Changing A Parenting Time Visitation Schedule
As your children grow older, it may be necessary to
change your parenting time visitation schedule to accommodate your
children's evolving lifestyle. With increasing extracurricular
activities and outings with friends, the schedule that was
established when you got divorced may not longer work. The
following article discussing some of the things to take into
consideration as you work through the issues of changing your
visitation schedule.
Making Changes By Brette Sember
Because children are always growing and changing, no parenting schedule will
work forever. Instead, you should think of your parenting plan as
something that fluctuates and changes with your child.
It's easy to feel as though your parenting time visitation schedule is set in
stone - after all, a judge ordered it. However, almost all parenting plans
state right in them that they can be changed upon agreement of the
parties. Even if your order or judgment does not directly state this,
judges WANT parents to take control of their lives and reach agreements on their
own outside of court. If they didn't, the courts would be so clogged no
one could access them.
When making changes to your parenting time visitation schedule, keep these things in mind:
Maintain equal access
However you change your schedule around, you should try to have the monthly
total of hours with your child come out the same for each parent as it does
under your current arrangement. However, if you both agree that this
should change, you're free to alter it. If you're going to make
substantial changes in custody or visitation, it is a good idea to go to court
and modify your order by agreement to reflect these changes.
Know verbal agreements are not enforceable
You can your ex can and should make changes to the schedule, but if you have
a highly volatile relationship with your ex, you should realize that changes you
agree to outside of court are not going to be enforceable in court. So if
you agree that your ex will return your child on Saturdays at 7 pm and he
consistently returns the child on Sunday at 7 pm like your court order says, you
have no recourse, other than going to court and asking the court to modify the order.
Keep your child at the center
While it is sometimes necessary to make changes to the schedule because of
the parents, when making long-term changes, you should always consider what is
best for your child. How will he or she benefit? What works best for
her or him? The entire purpose of a parenting time visitation schedule is to allow your child time
with both parents, so keep this in mind.
Create a stable environment
It's not a good idea to make constant changes to the schedule. Kids
need stability and a regular schedule gives them something they can count
on. Try to create a schedule that will work for now, but will also work
for the foreseeable future. It's a good idea to calendar out the potential
new schedule you are discussing so that you can both see exactly how it will
play out and can identify any potential problems up front.
Get input from your children
If your child is his or her teens, getting input on the proposed changes is a
good idea. Teens have their own activities and social lives and any
schedule that cuts into that will create resentment. Sit down as a family
and create a plan that works for everyone. Write it down.
Even if
you and your ex are in perfect agreement about any changes to the schedule, it
makes sense to write down the new schedule so that everyone has a copy of
it. This will eliminate any potential confusion and make you both feel as
though you have created a contract with each other. People are more likely
to honor an agreement when it is in writing.
To the top of Parenting Time Visitation Schedule Modifications
Copyright 2006. Brette Sember is a former family and
matrimonial attorney and mediator, nationally recognized expert, and author of
many books including
The Divorce Organizer & Planner,
No-Fight Divorce, and
How To Parent With Your Ex.
For more information about Brette, see www.BretteSember.com.
For more information about what to consider when preparing a
parenting time visitation schedule, read the following articles:
Parenting Plans
Purpose of Visitation For Children
Creating A Child Visitation Schedule
Using A Parenting Plan Calendar
More Child Visitation Articles
Other Children and Divorce Issues
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