype chat open. He was video communicating with the lady and they were showing each other their private parts, they were talking about how they are going to do it when they meet each other.

I’m so disturbed and I'm looking for an attorney left and right. I will just file for divorce without informing my parents. We've got two sons, the first one is four years and the other one is 10 months. I'm worried about my kids but I think this is the best decision for me and my kids.

Comments for He cheated several times

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by: Catherine

I believe you should take a hard-edged approach and assemble all of the "evidence" with the images and communications with dirty-talk and show it to your parents. Tell them that this is only a smidgeon of what you are enduring. Do they want you to be infected with an STD? It CAN get worse. You are able to get away and to start a life free from the habitual cheater. You have to decide that YOU deserve more.

Why would you want to give a man your love and dedication when he obviously doesn't appreciate it? And he must be having quite a good time talking about your inequities with his girlfriends. Let him talk about you, as his ex-wife.

Sometimes, all the effort to stay together doesn't make for a great decision or a great life... Get out early. I was one of those women who stayed and kept waiting for my husband to be solidly devoted to the family, but he finds other reasons to be a miserable man and he still does all he can to make me feel worthless. One day, you snap and see that you no longer care about him and his needs and his wants and you no longer care about the label of "divorce."

God allows divorce for good reasons - you qualify. We are all sinners and you need to remember that being a Christian does not give a valid reason to stay in a useless marriage. God expects better of us women, we need to READ the Bible too and see how this type of husband is failing and you are already set free. Get it on paper.

Cheated on TOO
by: RealRose

He will probably continue his behavior. Cut your losses and move on before you give him 30 years of your life and realize you should have moved on sooner. You and your children deserve a lot more than a lying, deceitful and abusive male (real MEN do not have such character). He is a bully who does you this way because he probably feels you will stay and take it.

ABSOLUTELY no one deserves such treatment. If you stay and continue to tolerate the abuse it will only make you angry, bitter and resentful, you cannot be a good mom if you are in this state.

Protect yourself first
by: TEE

Protect yourself first. He made the choice... now you are making one that is for you - Do not degrade your ex in front of the kids and don’t create problems that need to be address later.

good for you
by: Dont look back

I agree with you. It’s so hard to make that final choice. Keep moving forward and stay strong.

To: He Cheated Several Times
by: Yvette

Well, I certainly do sympathize with your situation, and I think under the circumstances, it is time to get a divorce. This husband continues to disrespect you. He lies to you, and he dishonors the vows he took. Also, I find it troubling that the father of two small children is sending and receiving photos of bare bodies’ right in your own house. How available can he be as a father if he's in the bathroom calling his girlfriend or "out of town" on an illicit tryst?

It sounds as though you are letting your "minister" and your parents, as well as your husband, control you. I don't understand why. Is this a religious issue? Well, I don't think God would ever sanction what this man is doing to you, and I can't understand why your parents would, either.

I wish you luck in your journey of self-discovery.

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