Getting Child Support in Divorce

By Tracy Achen, Divorce Coach 

Getting child support established during a separation or divorce is important. After all, both parents have a responsibility to support their children. Unfortunately, this is a sore point for many parents who have to pay child support.

What these parents need to realize is that the purpose of child support is to maintain their children's standard of living when their marriage ends. Child support is meant to help pay for the expenses associated with:

  • housing and food, 
  • clothing and school supplies, 
  • medical care, and  
  • childcare 

Child support is not a form of punishment for the paying parent, nor is it a free ride for the receiving parent. It's about doing what's best for the children.

Getting a Child Support Order

Family court document for getting child support

Child support is typically ordered when there's a custodial parent and a non-custodial parent, with the non-custodial parent generally paying child support. In shared custody situations, the parent with the higher income may still be required to pay child support, especially if there's a significant difference in each parent's income. 

Often, a child support agreement will be included as part of your divorce petition and paperwork. It can also be included with the paperwork for parents who are getting a legal separation. And unmarried parents may also submit their own child support agreement to the court.

Some parents verbally agree on child support without filing any paperwork, but what happens if the non-custodial parent doesn't pay what was agreed upon? Courts don't recognize verbal agreements and won't enforce them. Which means you have no recourse if your ex decides to quit paying.

To make support payments enforceable, you need a child support order that is filed with the court stating when, how often, and how much support will be paid. If you have a lawyer, they’ll usually help you request it in the divorce or separation paperwork. If not, your local court website can guide you through the process. You can also file separately through your state’s child support enforcement agency if child support wasn't previously addressed.

It's important to note that the court will need to approve the child support agreement to make sure it complies with your state's child support guidelines. Once it is approved and filed by the court, it becomes an enforceable child support order. 

How is Child Support Calculated?

Each state has specific child support guidelines which are used to calculate the amount of child support which will be ordered in individual cases. Generally, these guidelines take into consideration:

  • the number of children from the marriage to be supported, 
  • how many overnights the child spends with each parent,
  • dependents of either parent from previous relationships,
  • the income of one or both parents, 
  • the basic needs of the child, 
  • health insurance and daycare costs, and 
  • any extraordinary medical expenses. 

Since each state uses a different child support formula, you can use the child support calculators found in the state divorce resources to estimate the amount of support that would be ordered in your situation.

Your lawyer should also include a support calculation table when drawing up your divorce or separation papers, as well as provisions for registering with the State Child Support Division.

How are Child Support Payments Made?

Beginning in 1994, the Family Support Act mandated states to require wage withholding for all child support orders. Exceptions will only be granted if there is a good cause or both parties agree in writing to an alternative arrangement.

To be effective, the wage assignment order must be served on the employer of the non-custodial parent before payments can start.  This order will direct your ex’s employer to deduct the child support from his earnings and make payments to you or to the child support enforcement division.

Support payments may either be paid directly to the custodial parent or indirectly through a court ordered program. It is becoming more common for payments to be made to court ordered programs for ease of enforcement, as it provides proof of payments that have been received and any arrearages that have occurred.

Getting Child Support Enforced

So what can you do if you aren't getting child support payments from your ex? If support was to be paid directly to you, you will need to go back to the court that established the order and file paperwork to enforce the order. This article on using a motion for contempt to enforce child support provides more information.

If the payments were to be made to your state child support collection agency, you need to talk to the agency. Federal law requires that states make their child support enforcement services available to any person requesting it. If you need help in getting child support and enforcing support orders, you can locate the Child Support Enforcement Agency for your state at the Main Child Support Enforcement Website.

To begin the enforcement process, the child support enforcement agency will need a copy of your support order, your ex's name, home and work addresses, and his social security number. They can then enforce the child support orders through various means such as:

  • wage withholding,
  • intercepting tax refunds,
  • reporting delinquencies to the credit bureaus,
  • suspending or revoking driver's, professional, or occupational licenses,
  • filing liens against bank accounts, property, or settlements,
  • passport denial,
  • court fines or jail time.

Another option for getting child support from a delinquent parent is to hire an outside collection agency. Child support collection agencies offer an alternative to existing government programs and private attorneys, and have a very successful collection rate. Most don't charge an initial fee, but instead collect a percentage of the support that is actually paid. 

FAQs about Getting Child Support in Divorce

What if the father is unemployed or under-reporting income?
The court can assign the income amount used in the support calculation based on earning potential - not just current wages.

What if he lives in another state?
States work together to enforce child support orders. It may take longer, but the child support should be collected.

Do you need a lawyer to get child support?
Not necessarily. Free legal aid is also available in many areas if you can’t afford a lawyer. If you're doing your own uncontested divorce, the child support documents are often included in the paperwork package. You can also check your state's family court self-help website for information and forms on how to file for child support.

Can I get child support after divorce?
If you're already divorced, your local child support enforcement agency can help you file for child support, modify an existing order, or enforce support payments. You can also hire a lawyer to file the required paperwork for you if this wasn't addressed in your divorce.

Final Thoughts

Getting child support isn’t about "asking for help" - it’s about making sure your children get what they’re legally entitled to. You’re doing the hard work of parenting, and financial support is part of that picture. So take a deep breath, start the process, and know that you have every right to request child support.

Keep reading for more tips and information on the various issues concerning child support: