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Women's Divorce Blog
The Women's Divorce Blog is a source of news and information about divorce to
help you navigate the divorce process and begin to rebuild your life. Learn
about:
How to get a divorce
What to consider if you have children
How to get a grip on your emotions
Tips on making ends meet
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It's not what happens in life, it's how you handle it
Life is always going to throw us curveballs, and divorce is one of the biggest curveballs we will ever face, second only to the death of a loved one in terms of loss. If we accept that life will always present us with fresh challenges, we won't be as upset when they appear. Recognizing the fact that life is continually handing us obstacles to overcome, we can then be more accepting and less likely to be angry or resentful. It's not what life throws our way that determines the quality of our lives, but rather how we choose to handle what life throws our way.
Parenting Plan Modifications
Changing circumstances often warrant parenting plan modifications, such as changes in child visitation schedules and parental access.
An important part of the divorce recovery process is facing your fears and moving beyond them so that you can begin designing the life that you want to lead.
If I had to choose the most powerful tool for personal transformation and ultimate happiness, it would have to be honoring the truth. Setting aside ego and fear and facing the truth allows you to make powerful and lasting changes and choices in life. You cannot fool yourself for that long, and if you do you'll pay a big price. Denial leaves you totally powerless to change. Drop your interpretations, your story, and your drama, and look the truth in the eye.
Imagine if you went to a doctor looking for a cure to an illness but you did not tell her all your symptoms. How could she make a diagnosis and help you?
The truth will set you free.
Legal Separation
Legal separation is the solution when you’re neither married nor divorced.
Think about it: We only worry about what might happen, aka the future, whether it's a minute away or a year away. Given the fact that we have no control over the future and cannot even begin to predict what tomorrow holds, exactly what do we accomplish through worry? We cause ourselves sleepless nights, fear, heartache, and anxiety,not to mention the waste of precious time and energy. If you have to worry, try worrying about something you can do something about, and then do it. Also try this motto: I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Child Custody Issues
During a divorce, child custody issues are often where the negotiations break down. What are your options?
Do you choose of your own free will, or are your choices simply knee-jerk reactions? As human beings we are gifted with free will, which means that we get to consciously choose what is in our best interest. Choice involves thought and consideration. What we choose will impact our lives. Something as simple as what we eat for breakfast, or as complex as the legal agreement for our divorce, all demand our free will, not our emotional reactions. Stop and think carefully before you choose. Do not let your emotions dictate your future.
Parental Alienation Awareness
Parental alienation awareness is critical when there is a shift in your relationship with your child, especially during or after a bitter custody battle. Here are some signs and behaviors to look for.
If you can master this, you are on your way to a new life. What we do to ourselves! We add meaning where there is none, and then we feel miserable. Classic example: Your ex had an affair. You decide that this affair means you are undesirable, unlovable, and a failure-Get it?
Who knows the real reason they cheated. Maybe it's just in their DNA or some unresolved issue from the past, but it doesn't have to mean something negative about you. You have to recognize that it is you and only you who have chosen the meaning attached to the affair. You create the misery for yourself.
The fact is that person had an affair, and the meaning you create is that you are unlovable. That meaning is not factual. Start separating the facts from the meanings. The "meanings" are making you feel terrible, maybe more so than the affair itself!
Reclaim Your Space After Divorce
One of the best things to do after divorce is to reclaim your space so it reflects your new life and honors what is important to you. Here are some tips to help you get started in the bedroom.
These divorce and life insurance tips can help you understand how everything is handled to guarantee that support payments are made in the event that the support spouse dies.
Acceptance is the most important step in divorce recovery. It is imperative that you consciously acknowledge reality for what it is and exactly as it exists. Once you have done that, you need to move into the full acceptance of what is versus what you think should be.
Should-be and could-be and I-want-it-to-be are fantasyland; a totally subjective viewpoint that has nothing to do with what your life actually is today. Should-be is also a clear sign that you have not yet accepted your divorce and are resisting reality. It's akin to not wanting to believe that your child is sick. If you resist the fact of the illness, then you cannot do anything to help your child. You wouldn't do that to your child, so why do it to yourself?
Should-be keeps you stuck in the pain and in the past. When you accept life for what it is, you can then move forward to make powerful choices and decisions on how you plan to live it in the future.
Announcements And Upcoming Events For Women Facing Divorce
Announcements and upcoming events for women facing divorce, as well as those recovering from their divorce. Current events include the Divorce Workshop, and Sandra's fireside chat for recently separated or divorced women ready to re-build their lives.
Budgeting income and expenses during divorce is important when determining the standard of living established during the marriage. Use these tips and budget planning help to tackle the job.
Shelley Stile is a Divorce Recovery Life Coach who works with women as they transition through their divorce to move forward in creating a new and better life.
After remarriage, step parent adoption may be a consideration, especially if the other parent isn't part of your children's lives. Here are some things to think about.