Something just was not right

by michele
(jackson, ms)

I’ve know something just was not right for a long time. He was an over-the-road truck driver and never came home even when he was in town. He was never able to account for his whereabouts and he didn't answer the phone a lot. So I just stopped worrying. But I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to me what really was going on.

It turns out my husband cheated. He married me while he was seeing someone else all the while. He finally told me after summons papers came because he and his girlfriend failed to pay for a car they bought together. The papers came to my home. There it was in black and white that he had been taking care of someone else.

How did he think he could get away with telling me nothing was going on? I knew something wasn't right, and I had affirmation to back it up. So I asked him about it. I told him what he was doing when met me at the house we shared, but I didn’t understand. And I don't understand. How? Why? Why was she better? He protected and defended her. But he never told me who she was to him. Why did he feel he had to protect her?

So I filed for a divorce. Now 8 months later he wants to tell me he made a mistake. A mistake…? A mistake that went on for 7 years! Well I'll be! He finally signed the papers, but now I don't know how to feel. Should I be glad? He helped her! He protected her! He took care of her! And now I feel guilty! For what? He did this. He was a fake from the start!

I will be fine I know. I feel betrayed and deceived. He is the cheater but I feel cheated.