Leaving The Marital Home


It's common for one spouse to consider leaving the marital home prior to divorce, but what are the obligations of the spouse that moves out? The following discussion addresses this issue, with tips on how to handle the situation.

What am I obligated to pay if I move out?

Packing up and leaving the marital home

Marlene's Question: I am thinking about getting a divorce and want to move out of the house. Right now I pay about 40% of the mortgage and utility bills and my husband pays the rest. Obviously, I can't afford to get my own place if I continue to split these bills with him. What are my obligations to continue paying those bills if I move out?

Timothy's Answer: To answer your question as to what your obligations are, you first must break it down into two parts: 1) legal obligations vs. 2) moral obligations.

Defining what your legal vs. moral obligations are both very different. If you own your home and it is in your name or held jointly, you have a legal responsibility to continue to pay your financial obligations. You also would have a legal obligation to pay any other expenses which are in your name.

Morally, you face yet another challenge. If your agreement is to share expenses using a 60/40 division and you move out and no longer pay your agreed upon portion, then you have not honored your part of the agreement. It could be that your husband simply can't afford to live in the house without you contributing to the financial obligations. Were this to be the case, it would not be fair to your husband and will most certainly make your divorce that much more difficult. This means it will also make your life that much more difficult.

I would suggest you start by telling your partner exactly what you would like to do and see if it is possible. If your husband can't financially maintain the house without your financial contribution or if he doesn't want to pay the additional expenses by himself, you can always look into alternative options. These options might include you both moving out of the marital home, you moving out but living with a family member or friend while continuing to honor your financial obligations until you can move forward with your divorce.

If you're just moving out and not quite ready to start a divorce, a separation agreement might be a good idea. You can do your own separation paperwork with a company like Rocket Lawyer.

Is he responsible for paying the bills while we're separated?

MD's Question: My husband left the home because he was having an affair. Is he responsible for paying the mortgage and bills while we're separated?

Timothy's Answer: Whether your husband has any financial liability to make any mortgage payment or utilities payment will depend on whether or not his name on the mortgage note or your utility bills. If the mortgage is jointly held in both of your names, then you both have a legal responsibility to pay the mortgage note. The same would be true for the utilities. If the bills are not in your husband's name, he has no legal responsibility to pay any portion of these.

Regardless of your marital situation, all jointly held liabilities must be paid in a timely manner. Even if your husband does not contribute any funds, you will still be required to pay your bills on time. If neither of you pay the mortgage, the bank will send a "notice of default" after a few payments are missed and they will not hesitate to initiate foreclosure proceedings.

If you do not know how your bills are titled, you should call the bank that issued your mortgage and the utility companies to confirm who has the liability. It is important you make any liability payments on time so your credit will be preserved.

About Timothy McNamara

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