Years of deceit and betrayal

by failed
(Tennessee)

Never stay for the kid’s sake! My husband of twenty years drained the life out of me after so many years of lies, deceit, and betrayal. He wouldn’t work, promised to change, and had his first affair with my sister. When I told him I was filing for a divorce he said I would destroy our son, so I stayed. This year my son turned 18 and graduates in the summer.

My so-called husband left one week before Christmas, took all the money while I’m unemployed till March. He moved in with his girlfriend and wants me to agree to an uncontested divorce as long as I agree that he will pay a small amount to my son. The worst mistake I ever made was not filing when I had the money. He left us nothing. Oh and he stayed to avoid child support once he got a good job!

I committed my life to my son and my marriage, but I told him after ten years of adultery and him being engaged to a coworker that I had enough. I didn’t find out about any of the adultery for ten years! He couldn’t have wanted for anything. I worked so hard until it nearly broke my body. No, I’m not stupid. If I didn’t feed my son, who would? Bills had to be paid. But I kept thinking will my son blame me? And he wasn’t even there for my son!

I’m telling you, don’t be like me! File for divorce and be done with it. You’re hurting your kids by staying. I know he is a habitual liar and I think he has a sickness of denial. Watch the signs. He could have murdered me and more justice would be done for the years he has taken from us. I pray for forgiveness for myself so I can someday stop the hate keeping me alive. It’s not worth it... get out!

Comments for Years of deceit and betrayal

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failed
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing; it’s me the poster. It's been since August that I was legally divorced and I did not fight one thing. I told his attorney he was black mailing me to get what he wanted in the divorce. His attorney was a woman! I put my son first and gave all I had to making it work. Well, I am facing being homeless now and nowhere to turn as my son will stay with my ex-husband’s mom. I failed. I put my ex in laws before me. My ex father-in-law passed away, but he was dying during the divorce and his son abandons him at a time he needed him most. It financially killed me. But I hope my kindness is enough to give me faith in my lord to be here as I truly need help myself now. Don't give up, don't give in... It is far worse if you do give in.

Lying
by: Nikki

I totally understand how you feel, my ex was carrying on with his ex when we were dating and I never found out until we were married. It stopped 8 weeks before our wedding day. I stayed, tried to make it work...what should have been my honeymoon was trying to recover from an infidelity!! I believed he would change. Big mistake! 12 year later we finally split. It has been painful and still is hard recovering from allowing someone to destroy me like that.

You think you know him but you don’t.
by: Anonymous

Well, where do I start? I was never married but wanted to be. I was a single mom of 5 kids. I met a man who was a police officer at the time my youngest was 6 months old. He told me he was separated and had 2 kids, his kids where a lot older than mine. We got together and have been together for 18 years. During this time, we had 2 children and it’s been both good and bad (until my youngest child from previous relationship turned 18).Then my partner’s son turned up one day and said he was getting engaged. I wasn’t invited to the party and wanted to know why. I kicked up such a fuss that in the end I found out the real reason. I wasn’t invited because he still has a wife and will not divorce her. I feel like I’ve lived a lie. All those years together, and did he really love me and the kids at the end of the day? I feel so hurt and bitter towards him. Now I don’t want him near my home or my kids. What can I do? We even got engaged on my 40th birthday. It feels so wrong. I really would like advice someone please. Thank you x

Addict
by: Anonymous

It’s good you did what you had to do. Based on my knowledge, when it comes to an addict taking money and making it ok, you will soon find the only one suffering is you. Don’t look back. Move forward with Christ. You took the hard first step, so don’t stop moving!

Financial abuse, drug addiction and lack of employment
by: Anonymous

My husband admitted that he had withdrawn money from our bank account and brought drugs. Therefore it has caused me mental, emotional and physical distress. He does not have means of employment or income as I have been the head of household trying to make ends meet. I cannot trust a drug addict. So I abandoned my home of eight years.

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