He was mean, abusive, and always high

by AHG
(Ohio)

I would imagine that my tittle says it all; and yes, those are all true. Alcoholism, substance abuse, physical and emotional abuse, addiction to adult websites, and cheating all led to the breakup of my marriage.

The bigger question is, "Why did I stay so long?"

I filed for divorce 2 weeks short of our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I was unhappy for a long time and did not even like him anymore. He was mean, abusive, and always high and drunk. Not a good partner for sure.

Through wonderful post-separation therapy, I discovered that he was a true narcissist. He fit the profile to a "T". He had no self-esteem, could take no criticism, but dished it out by shovelfuls. He had big addiction issues and justified all he did to serve himself well. Not to mention his need to control...especially me.

One of the last straws occurred about a week before he was arrested for domestic violence, and I filed for divorce was.....he took the door off our master bathroom. He said my showers steamed up the bathroom and since I did not follow his "rule" of keeping the door opened when I showered, he took it off.

That really hit me hard. It sent me into motion. I used to hate him, now I pity him.......and am so happy for my peaceful life. I have tons of stories about his abusive and irrational behavior; but if you feel you were married to a narcissist, please share with me. Thanks.

Comments for He was mean, abusive, and always high

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Alcoholic physical abuser
by: Anonymous

My husband drank every day and then unleashed physical abuse on me for 5 years.
I am with you
by: Mommy Jane

It is very sad to read this and yet it is really happening today. There are many women out there who have abusive partners. Yes, I am one of them. My ex-husband was very abusive; to the extent he beats me and also our children. I really hated him and cursed him that he will die. But I know it will just destroy my life and I need to file a divorce. First, he does not want a divorce but I went to learn about the laws on divorce so that I will make the process legal and he can't fool me. Fortunately, it was all successful in the end. This time I will give more time with my children and with myself. I have moved on and my life is happier now. :)
Oh I know
by: tiredofittoo

My husband and I had a long distance relationship. My husband kept asking me to marry him, but I kept declining. I declined because I had children and he had none. I told him it might be difficult going from a childless situation to having children, and explained how it goes with kids. But he kept reassuring me that he wanted and needed a family. These elements were missing in his life. So we married.

After we got married I could not immediately join him in Atlanta. I needed to tie things up in Cincinnati first. One late night in December he called me and said to me, "Let’s make each other a promise, in the event of infidelity lets promise to go to the other person first, and give them a chance to make it right. I thought that was so sweet, at the time.

Four months later, when I did move down to Georgia, I noticed a huge change in him emotionally and intimately. He made excuses for the changes, and said he was having a hard time adjusting. He neglected, ignored and denied me everything 2 newlyweds would share. From there, it appeared he used me and the children for the extra financial welfare we could bring him while he denied us the same living arrangements. We lived at poverty level while he lived very well.

This lasted 10 years. I wore the same gym shoes on a hospital floor and to the point it was nasty, because of my husband and his issue with me buying myself things I needed/not wanted. He enjoyed my health insurance and he made me pay for the children’s daycare including the 2 we got some unknown way with my money. To make this part of the story end he was having an affair with an associate that started that night in December 10 years back. This man easily abused me emotionally and terrorized me for years, attacking me when all the signs said he cheating.

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