Mismatch from the start!

by Happiness

We were always fighting and could never see eye to eye on anything. First of all, he refused to work, so I was the one who had to pay all the bills and the loans. He also made me take care of all the household chores, which resulted in a slipped disk. There was no intimacy in our relationship because he claimed that he didn’t know how to have sex. On top of that, he was possessive and emotionally abusive. I finally packed up and left after he picked a fight with my sibling on my 32nd birthday.

Two years later, divorced and happy, I found out he had was having an affair and he had been cheating along.

Comments for Mismatch from the start!

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Let Me Count The Ways...
by: Anonymous

The list is as follows, in no particular order of importance, Verbal psychological abuse, financial management differences, parenting ideological differences, intellectual differences, unrealistic sexual expectations, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, absolute unwillingness to compromise, communication differences, and it could go on. We were just not compatible at all. The verbal/mental abuse was the worst; it wove its way through all the other aspects of our problems. Being that he was NPD, I was led to believe that we had many ideologies in common, but as time went on, I found he wasn't that person. But then I changed a lot during the 25 year marriage, I felt and thought very differently after having much counselling during the marriage. We are apart, our children are grown, and I no longer hate him. I’m still working on not hating myself.

I can do just as good on my own
by: Anonymous

My husband cheated numerous times. He didn’t want to pay any bills, so I was struggling trying to pay bills and take care of my kids. We didn’t have children together and he reminded me of that on a daily basis. I got tired if struggling and arguing about money. I would stress myself so much that my blood pressure would elevate to heart attack levels and I stayed ill. But I decided enough was enough and put him out. I can do just as good by myself.

My marriage was the same way
by: Anonymous

We could not agree on anything!!! Basically it came down to we did not have a lot in common. We couldn't communicate. We disagreed on how money should be spent. We didn't have a lot of the same hobbies or interests. We had different religious views. We couldn't agree on parenting issues. We had different goals in life. We had different views on sex.

We have different ways of handling conflict
by: Anonymous

I admit that I am stubborn. When I get mad, I don't speak. He, on the other hand, gets madder and starts to punch holes in the wall. This kills me. I have offered counseling but truthfully admit that we both talk about it but never went. We have a really good marriage aside from him punching holes in the wall.

speechless
by: Anonymous

My husband and I separated a few months ago after finding out that he had been cheating on me online and locally. I left the home and gave him a choice. I have not heard from him AT ALL in 65 days… Wow, what am I supposed to think?

I understand
by: Betrayed

My marriage ended because both of us weren't mature enough for solving our problem together (or not letting others interfere in our life). Unfortunately, he told to his family everything I had done and his family encouraged him to do this. Therefore, I couldn't trust my husband. I thought everything that my husband had done was because his family told him to. It wasn't good for me and everything that he suggested; I had to disagree with him.

Also, we fought with each other and I hadn't seen him for 2 months. After we saw each other again, I realized my husband had an affair. He said “you hadn't been here and I couldn't control myself and I found a girlfriend to have just sex”. Unfortunately, I accepted his excuse and after 2 months we fought again and he left me and filed divorce paper and we got divorced.

relationship management
by: faaiz

Unfortunately, as humans we all have a need to be connected with others, to feel loved and cared for. And this need can drive us to hook up with people who aren’t the best match for us. I’m glad you were able to move on and find happiness.