Are there visitation guidelines for a sick
child? Generally, this is an issue that is not addressed by
the court, but rather by the common sense of the child's
parents. The following article discusses how to handle the
situation.
In Sickness and In Health By Brette Sember
One thing you can count on when
you are a parent is that your child will get sick. There's simply no avoiding
it. But when you're sharing parenting time with your ex, childhood illnesses can
play havoc with your schedules. Follow these tips for preserving your mental
health when your child's physical health is on the wane.
Share parenting of a sick child.
When your child is sick with a minor
illness, your parenting instincts kick in and you may want to nurse him or her
back to health yourself. It's natural to feel protective when your child is
sick, but the other parent can provide adequate care as well. Your child can lie
on the couch with a box of tissues at the other parent's house as well as at
yours. Caring for a sick child is an important part of the parenting process, so
give the other parent that opportunity. As long as your child is mobile and not
seriously ill, stick to the visitation schedule as much as possible.
Allow access.
If your child needs to be in bed, is vomiting, or is just too
sick to get up and go anywhere, that doesn't mean the other parent should be
shut out. Your child may not be able to go to the other parents' house, but that
doesn't mean the other parent can't come by for a short visit. Allow them some
time alone together, even if it just for the other parent to sit by the bed and
hold the child's hand while he sleeps.
Pinch hit for each other when possible.
Kids seem to always get sick at the
most inconvenient times. If you have an important meeting scheduled and your
child is home sick from school, see if the other parent can take the day off to
care for him. If you can rely on each other to fill in during these times,
you'll always have back up child care and your child will be able to be cared
for by a parent while sick.
Offer directions if you're worried.
If you send your child off to the other
parent's house with a cold or stomach ache and you're concerned that your ex
doesn't really understand how to care for the child, offer some written
instructions if it will make you feel better. Make sure that your ex has the
phone number for your pediatrician. The bottom line though is that you have to
let go. You have to let the other parent be a parent and learn how to care for a
sick kid.
Keep charts for medications.
When you have two people administering
medications it makes sense to create a chart so that you can both mark down
dosages and when medications were given. This can avoid confusion, overdoses,
and missed medications. Do this for prescriptions, as well as over the counter
medications.
Work together in the worst situations.
If your child is seriously ill, this
is a time to put aside your differences and focus on getting her healthy. If
you're seeing specialists, having both parents along can be useful, if you're
able to handle the situation together.
The good thing about most childhood illnesses is that they pass as quickly as
they came on. Remember that you and your ex are both parents, in sickness and in
health.