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I Can't Afford A Divorce


 

Many people feel that they simply can't afford a divorce because they don't have any savings and can't afford to hire a lawyer.  

There are ways to get a divorce, even if your funds are limited. You can use legal aid services or pro bono lawyers. There are other options as explained by the legal expert below:

Topic: He controls all the money. What can I do?

Erin's Question:  I have been married for 13 years, and am the mother of 4 kids under 12. I have no money and my financial situation has been controlled and destroyed by my husband for many years.  Please let me know what I can do, or where I can go.

Brette's Answer:  There are a few ways to approach this. You can go see an attorney for a free consultation, then work out how you will find the money to pay for representation. You may be able to have attorney's fees paid by your husband.  You can also call your local bar association and ask what free legal services are available in your area.  Another option is to start custody and support proceedings in family court yourself without an attorney. This will allow you to receive some money on a regular basis from your spouse while you determine how you will file for a divorce. A third choice is to find out if your state has a self-help packet for divorce you could do on your own. Good luck.  » Return to top

Topic: Are there any services that offer free divorces?

Alexis' Question:  After being married for three years to an abusive man, I moved out. He owned everything, and I am left with no money or job and living with my parents again. Is there any services that offer free divorces?

Brette's Answer:  Call your local bar association and ask them to refer you to a low cost or no cost legal services program in your area. You could also obtain the pro se (which means "representing yourself") packet from your court and handle the divorce yourself. This works best if you are able to agree on how to divide your assets and debts.  » Return to top

Is there such a thing as a hardship divorce?

Brooke's Question: I need to obtain a divorce, but have no money to pay a lawyer. Is there such a thing as a hardship divorce?

Brette's Answer:  There are a few options. You can represent yourself and file for a divorce yourself. You can access forms through the state court web site or at the court clerk's office. These should include a form to have fees waived due to financial circumstances. You fill out documents about your financial situation and ask the court to waive the fees. You can also ask that your spouse be required to pay the fees. Talk to the county clerk. Good luck.

I can't afford a lawyer and I don't qualify for legal aid.

Gloria's Question: I am 55 years old, disabled, and need a lawyer for a divorce. The problem is I can't afford a lawyer and legal aid can't help. I have been trying to find a Pro Bono lawyer in my area but haven't been able to. Is there help for women who can't afford a lawyer?

Brette's Answer:  I am so sorry to hear about your situation and unfortunately it is a common one. There are many, many, many people who do not have the resources to pay an attorney yet do not qualify for legal aid. Call your local or state bar association and ask if there is a volunteer lawyer program in your area. It is very common for attorney to donate a certain amount of their time to a local agency such as this and provide services for those who cannot afford them. If no such program exists, find out who the chair of the matrimonial or family law committee is on the local or state bar and call him or her up and ask if there are any local attorneys available to help people in your kind of situation. If all else fails, you may be able to find someone who can help you work out a payment plan.  » Return to top

How can I get help filling out the divorce papers?

Holly's Question: I could not afford an attorney, therefore I am filling out divorce papers myself. I didn't realize the task would be so challenging on just filling out papers. I have no idea what to or how to fill these papers out. Can you help me please?

Brette's Answer:  Check your state court web site. Many states have tutorials or information about how to complete the forms. If that doesn't work, you could consider hiring a paralegal service to help you. They cost much less than an attorney. Good luck.

Can I take money out of a joint account before I move out?

Kathy's Question: I want a divorce from my husband, but I have no income. My husband and I have money in the bank. Can I legally withdraw one half of the balance before I move out? He's going to fight me on the divorce and this is the only way I know to get the money for legal fees.

Brette's Answer:  It is generally considered acceptable to withdraw half of the funds in a joint account when separating. Good luck.   » Return to top

Selling Property Before Filing For Divorce

Shannon's Question:  My husband and I are separated. Can I sell assets, since there has been no divorce filed for?  Everything we own is in my name, but acquired during the marriage.  Before I file for divorce, can I sell any of these assets to pay for the attorney?

Brette's Answer:  Anything you sell would be a marital asset and subject to division. Your attorney would advise you first that you shouldn't sell anything until you have some kind of agreement, and that if you do, you should put the money into a bank account where you don't touch it during the proceedings. However, if you have no other way to pay for an attorney, it would be reasonable to use your portion of those assets to pay for one.  » Return to top

Selling Personal Property Before Filing For Divorce

Heather's Question: We have not filed for divorce yet. But I need some money to pay for the proceedings. Can I take my guns from the house to sell them for the money?

Brette's Answer:  If this is your separate property that you owned before marriage, absolutely. If it was acquired during marriage, it is a marital asset. That doesn't mean you can't sell it, but it does mean that it is likely the value of the items would be deducted from your portion of the remaining property as it is distributed.

Should I get a joint credit card to help pay bills?

Leigh's Question:  My husband has financially cut me off, and my sister told me that I should take a credit card out in both of our names so that I can pay for my expenses.  I feel this is wrong, but I also feel that he has left me no other choice.  How will this look if he takes me to court, and what other options do I have?

Brette's Answer:  You can go to court and get temporary spousal and child support which will help you pay your bills. It's also likely the court will order your husband to pay your legal bills. I would not recommend doing anything fraudulent or illegal. Applying for credit in his name would be. » Return to top

Doesn't he have to pay my legal fees if he files for divorce?

Christine's Question: If my husband petitions of the divorce does that mean he pays for my legal expenses as well?

Brette's Answer:  No not at all. It's possible to request that, but it usually only happens in cases where there is a large financial disparity between the parties or one spouse has done something particularly egregious.

Topic: How To Survive When A Divorce Goes On Forever

Betty's Question: I am 62 and going through a divorce for over a year now.  When it started, I had no money because he controlled the finances and I had to use a pro bono lawyer.  As it stands, I am living on $430 a month, while he takes trips to Hawaii and buys a new car.  His attorney keeps postponing the court date, and I'm having a hard time surviving.  Is there anything I can do to get this to change?

Brette's Answer:  Your attorney should seek an emergency temporary order of spousal support. There is no excuse for this and you should ask that it be done immediately. Good luck. » Return to top

His lawyer won't send me the papers to sign until he's paid.

Kristen's Question: Our split was a mutual decision and we have no children or assets together, so we had originally planned simply to file paperwork down at the courthouse without lawyers. After meeting someone and getting engaged, my ex felt that hiring a lawyer to handle it would be more efficient than doing it ourselves. Seven months later, he is refusing to pay his lawyer, and his lawyer has said that he won't send me any final papers to sign until he's paid. I really don't want to get stuck paying an $800 bill. Do I have any recourse?

Brette's Answer:  You're not responsible for paying his attorney, he is. You can go to the courthouse and find out where the case is at and handle it yourself from this point on.

Related Articles:
Preparing For A Divorce
How To Save On the Cost of a Divorce
Minimizing The Cost of Divorce
Can You Afford Divorce in Hard Times?
Also see:
More questions and answers
Ask the Legal Expert a question

Brette Sember is a former family and matrimonial attorney and mediator, nationally recognized expert, and author of many books including The Divorce Organizer & Planner, No-Fight Divorce, and How To Parent With Your Ex. For more information about Brette, see www.BretteSember.com.

This column provides general information about the various aspects of divorce.  It is not intended to take the place of legal counsel and should not be considered personal legal advice.  For specific recommendations concerning your situation, please retain experienced legal counsel.  WomansDivorce.com and Brette Sember disclaim any liability from any claim arising from any information contained in this column. This column is not a substitute for legal advice.

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