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It's not what happens in life, it's how you handle it
Tip 33 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce Life is always going to throw us curveballs, and divorce is one of the biggest curveballs we will ever face, second only to the death of a loved one in terms of loss. If we accept that life will always present us with fresh challenges, we won't be as upset when they appear. Recognizing the fact that life is continually handing us obstacles to overcome, we can then be more accepting and less likely to be angry or resentful. It's not what life throws our way that determines the quality of our lives, but rather how we choose to handle what life throws our way. Parenting Plan ModificationsChanging circumstances often warrant parenting plan modifications, such as changes in child visitation schedules and parental access. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Parenting Plan Modifications" Facing Your Fears After DivorceAn important part of the divorce recovery process is facing your fears and moving beyond them so that you can begin designing the life that you want to lead. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Facing Your Fears After Divorce" Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth
Tip #28 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce If I had to choose the most powerful tool for personal transformation and ultimate happiness, it would have to be honoring the truth. Setting aside ego and fear and facing the truth allows you to make powerful and lasting changes and choices in life. You cannot fool yourself for that long, and if you do you'll pay a big price. Denial leaves you totally powerless to change. Drop your interpretations, your story, and your drama, and look the truth in the eye. Imagine if you went to a doctor looking for a cure to an illness but you did not tell her all your symptoms. How could she make a diagnosis and help you? The truth will set you free. Legal SeparationLegal separation is the solution when you’re neither married nor divorced. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Legal Separation" Understand the total futility of worrying about what you cannot control or predict.
Tip 25 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce Think about it: We only worry about what might happen, aka the future, whether it's a minute away or a year away. Given the fact that we have no control over the future and cannot even begin to predict what tomorrow holds, exactly what do we accomplish through worry? We cause ourselves sleepless nights, fear, heartache, and anxiety,not to mention the waste of precious time and energy. If you have to worry, try worrying about something you can do something about, and then do it. Also try this motto: I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Child Custody IssuesDuring a divorce, child custody issues are often where the negotiations break down. What are your options? Permalink -- click for full blog post "Child Custody Issues" Are you really making choices?
Tip #24 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce Do you choose of your own free will, or are your choices simply knee-jerk reactions? As human beings we are gifted with free will, which means that we get to consciously choose what is in our best interest. Choice involves thought and consideration. What we choose will impact our lives. Something as simple as what we eat for breakfast, or as complex as the legal agreement for our divorce, all demand our free will, not our emotional reactions. Stop and think carefully before you choose. Do not let your emotions dictate your future. Parental Alienation AwarenessParental alienation awareness is critical when there is a shift in your relationship with your child, especially during or after a bitter custody battle. Here are some signs and behaviors to look for. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Parental Alienation Awareness" Parenting Plan TemplateA parenting plan template to help you make decisions about how you will parent your children now that you are divorcing. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Parenting Plan Template" Accepting Divorce And Moving OnAccepting divorce can be hard, especially if you didn't want it, but acceptance is a critical component to your divorce recovery. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Accepting Divorce And Moving On" Quotes On DivorceThe following quotes on divorce will put a smile on your face, give you perspective, and encourage you during this difficult time. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Quotes On Divorce" Letting Go After DivorceThe reward for letting go after divorce is gaining freedom from your past and moving on to a destiny that is shaped by your choices and desires. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Letting Go After Divorce" Don't add meaning where there is none.
Tip #22 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce If you can master this, you are on your way to a new life. What we do to ourselves! We add meaning where there is none, and then we feel miserable. Classic example: Your ex had an affair. You decide that this affair means you are undesirable, unlovable, and a failure-Get it? Who knows the real reason they cheated. Maybe it's just in their DNA or some unresolved issue from the past, but it doesn't have to mean something negative about you. You have to recognize that it is you and only you who have chosen the meaning attached to the affair. You create the misery for yourself. The fact is that person had an affair, and the meaning you create is that you are unlovable. That meaning is not factual. Start separating the facts from the meanings. The "meanings" are making you feel terrible, maybe more so than the affair itself! Reclaim Your Space After DivorceOne of the best things to do after divorce is to reclaim your space so it reflects your new life and honors what is important to you. Here are some tips to help you get started in the bedroom. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Reclaim Your Space After Divorce" Divorce And Life InsuranceThese divorce and life insurance tips can help you understand how everything is handled to guarantee that support payments are made in the event that the support spouse dies. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Divorce And Life Insurance" Learn to accept reality as it is and not as you think it should be.
Tip #12 from 95 Transformational Tips For Letting Go and Moving On After Your Divorce Acceptance is the most important step in divorce recovery. It is imperative that you consciously acknowledge reality for what it is and exactly as it exists. Once you have done that, you need to move into the full acceptance of what is versus what you think should be. Should-be and could-be and I-want-it-to-be are fantasyland; a totally subjective viewpoint that has nothing to do with what your life actually is today. Should-be is also a clear sign that you have not yet accepted your divorce and are resisting reality. It's akin to not wanting to believe that your child is sick. If you resist the fact of the illness, then you cannot do anything to help your child. You wouldn't do that to your child, so why do it to yourself? Should-be keeps you stuck in the pain and in the past. When you accept life for what it is, you can then move forward to make powerful choices and decisions on how you plan to live it in the future. Announcements And Upcoming Events For Women Facing DivorceAnnouncements and upcoming events for women facing divorce, as well as those recovering from their divorce. Current events include the Divorce Workshop, and Sandra's fireside chat for recently separated or divorced women ready to re-build their lives. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Announcements And Upcoming Events For Women Facing Divorce" Uncovering The Positive Side Of DivorceFinding the positive side of divorce can allow you grow into a great new you as you rebuild your life. Are you ready for a new perspective on divorce? Permalink -- click for full blog post "Uncovering The Positive Side Of Divorce" Free Budget WorksheetsThese printable free budget worksheets can help you determine where you stand and help you. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Free Budget Worksheets" Budgeting Income and Expenses During DivorceBudgeting income and expenses during divorce is important when determining the standard of living established during the marriage. Use these tips and budget planning help to tackle the job. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Budgeting Income and Expenses During Divorce" Your Ex After Divorce – How To Establish BoundariesCutting the emotional ties to your ex after divorce is an important step in starting over, because it allows you to move beyond being an ex-wife. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Your Ex After Divorce – How To Establish Boundaries" Divorce GroundsWhat you claim as the divorce grounds may affect the settlement agreement and alimony. Find out more about the grounds for divorce. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Divorce Grounds" Temporary Child CustodyGetting an order for temporary child custody before your divorce is finalized can help maintain order if things get out of hand. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Temporary Child Custody" Strategies To Save MoneyThe following strategies to save money will help you as you begin to rebuild your life, with tips on budgeting, saving, and investing. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Strategies To Save Money" Shelley Stile - Divorce Recovery ExpertShelley Stile is a Divorce Recovery Life Coach who works with women as they transition through their divorce to move forward in creating a new and better life. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Shelley Stile - Divorce Recovery Expert" Anger Management Following DivorceSuccessfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after your divorce. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Anger Management Following Divorce" Understanding Legal SeparationGetting a legal separation can help you take steps to protect yourself while you are separated and before you divorce. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Understanding Legal Separation" Step Parent AdoptionAfter remarriage, step parent adoption may be a consideration, especially if the other parent isn't part of your children's lives. Here are some things to think about. Permalink -- click for full blog post "Step Parent Adoption" How To File For A Legal SeparationLearn how to file for a legal separation of marriage, as well as how to get separation agreements for your state. Permalink -- click for full blog post "How To File For A Legal Separation" |
