So many reasons

by Karen

My husband was abusive (mentally and physically). He has no respect for me, emotionally is not there, we're always fighting and yelling, there is no control over finances, and the list goes on. It was this way for at least 10 years if not longer.

We were married for 15 years and have known each other for almost 20 years. I thought after all this time we would be able to work it out but it doesn't seem that way.

Comments for So many reasons

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He treats me with disgust and cruelty
by: Anonymous

When I met my husband I had 3 wonderful children and a good co-parenting relationship with my ex. I have never loved someone as much as I have my husband, but I have never been hurt and betrayed by anyone as I have him. The warning signs were there... He called CPS on me (I am a great mom but I battled postpartum depression), he has called the police on me constantly, lied, and has had impotency problems (due to porn addiction I find out later). His relationship with his mother is gross, she molested him when he was a child and he didn't tell me until AFTER she molested my son and now denies it. My husband tried to get a restraining order on me for saying awful angry things about his mother.

When I tried to leave him four years ago I learned who he truly is.... The worst thing he did was lie to my ex-husband and get him to take custody of my older kids. I was forced to stay to protect my young son (his family is rich and thinks he is abused). I recently discovered he is severely addicted to porn and the porn he likes is sick and wrong. I feel so sad, so dirty, and he only pretends to care when I’m ready to walk out the door. He is playing nice but I know he is just lying to me. It doesn't matter though as I have 0 friends, I can't see my family, I have no job, no money, and he will take my son if I leave.

I know I played a part in this. I know I allowed the behavior, but no one should treat the person they vowed to spend the rest of their life with such disgust and cruelty. I truly love him, but I know he won't change he's just going to "lie better" he says he's not looking at porn or seeing his mother but I am fairly sure he is. I have no self-esteem, I have gained weight and hate myself. I guess I'm just a loser that falls for liars.

I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

My husband shows no emotional support. There is no affection. He is a narcissist and controlling and his ways are getting worse with the demeaning things he says.

I'm trapped in my past relationship
by: Anonymous

I write this with complete honesty! I have traveled this life with pain that never goes away. I play the helpless one, the woman who has been beaten and left. Although I seem to end my relationships thinking I ended them. I was only 15 when I met my first ex-husband. I lived my life hopelessly hanging on because that was what I was supposed to do...HANG ON!!...never leaving because I had nowhere to go… no money, easier to stay and feed the children, feel like I had something to live for. After the last beating I left find a better life!

I thought I did in another man...10 years younger and a drunk. He was a twisted guy who just wanted my money and my soul, but I was addicted to being with someone no matter what the cost was! I was always trying to be that perfect woman but was actually tortured in my head! I would take anything as long as I wasn’t alone.

I am a dragon woman...always lost in my head...always in a state of sadness… destroying everything in my path that is good and having no way out to see the world in a better place. I have destroyed my last husband...pretending to be solid but honestly feeling like I’m insane! I met him and fell in love, I wanted nothing more!

I was still trapped in my past relationship with the father of my children...trapped in dysfunction… still in contact with him because of my grown children...terrible fights and drug use.

I lost a very good man to my past...because this one I truly loved, I will let him go...let him go so he will not live the life I feel I am never going to get away from… lost is me!!

A man can be abused too
by: Anonymous

I am a man that is going through the same abuse. Most people think that only women go through this abuse. I understand exactly what you are going through it is mentally draining. My wife has been abusing me for over 20 years. I am going through a separation/divorce that is like a horrible nightmare. She's calling my job, smearing name around town, telling my kids & family that I am a monster. Little do they know that I have abused mentally and physically. I pray that soon all of the abuse will come to pass. Somehow I feel it will continue forever.

I broke free from a verbally/emotionally abusive husband too
by: Anonymous

Only another woman who has experienced the verbal abuse and psychological abuse at the hands of her husband can know how you feel and my heart goes out to you. You feel alone and scared and don’t know what is happening. If this helps you at all then my experience has been for helping other women get through the abuse. Sometimes when you separate from the abuser, they still try to hurt you by using the kids, getting visitation, bringing them back late, trying to take them away from you or saying things to them about you. You need to get a great attorney and you need to tape record his verbal abuse to use as proof of the domestic violence and then go to family court. You can petition for a stay away order of protection based on the abuse and you must petition for full custody of your children.

I know the steps to take now because I lived through it and did not do everything right. I have been in the middle of a divorce for two years and see what I should have done in the very beginning. I never got proof of the verbal abuse.

Domestic violence (even Verbal abuse) in front of the children is considered by the courts for custody and if you have proof of it in recordings your case will be that much faster. God be with you. I know how bad it is, get away from him and use family court to help you keep him away from you and the children. Get a good lawyer.

newly separated
by: Anonymous

After 15 years of having a husband who was not there emotionally, we now have 4 kids ages 10 to 6 months. He was also verbally and emotionally abusive. It took me this long to finally say I had had enough. So early October I told him to leave and do not come back. Since then he has gotten worse...making my birthday that just passed so miserable...making it known to my family that he did it on purpose. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I am having a very bad day… I’m trying to be strong for the kids but it is hard...any advice?

Verbally Abusive
by: Anonymous

I was married to a man for 25yrs who always told me "I had no right to question his actions". He divorced me in a flash and now I think I feel better. I have been a stay at home mom for all that time. He still comes to my house and belittles me in front of my kids and my neighbors, but since he can't get under my skin, he finds new things to hurt me with. I believe GOD does things for a reason and I hope to soon see why I put up with this man for so long. It still hurts that he divorced me and that he had a girlfriend while he was here with me. It has been 6 months since then and I see things in a different light. There are bad days and some days are better than others. I hope life will soon be a lot better for me.

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