Your first serious relationship after divorce can be like a breath of fresh air. After going through all the negativity prior to your divorce (not to mention what happened during the divorce), it's easy for a woman to lose faith in the male gender.
Eventually, the hurt eases and you begin to notice your surroundings, maybe even begin to think about dating again. During this phase, you may meet someone special who makes you feel valued and important. While it may be scary, enjoy your first relationship after divorce. It can help in healing your heart. Below is an article that discusses finding love after divorce.
One of the most important steps in rebuilding your life after divorce is to start dating. It'll be hard, but the sooner you starting dating, the easier it will be for you to regain your emotional well-being.
At first, even though you may have to force yourself, you should just go out and associate with other people. See for yourself that other people don't "immediately recognize you" as a divorced woman, a loser or a failure.
In the course of recovering from a painful divorce, you may also discover that it is not unusual for a woman to go through a number of brief sexual affairs. See, there's always an upside!
With some, there's a flurry of sexual activity, followed by periods of celibacy - and maybe a "special steady" for a while. This kind of activity is sometimes necessary, and is definitely a part of the healing process as some women rebuild their self-esteem.
Almost all people who have gone through a divorce go through at least one transitional partner during their healing process. This is a person that seems to be the answer to all your dreams. They're the "special boyfriends" that eases a divorced woman through the trauma - they're good to them; they listen to them; they're sensitive to their needs but never demanding; and they fulfill their sexual hunger.
It's great to "find" such a transitional partner, but be aware of your own situation and their place in your life, and don't allow yourself to end up marrying them. You may care about them a great deal, and feel sure that they're the answer to all your dreams - that they have all the love you could ever ask for - but don't marry them - what you're feeling is only the peace of an oasis in the middle of a desert.
Some people are born to nurture others back to good health; to see you on your feet again and on your way to real happiness. Then too, who's to say that you won't someday be a transitional partner for someone who's hurting just as you once did...
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Article by Barry Roche, former Family Law Specialist and author of "How To "Win" When Facing Divorce".
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