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Divorce Settlement Questions

Below are some of the common divorce settlement questions that often arise when people are going through a divorce.  As you read through the responses from the legal advisor, you can gain insight into your own situation.  

Would a verbal settlement agreement be enforceable?

Trish's Question: My husband wants to have shared physical and legal custody of 2 children. He wants me to waive the support on the court forms and promises to pay me 400 a month. What can I do if I agree to this and he doesn't pay?

Brette's Answer:  Never, ever make any monetary agreement outside of your settlement papers. It is not enforceable.

Reviewing Settlement Documents Prior To Signing

Branwig's Question:  Should I get a lawyer to review the settlement documents my husband filled out?

Brette's Answer:  Most definitely. It is always wise to have an attorney review settlement documents before signing them. » Return to top

Do I have to pay taxes on the divorce settlement?

Maxine's Question: My husband has offered me cash settlement in our divorce.  Do I have to pay taxes on this settlement, and is he going to claim it on his income tax. If this is taxable, is there any way around it?

Brette's Answer:  You need to discuss the entire settlement offer with your attorney, to make sure it is fair but also to minimize the tax impact. A property settlement is not taxable, but an alimony settlement is. It is very important how the settlement is described in the papers. You need an attorney to handle this for you. » Return to top

The proposed changes aren't what we agreed to.

Sally's Question:  The opposing side is wanting my attorney to redraft the final papers.  I've seen the changes and the are very unfair and not what was agreed upon in court for final hearing. Can they get away with that? Do I have to sign? I will refuse.

Brette's Answer:  You need to have a conversation with your attorney about what exactly the changes are. If they do not match what was agreed upon, you should be clear that you won't sign them. Be certain though of what you agreed to.
» Return to top

Changing the Settlement Agreement

Laurie's Question: I'm in the divorce process.  My husband has a lawyer, but I couldn't afford one.  He's taking the house, his stocks, pensions, and doesn't want me to have anything.  He even wants joint custody without having to pay child support.  I signed the divorce decree already, but it's not fair.  Will the judge still have the final say, or is it too late because I signed the papers?

Brette's Answer:  If the decree has been issued, the case is over. However, if you signed a settlement or stipulation, you should be able to revoke it and tell the judge you won't agree to the terms. You should call your local bar association and find out about free legal services. You might also want to get a free consultation with an attorney because very often the moneyed spouse can be ordered to pay the attorney's fees for the non-moneyed spouse.  » Return to top

How do we change the settlement agreement?

Vea's Question: I am pro se in my divorce, and my husband has an attorney. We settled our divorce and signed a contract stating that all issues are settled. Now his attorney is saying she forgot to address the tax exemption and she wants to change it to allow him to claim one of the children. We did not mention this issue at all during our mediation so that section was crossed out.  Do I have to break the binding agreement to allow her to change the tax exemption? 

Brette's Answer:  You can simply amend the settlement.

Does my ex have to comply with the divorce agreement?

Sandra's Question: Will my ex have to do everything he agreed to on the divorce papers?

Brette's Answer:  Yes, a divorce is a court ordered judgment. Failure to comply results in contempt of court. » Return to top

Can a settlement agreement be changed if we didn't use a lawyer?

Maureen's Question: I made several big mistakes filing for divorce. First, we did are own papers without lawyers or appearing in court. I took my student loan debt (which we were married 1/2 way through my schooling) and a car loan. We had other debt that we did not add into papers. These were collection debts he said he would pay. There is nothing in divorce papers other then the two debts I took. He is now suing me for 1/2 of the debt he verbally promised to pay. Since we filed the papers on our own and many mistakes were made, is there any thing I can do?

Brette's Answer:  The problem is that most divorce settlements state that the written agreement is the entire and complete agreement of the parties. I think you should consult an attorney to see if there is any wiggle room in the papers you filed.  » Return to top

Related Articles:
Divorce Settlement Mistakes
Divorce Settlement Negotiation Strategies

Also see:
More questions and answers
Ask the Legal Expert a question

Brette Sember is a former family and matrimonial attorney and mediator, nationally recognized expert, and author of many books including The Divorce Organizer & Planner, No-Fight Divorce, and How To Parent With Your Ex. For more information about Brette, see www.BretteSember.com.

This column provides general information about the various aspects of divorce.  It is not intended to take the place of legal counsel and should not be considered personal legal advice.  For specific recommendations concerning your situation, please retain experienced legal counsel.  WomansDivorce.com and Brette Sember disclaim any liability from any claim arising from any information contained in this column. This column is not a substitute for legal advice.

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