Our love ended so soon

by Megan G
(Corpus Christi, Texas)

My husband and I got married after dating for well over nine years. We met while we were still in high school and working at the same job. A friendship turned into love, yet I started seeing changes in him. The changes were due to him cheating and lying to me. As we grew older, his ways continued and yes I’m dumb for staying with him, but I thought he would change.

We finally got married when I was 20 and things were wonderful. Yet now, one and a half years later, we can’t stand each other.... all we do is fight and yell and put each other down.. I guess it's kind of my fault if I had just broken it off all those years ago, maybe I wouldn't be so heart broken. I mean who really stays with a guy that gives her the excuse that the reason he cheated was because he didn't care about her???

Now, he works out of town, so he lives there Monday thru Friday and comes home on the weekend and all we do is fight. I have no idea what to do.... when it’s good it’s great!!! But right now I just can't stand to look at him... divorce at this point seems to be the only option. He's changed "so he says", but do I forgive him? Should I act like nothing happened and forget the past? Or should I go with my heart and leave this man lonely?

Comments for Our love ended so soon

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Ditto
by: Linda

I went through the same thing with my ex-husband. He made up in his mind that we weren't supposed to be together anymore (after 2 years of marriage) and he cut intimacy ties from me. If we ever were intimate, he apologized later & said it shouldn't happen. This is a painful thing & I still haven't recovered :(
No Longer in Love
by: Beatrice

After 3 years of marriage, we no longer have an intimate relationship. Don’t get me wrong, it was great when we first got together. But now there is no foreplay or loving touches, no kissing or even trying to be romantic. Sex consists of 1 maybe 2 minutes of missionary style.

Now he works at night and I go to school in the day so we never spend time together. We go to different churches. He's from Nigeria, been in America for ten years and doesn't have one American friend but me.

Although he pays all the bills, I attend school fulltime, do all the house work, including iron his scrubs for work, wash, fold, put away all the clothes and learned how to cook his native foods. He refuses to try anything new. I no longer love him or feel him in my heart.
In The Same Boat...
by: Rene

Oh yes… I am in the EXACT same situation. I am overwhelmed, exhausted, and HIGHLY disappointed. The longer I stay, more depressed I become. He feels no remorse for my unhappiness! :(
I just want the truth!
by: Mia

I have been married for 4 years, of which only a year and a half was happy or so I thought. I met my husband online. We dated for a long time, visiting each other constantly due to staying in different countries. I finally moved to his country and we got married.

I thought everything was ok, until one day I found him on the internet with all the dating and sex chat rooms, chatting up all the "ladies".... Since then nothing was the same. I could not believe he was chatting up other girls, if I was supposed to be his wife and sweetheart, until death do us part!

Since then I just became sensitive to all he does and said, and so a journey of 2 years of constant cheating and lying from him. I have so many examples so many times...

He stopped being intimate with me for over 2 years ago. If I ask if there's a problem, he tells me I am obsessed with sex! As if I have a problem.

All I ask is just tell me the truth! Just tell me so I can move on, I can close the chapter, stand up again, and move on. Is this abuse? To tell me constantly that I see things, imagine things... And Good heavens trust me the evidence is there, but he just denies it, he refuses to divorce me, telling me it will get better, it will change.

But what will change if he does not acknowledge what is going on. When will it change if he does not make an effort? How can it change if he never wants to be home any more, constantly on hunting trips?

I just need the truth. The lies are killing me emotionally, and I doubt myself constantly...
Again I just need the truth to heal and forgive him and not feeling guilty about divorcing him, so I can move on.
I CAN RELATE...
by: Sharri

Listen, I know how you feel. I have been with my husband for 7 1/2 years now (4 of them married).

He was the perfect gentleman at the start and he would shower me with gifts. He bought me an engagement ring from a fancy jewelry store after 8 days that we spent together without an hour apart. When he took me home he apologized and told my family he would do anything to see me, even be chaperoned!

He bought me extravagant gifts and supported me. He also promised me the wedding of my dreams. But we ended up getting married in the court house on his work break- how romantic (not). He kept promising me that I would get the wedding of my dreams. We bought bridal magazines by the truckload and then he came out with it- the bride's family pays for the wedding so if you want it, talk to your mom. Now I don’t have the best relationship with my parents... They were dying for me to be out of the house and someone else's responsibility.

Anyway, when I left the hospital my home was gone, my life was gone, and I lost my lover and best friend. I finally built up the courage and went to his mother to find out what the hell was going on and she was civil to me. She said he left you money for a ticket but then took it back. We don’t have anything of yours and it’s all been sent to your parents.

I only heard from him months later when he wanted something. Now that I want my stuff, his mom said she is shipping him everything. AND WHY WOULD THEY SPEND ALL THAT MONEY WHEN HE CAN GET NEW FURNITURE FOR LESS!!!

Anyways I’ve decided on divorcing the ass! And I want to hurt him like he did me, and the only thing that seems to get his attention is money. But we got married in the middle east and I have no clue what I am entitled to (if anything). I have suffered multiple humiliations in public and private, beatings, insults, insults towards my family... What really gets me is that I would actually take him back! WHY IS THAT!?

My advice, run honey run as fast as you can! AND TAKE EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK!
Wrong Assumption
by: Emma

There are many couples out there who think they have found the perfect person for them, only to find out that it is not. But life is always full of opportunities. They may be wrong at first but they eventually make the right decision.
Do what makes you happy
by: Nikki

Do what makes you happy Megan. It's your life and it is your decision whether you leave your husband or not...
Leave that man
by: Jules

Leave that man. Just forget about him. There are still many men that are more worthy for you than him.
Move on
by: Catherine

Jules is right Megan… maybe it’s time to move on.

Find another man who will love you and appreciate you more. Move on and give yourself the better future you deserve.
I feel for you
by: Brandy

Megan G. from Corpus Christi I think you should move on. You seem like such a wonderful girl why would you put yourself with junk... that's all this guy seems like. The first step is admitting that the guy you "think" you love is not the one for you. Love is a gift don't let a cheating loser bring you down.... hope this helps!

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