He wanted a separation

by Jennifer
(Modesto)

He had started working in another city and he went out one night with his sister. She and her husband have an open marriage, but he always said he didn't agree with that.

Well any ways, he called me and told me that he wanted a separation because we had grown apart. He had been up the weekend before and showed no sign of feeling this way, and so he sprang this on me a few days ago.

He brought up that we had been married for 3 years with no kids and that he wanted to lose weight and since I hadn't (which killed me) that he felt I was holding him back! And I never told him he couldn't go to the bar or anything. I even told him I could forgive him and work on a drunken mistake, but he said that he made up his mind.

He wanted to separate because he wanted to be able to go out without attachments and he didn't even give me a chance! So I have nothing. I lost my job and we thought with him getting a new one that we would be ok. I stopped my unemployment, so I have no money and no assets. This is good on one hand because then he can’t say it’s his. But I’m so heart-broken and he won’t talk to me and I don't know what to do from here!

I wish I could have someone’s advice maybe that's been through this....

Comments for He wanted a separation

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God knows all
by: Anonymous

Not sure if you believe in God and have faith, but that is what you need right now. Pray for peace and let the love of God encompass you. You deserve to be treated better, and know, we teach people how to treat us. Let go of the idea of compensation and focus on taking care of yourself, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Things seen are temporary, things unseen and eternally. Let him have the house its material, but your emotional, mental and spiritual well-being is critical. Do not give him any more control; turn your will and life over to God. I’m praying for your strength.

We have been living apart
by: Anonymous

We separated 2 years after marriage and have been living in separate states and have never slept in the same house since separation.

Heart Broken too
by: Anonymous

My Husband of 10 years told me in October that he wanted a separation. A week later he said he wanted divorce. In May we wrote each other letters saying what our issues were in the marriage. I told him that I did not like him being aggravated all the time. I understood him working all day, having school work, and trying to start a business was stressful. But I needed some of his time and I did not want to be yelled at for a messy house or anything else. I was working too and we have 3 kids. He said he wanted a more organized house, someone who would push him in the right directions trying to start up the business, and to try to find new things we like to do together since a lot of the old things we use to do he did not like anymore. He told me in the same letter that he loved me and would never leave. His reasons for divorce kept changing. One minute it was me that I was the one who made him the angry person it was, the other minute it was because he cannot show emotion for me anymore. But he kept saying he did not leave me for another woman.

But I’m finding out now that the day he left he started dating a woman who had moved to the area in July. This woman is 10 years older than him and is married in an open marriage. I never thought our marriage was one that could not be fixed. I was heartbroken and cried for several months. I still have bad days and still can't put my finger on exactly what the real reason for him leaving is. He had a lot of failures in starting up business in the last year before the separation and had never met his professional goals in life. I always believed he was just stressed and depressed because of those issues and he tried to make himself believe that by changing everything including leaving me it would fix everything. He barely sees the girls and never filed one piece of paperwork for the divorce I have to do that now. It still hurts to think about everything and I feel so alone.

I'm in the same boat
by: Anonymous

My husband never touched me, was always criticizing me, and drank too much. I loved him with all my life and after three years of painful separation, things now are turning nasty.

My marriage was my life and he never deeply fulfilled the role as a husband. He works hard but I never knew why he let me go so easily. He said he tried with us, but I believe that if you truly love someone you would do anything to keep that person. He has taken my life from me and I want to hurt him for having to rebuild it all.

He still has the house and our friends and replaced me with another woman. Please help. I want at least one of the two houses he has. I want the house because I feel he has wasted my life, did not give me children or stability. He keeps hurting me and he does not care or doesn’t have any respect for me. I am 42 and having to start again. Please help please I’m desperate, alone, and lonely.

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