He Pulled Away

by Marie
(North Carolina)

This is my second failed marriage, and I would have to admit it’s been the toughest one to handle. My first marriage ended after three years of alcohol and drug abuse from my ex-husband. I left because I didn't want to raise our child in that environment. It felt good. He is better now, thank goodness.

When I met my second husband, I felt like he was the one. We had so much fun together and he made me feel so special and wanted. I had already been divorced for two years and he was recently separated. We got married and after that is when the problems started.

We had trouble from his ex-wife and his two children. He never defended me and always blamed me for problems that I had with his youngest daughter by his first wife. He seemed to never be happy and we even bought a house that I thought he was excited about. He stopped wanting to go out and do things with me like we used to do. We talked about separating but never did it.

Then he started claiming he had to work on weekends. He was a truck driver, hauling just around the state. He was only gone about two to three nights out of the week. I should have noticed something when he said he had to work every weekend. Well, I came home at lunch one day and he had his belongings packed on the back of his truck. His mother was even there helping him.

I felt so betrayed. I was depressed for about a month and a half, but then I realized how happy I was without him. I noticed that I was becoming the woman that I was before we entered into a relationship. He moved in with his girlfriend a month and a half later after he left me, so I believe he was seeing her before he left. I think he is repeating the same behavior that he did with me.

We still can't get along, and he does things to spite me. He always said we were discussing separating, that we needed to get along, and not try to hurt one another. His girlfriend is very much younger than he is, so I think he may be going through a mid-life crisis. He left me with a mortgage, knowing that I couldn’t pay it, so I had to put the home up for sale and move into a rental home. I love the home, and I am considering buying it when I get my finances right.

All in all this divorce the second time around is worse than my first one, but I've learned from both of them. I don't believe that my ex-husband has though.