He has no ambition

by Adrienne
(Nebraska)

My marriage of 17 years is about to dissolve because my husband has usually held a job, but doesn't want to consistently go to work. I pay the mortgage, car payment, and the internet. Paul has to come up with the electric bill, car insurance, heating bill and water bill. Paul does usually pay the grocery bill though.

I cannot remember a time when we weren't living from pay check to paycheck and I'm getting so sick of it! I have usually been the one to make sure the bills are paid, whether it by taking the money from him and paying them myself or just using my own money. For example, this month....I used my money to pay his water bill (rather half of what he owed) because he didn't have the money to pay it himself. I already paid the mortgage, car payment and the internet for the month, now I’ve got to pay his bills too?!

This problem has been going on for years...except when he worked for the railroad....but that was short lived. I do have ideas about how to fix our situation, but he refuses to listen or adhere to any of my advice. I have told him, if you don't want to work full time, then let’s sell the house and downsize… I really do not have a problem with that...but no... Absolutely not!

Part of my frustration comes from living away from my family, who I rarely see because I don't have the money.... I want new clothes here and there, but I don't have the money. I am a Licensed Practical Nurse, I've gone to R.N. school, I haven't passed the state boards yet, but I won't be trying anytime soon, because... you guessed it... I simply do not have the 300 dollars to re-take the test.

I have also spent 19 years of my life living in his hometown... Why can't we try to live in my home town for once? The job possibilities would be better for me... but I can't drag him along anyways because he doesn't even have a high school diploma! Nor does he have any desire to get one... And the last reason I want a divorce is he drinks too much... It's not wise to go spend your last twenty dollars on beer if that's all the money you have for the week.