These single parenting tips can help you relate to your child in
a healthy way, whether you are currently going through a divorce or
if your divorce is final. Let's face it, divorce is hard on
everyone involved in the family, especially the children. By
using the following tips, you can help ease the transition
for your kids.
Single Parenting Tips
I will remember that parents do not "visit" with
their children. Instead, I will remember that children and
parents live together, no matter how short a time they have together.
I will try to save negotiations and discussions with the other
parent for a time when my child cannot overhear.
I will not ask my child to carry messages to the other parent.
Children should not be in the middle of parental disputes.
I will focus on enjoying the time I spend with my child, and
not worrying or being upset about the time I don't spend with my child.
I will not make my child feel guilty for having fun with or
enjoying the other parent's company.
I will not treat my child as a friend, a shoulder to cry on,
or a confidante. I will find emotional support elsewhere.
I will not say derogatory things about the other parent in front of my child.
I will not ask my child if he or she likes me better, has more fun with me, or is happier at my house.
I will not pump my child for information about what happens at
the other parent's home or for information about the other parent's life.
I will encourage my child to have a good relationship with the
other parent and to spend meaningful time with him or her. I
will remember that having a good relationship with both parents
is important for my child's development.
I will not use scheduling tactics to try to reduce the other
parent's time with my child.
I will not try to suggest to my child that he or she cut short
time with the other parent, miss scheduled time, or tell the
other parent he or she doesn't want to be go with that parent.
I will try to be on time for all transfers, as much as possible.
I will try to be flexible with schedule changes and will
remember that my child benefits when the other parent and I are
able to work out problems on our own.
I will try to always speak to the other parent in a civil,
respectful manner and if things get out of hand, I will end the
conversation until we have both calmed down.
I will remember that no one is a perfect parent and we are
both going to make mistakes.
I will not try to be someone I am not and instead will have a
natural relationship with my child that is true to who we both are.
I will not make promises to my child that I cannot keep.
I will remember that my ultimate goal should be to raise, a happy, healthy, and well-adjusted child.
Copyright 2004 by Brette McWhorter Sember, a retired
family attorney and mediator and nationally known expert about
divorce and parenting after divorce. She is the author of
The Visitation Handbook: Your Complete Guide to Parenting Apart,
The Divorce Organizer and Planner, and many other titles.
The following articles can give you more single parenting tips
to help you deal with the issues that you will face as you approach a divorce involving
children.
