Alcohol and adultery
(Staten Island, NY)
My husband's issues with alcohol and adultery has torn our marriage apart. You see, he met a woman at work who made him feel young and made him laugh. This same woman confronted me publicly and said they were in love and wanted to be together. My husband told me she was the most important person in his life and he didn't give a damn about me. She left her husband, found an apartment for them, and I asked him to leave.
After 25 years of looking after and caring for him... this was what I got. They spend a lot of time drinking (he is 72 and she is 54). We are not divorced but legally separated and this situation has been going on for 4 years.
Do I want reconciliation... sometimes yes, sometimes no. We get along well. I have discovered he is not the money manager I thought him to be… I found he had lots of debt...which I have paid off. The woman has no children, but does have a physical deformity... I believe to be a defect from an alcoholic mother.
I did have a good marriage. We worked hard, played together and laughter together. I do have a hard time coming to terms with all that has happened even after 4 years. They now live within walking distance of my home and her husband's. I do believe she and her husband have not divorced. What to do?