Do you think your spouse is cheating on you?
The following article discusses the various signs of an internet
affair and can help make sense of your suspicions.
10 Clues of an Online Affair
Quote of the Day
Truth is all around you; what matters is where you put your focus.
- Roger Von Oech
Its obvious online affairs are prevalent today so what can you
do? This epidemic is causing the breakup of countless marriages.
How do you know if your spouse is violating the marriage vows by
carrying out an online affair? Let's look at typical indicators I
personally discovered while investigating affairs. If your marriage
is in trouble these clues will help you be the judge. Caution: These
clues are not confirmation of affair just feasible indicators for you take into account.
Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who doesn't use a computer today? I know a few people.
They are excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family,
friends, customers, finding street locations, and a host of other
productive endeavors. We can not live without them and shudder when
a lighting storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their
instant messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch
with their circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it's no easy
task. Does your spouse resemble your kid's magnetism to the
computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it's too late.
Passwords, instant message "buddy lists", internet
email accounts and emails are concealed - even protected from you! Do you find your spouse needing his "own space" at the
computer? Is there a real reluctance when you ask to know his
passwords? What's there to hide? These questions all have obvious
answers. The act of hiding information is deceptive by nature. Of
course, those of us who have worked in "Corporate America"
understand the need to protect company secrets. But what legitimate
"family secret" are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse
becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a direct need they
demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or source of
authority creating that "sense of accountability" over
them. Furthermore, they are breaking matrimonial law if committing
adultery. There is, in many courts, a price to pay!
Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of
the night. Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse at
night and found him at the computer? If this behavior becomes a
pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work demands a
sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.
Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach. This is panic
and unexplainable behavior. The rationalization is "when all
other contingency plans fail, just shut that thing off and don't get
caught." This foolish act is also called a "computer
crash" and has the potential of damaging both hardware and
software. The loss of files occurs when a computer is cut off
abruptly. Many spouses have reported this behavior just prior to
hiring us. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant
behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography
and fear reprisal. This may explain the need for panic.
The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your sight. The
study of body language has become useful to many investigators,
especially those of us who administer lie detection examinations. An
obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the cheater make is
blocking your view. They need the time to clear a screen, turn off
the monitor, or change to another internet page when threatened with
exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from view
is an indicator they don't want you to see something. Over time this
act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom from
detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the truth
from you is all they need.
Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or installs software to automatically rid this
information. There are times when a computer becomes filled with
unwanted files. Computers run faster when less "temporary"
files use up valuable "ram memory." This is prudent
maintenance for any computer user. What I am referring to in this
sign is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information from
discovery. While this information is retrievable through the science
of Computer Forensics, you won't find it readily available. On the
market now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual
purpose of this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer
internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when
confronted to stop. "When are you coming to bed?" "We
really need to go, now, what's taking so long?" "Can't you
do that later?" Have you asked these types of questions? Teenagers often become "obsessed" with instant messaging.
If you have kids who use the computer, you know. They have trouble
walking away from the PC. This same desire or need displayed by your
spouse is cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive pattern of
behavior shows a strong need to continue. You need to know why.
Shares personal information, photos or events with strangers in
emails, chat-rooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a profile
for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up and
share with friends on the buddy list. I've witnessed spouses who
send nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They share very
personal information that should be reserved to the marital home. Maybe it's time to
track this information with software that
collects this data. Today more courts are allowing emails and
computer usage data as evidence. It's advisable to consult an
attorney in your state beforehand!
Plays online games and frequents "personals" chat-rooms. This is where it starts.
Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if
chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can't, so why do it?
Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in "The
More You Know - Getting the evidence and support you need to
investigate a troubled relationship." Thirty plus years of
investigative experience is poured into this new release. It's a
"must have" resource guide for every woman's personal library.
