Using Online Couples Counseling to Save Your Marriage

updated by Tracy Achen 

Some people might find it odd that a divorce site would discuss something like online couples counseling. But the fact is, not everyone facing divorce wants their marriage to end. And there's a good possibility that many want to save their marriage if there's a chance.

There are a variety of reasons people consider getting a divorce: lack of intimacy, poor communication, spiteful behavior, and extramarital affairs are a few of the common ones. These are all symptoms of a bigger problem, but couples often focus on these symptoms as the main problem - the unresolvable issue that leads them to seek a divorce.

Divorce should always be a last resort. Before choosing to end your marriage, you need to

• identify the main problems affecting your marriage that are causing these symptoms, and 
• make sure there is no good way to resolve these problems.

This is why marriage counseling is vital. It will help you and your partner look past the symptoms and identify the core, underlying problem. Once you know the problem, you'll know if it is solvable. If it isn't, then divorce is probably the right option.

When it comes to choosing a marriage counselor, you can seek the services of a therapist in your area or use online couples counseling. For this article, we’ll discuss online counseling.

Online Marriage Counseling: Benefits, Costs & What to Expect

Is online marriage counseling effective?

Online marriage counseling can be as effective as in-person couples counseling according to a Frontiers in Psychology study done on couples therapy delivered through videoconferencing. Online marriage counseling is a viable option for couples seeking to resolve their marital issues, especially when they don't have access to those types of services in their area.

Many people who participate in online therapy also like that it fits into their schedule better, especially if they don't have to take time off from work. Another benefit of online couples therapy is that it removes the stigma of possibly being seen by friends or family at a marriage counselor's office. It's a way of protecting your privacy.

Having said all that, for any type of marriage counseling to work, both spouses need to be on the same page about saving the marriage. If one spouse is living a separate life (or is already involved in another romantic relationship), the chances of marriage counseling being successful go way down.

How is online counseling different from in-person counseling?

Both can be effective forms of marriage counseling. The main difference is how the sessions are conducted, either online or in person.

Online counseling offers greater convenience and flexibility, while in-person counseling provides face-to-face interaction in a therapist's office. Overall, online counseling can be just as effective as in-person counseling, especially when both spouses are committed to the process.

During in-person counseling, a therapist is able to pick up on each spouse's nonverbal cues and body language, providing insights into the couple's relationship dynamics. During online counseling, the therapist has to depend on verbal communication, which makes it hard to read the nonverbal cues.

In some areas, internet connectivity issues can be an issue if it interrupts counseling sessions. And some people find it hard to truly engage when participating in online counseling. This could be due to distractions, such as dogs barking or phones ringing. During in-person counseling, these types of things aren't an issue.

What types of relationship issues can counseling help with?

Online counseling can help a couple address problems in the relationship such as:

• Trouble communicating 
• Frequent arguments that are never settled 
• Dealing with trust issues due to infidelity 
• Conflicts over different parenting styles 
• Issues with emotional connection and intimacy 
• Financial disagreements

If you're not ready to give up on your marriage, couples counseling can help you work through your conflicts.  But it's important to note that counseling will not be effective when one spouse refuses to participate, whether online or in person. 

While counseling can help couples experiencing relationship distress, there are limits. If there is ongoing domestic violence, threatening behavior, or other safety concerns, specialized support resources or emergency services should be contacted. 

Where can I Find Online Couples Counseling? 

Too often, couples settle on a counselor closest to their location, who may or may not be the best fit for their situation. Most online counseling platforms help ensure you end up with the counselor who has trained their whole career to help you with what you're struggling with the most. If you don't click with your counselor for some reason, you can request a new one. 

Some of the better-know online therapy services include:

• Online-Therapy.com
• Talkspace 
• OurRitual
• Regain 
• Our Relationship
• E-Therapy Cafe

These online counseling platforms allow you and your spouse to talk with a licensed professional counselor from the comfort of your home by video, phone or direct messaging.

When you sign up for one of the counseling services, you'll generally be asked a series of questions to help their system understand what you are struggling with. The platform will then analyze your answers and match you and your partner with a counselor best-suited to meet the needs of your relationship.

Once you and your partner sign up, you'll be taken to a dashboard shared with both of you and your counselor. Here you both can message your counselor as often as you want, and they usually respond within a few hours. You'll also be able to schedule weekly sessions which are conducted via phone call, live chat or video chat.

How much does online marriage counseling cost?

Online couples counseling services usually cost between $60 to $200 per session depending on the platform, the therapist's experience, and session length. Some platforms and providers charge per session, while others offer subscription-based services.

It's important to note that marriage counseling usually isn't covered by insurance, so you'll likely have to pay for it out of your own pocket. Having said that, it doesn't hurt to check your insurance policy to find out if you can be reimbursed for the counseling sessions. 

Here are the prices for the online counseling services mentioned above:

• Online-Therapy: $96-$120/ week 
• Talkspace: $69 to $109/week and covered by some insurance plans 
• OurRitual: $60 to $78/week depending on the package 
• Regain: $70-$100/week 
• Our Relationship: from $99 to $249 for six months 
• E-Therapy Cafe: $55 - $65/session

To put these prices into perspective, the average cost of a single in-person counseling session in the United States is $100-$300, depending on location and the counselor's qualifications and experience.

What should we expect during online counseling sessions?

The first session will typically focus on understanding your relationship history, identifying your concerns, discussing goals for your relationship, and developing a treatment plan tailored to your needs. Your therapist may also ask about your communication patterns and what you consider to be the strong points in your relationship.

After the initial assessment, weekly sessions will then be scheduled for the couple. A typical session usually lasts around 45-60 minutes.

During counseling sessions, the therapist may provide tools and strategies to help you and your spouse improve communication. You may also be given "homework" to complete in between sessions that reinforces what was discussed.

As progress is made, appointments may be scheduled less frequently based on the therapist's recommendations and the couple's needs.

Frequently Asked Questions

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Related:

• I Don't Want A Divorce - Input from the Life Coach
• Can Having a Baby Save a Marriage? 
• Counseling for Emotional Divorce Support