Finding The Positive Side of Divorce

Finding the positive side of divorce is not always easy, especially when you feel like you've been run over by a Mack truck. But the truth is divorce gives us the opportunity to start over again more intelligently. Plus, when you look for the positive in a situation, it's a lot easier to accept what life hands you.

You Can't Always get What You Want, but You Get What You Need

Quote on finding the courage to let go of what you can't change

By Shelley Stile

The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need… that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, what we actually might be gifted with is the situation in which to manifest that gift.

All too often, we don't recognize the opportunities in life. We see obstacles instead of openings. Divorce is a perfect example of hidden opportunities. At first we cannot see the forest through the trees. We are in pain and our perspective or outlook is very limited. We don't realize that our divorce has many gifts or opportunities for growth. They are hidden from view but the challenges that lay before us are actually chances to become the person we were always meant to be.

Take Alice. Her marriage was not a happy one but she ignored all the signs along the way. She did not want to have to confront what was happening: she was in denial. She had always allowed her husband a great amount of freedom because she found it difficult to stand up for herself. She lacked self-esteem and she brought this to her marriage.

When her marriage fell apart, she was devastated and claimed she could not understand what had happened. After working together, she was able to face the fact that she had been an enabler of her husband's behavior. By not standing up for herself, she gave him a green light to do whatever he wanted. In addition, by refusing to confront the reality of her marriage, she failed to do take the necessary actions that might have changed the situation for the better. Seeing the truth she now chose to take responsibility for herself and her life.

Alice decided to use her divorce as a catalyst for the changes that would give her the life she wanted and deserved. She chose to see that her divorce was the perfect opportunity to develop self-esteem, confidence and strength. She began to see that perhaps, just perhaps, her divorce was exactly what she needed in order to become what she truly wanted. She had suffered as a result of her low self-esteem and now she found herself in the perfect place to cultivate that trait.

What are you seeking? What do you need? Look around. Is your situation right now a springboard towards what you really want? Remember that you might not get exactly what you asked or prayed for but if you look hard enough, you will see that you may have been gifted with the opportunity to create the things that you so desire.

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