Divorce has a way of shattering much of the structure that defined your life, leaving you longing for what once was. But instead of looking backwards, you can choose to begin a transformation after divorce, discovering what you want your life to be like moving forward. You have the freedom to become whatever you want without being held-back by someone else. If you are ready to embrace the next chapter in your life, the following tips can help you get started.
By Pamela Savino
Tragedies come in many forms throughout our lives, from worldwide pandemics to personal losses, and everything in between. Divorce is in the mix of what society considers to be a tragedy.
However, we have the license to process divorce, and any other challenging experience in our lives, in a transformative light if we let our soul lead the way. When we ride the waves of transformation and surrender to the direction the waves are taking us, we open ourselves up to the infinite number of possibilities the universe has in store. This includes discovering our authentic purpose.
I remember when I started announcing my divorce to other people, the most common response was unequivocally, “Oh no, I’m sorry.”
Why? Because we’re conditioned to see divorce through the lens of disappointment, failure, and defeat.
I’d quickly shift into consolation mode, because I was experiencing divorce through different lenses. I saw transformation and appreciation. I saw my purpose.
One of my favorite phrases is an old Buddhist saying - “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Wherever we experience pain, we can rise to the occasion and choose to move out of that pain, into a place of power. If we choose not to, we will remain stuck in a place of suffering.
Such radical transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen without a ton of heavy lifting. It happens when you commit to your healing and make the choice that moves you forward in each moment.
The journey from tragedy to authentic purpose is highly individual and is propelled by deep introspective soul work. While no two journeys look alike, considering the following will go a long way in ushering you to your life’s work.
We don’t always get to choose what happens in our life, but we absolutely always get to choose the way in which we show up.
We can either show up as the victim and say things like, “Why me? Why did I have such bad luck? Why does everyone else have it easier? I can never catch a break?” Or, we can show up as the hero, and ask ourselves questions like, “What can I learn from this? How can this experience make me a better person? What would my highest self do? How can I show love?”
We can always reframe our life experiences and view them as growth opportunities.
Make peace with where you are. Flow with the direction life is taking you. Release resistance. Process life as it is, not as you thought it should be. Don’t look back and wish you were still living in the past. Resist the urge to compare yourself to other people. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.
People generally don’t just wake up one day and declare, “This is the day I’m going to step into my purpose.” It’s generally a rock-bottom, super challenging life event that causes them to make a huge shift.
The universe loves conspiring with a soul that is working toward a cause that benefits the greater good. Trust that the universe will always put the right people and experiences in your path. Understand that when you’re doing something that adds value to the world, you’ll experience ease and an organic feeling. Show up every day with the intention of healing yourself and others, and the universe will illuminate the path as you walk. There is no need to have it all figured out. Walk by faith.
We are on this earth to grow and transform and to play a role in moving humanity forward. Our most profound tragedies are the occasions that expose areas that need healing and are precisely the catalysts needed to shake us up and push us into greater endeavors. Our lives play out according to the choices we make on a moment to moment basis. Start today with making the choice that moves you, and humanity, forward.
Pamela Savino is a spiritual-led entrepreneur, life coach, mother, and author of “SOAR”, a book about reframing your divorce as a growth opportunity. She understands that all life experiences, whether joyful or challenging, can be highly transformative and act as a catalyst for creating a future more in line with one’s true selves. Pamela’s mission is to help people embrace their authentic self, partner with the Universe, and claim their personal power. You can find out more about Pamela on her Live Authentically website, where you can access her podcast and learn about her coaching services. You can also follow Pamela on Facebook.