Have you ever wondered "Should I stay married or should I
divorce"? You are not alone. Troubles in a marriage
easily prompt these kind of questions. The article below will
help you sort out your feelings.
Reality Check
Before moving on with what you need to know about divorce, the next few paragraphs
will ask you to look before you leap if you find yourself wanting out of your
marriage. Choosing to divorce might ultimately be your
decision, but it should be one made in a state of calm with little doubt and few
regrets.
When someone approaches me and says he or she wants a divorce, my first
reaction is to say, "Are you sure?" Decisions made in haste can take
on lives of their own, and before you know it, there may be no turning back to
save your marriage. Deep down we all know when we are at peace with the
decisions we've made- big and small. Sometimes we listen to our gut and
sometimes we don't.
When we make decisions and take action while our doubt
mechanism is in full gear, we know we will eventually pay for it. To avoid this
scenario, respect the little voice inside you, if it says "wait."
Your
gut instinct is asking you to reevaluate the situation before making your
decision. Before making this significant change in your life take a good look at
yourself and your concept of marriage.
When you're looking at the choice to
divorce, forget all about the idea of the romantic fairy tale. It's time to take
a good look at marriage and understand what it really takes to make this type of
partnership work. Depending on how realistic and honest you are when evaluating
your situation, when it comes to a divorce, you may find that the grass may not
always be greener on the other side. For a good dose of reality, sit down and
write out a pro and con list of staying married vs. the realities of divorce and
being single.
Consider the following: children, your career status and ability
to make money, finances, life style changes, cost of divorce, being single again
and the threat of sexually transmitted diseases once you're back on the dating
circuit. (You may be thinking, "I never want to date again, but trust me, you
will.)
Consider the following:
Have you gone to marriage counseling?
Have you and your spouse taken
the time to talk and isolate the real problems of the marriage?
Do you really
listen to each other or just nag, complain and tune out?
How well do you
compromise and try to find time for enjoying quality time together?
How productive or destructive are your methods of fighting?
Do you kiss and make
up without holding grudges?
Are you teammates working toward the same goals?
Are you both willing to work on your issues together?
Writing out the answers to these questions will help guide you in making an
educated, rational decision. Divorce is difficult, but it might be your best
option and worth the temporary discomfort of transitioning into a new life.
The
process of honest evaluation will help you experience more peace and have fewer
doubts regardless of your decision.
Article by Amy Botwinick, author of "Congratulations on Your Divorce :
The Road To Finding Your Happily Ever After", a book designed
to help guide you through the treacherous paths of
divorce and into a life of renewed joy. For more inspirational
articles, visit the website at
TodaysDivorcedWoman.
If you're still wondering "Should I divorce?", you might
consider trying to save your marriage. Save My Marriage Today!
will give you tips on how to repair your relationship and exercises
to help get marriage back on track. You
can also check out the following articles for more helpful tips:
Quote of the Day
Truth is all around you; what matters is where you put your focus
- Roger Von Oech