Divorce Tools Splitting Up Your Children Relationship Info Self Care General Info
Husband Caught Cheating?
Protect and Empower Yourself
Dealing with the emotional turmoil of a husband
caught cheating can take all the energy out of you. But instead of
being a helpless victim, use the following tips to help you take action on the problem and regain control of the
situation.
13 Resolutions for Wives With Cheating
Husbands
You don't have to continue to be a helpless victim if your husband is
cheating on you. There are practical steps you can take to make the best of a
bad situation. Whether you decide to stay with your cheating spouse or leave
him, the resolutions below will help you put the odds in your favor, so you can
gain the upper hand.
1. Make sure infidelity is actually the problem you're
dealing with.
Problems like drug or alcohol addiction or gambling often masquerade as
infidelity because of similar telltale signs. Don't speculate, investigate. If
you need to get solid proof of infidelity without spending a lot of time or
money, a book like Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs (Lifestyle
Publications, $29.95) with detailed information on the signs of infidelity will
help you find out for sure.
2. Face reality.
Ignoring your husband's infidelity will not make it go away. It will only
make things worse. He could become so attached to his mistress that it will be
impossible to get your marriage back on track.
3. Speak up and take a stand.
If you know he's cheating and say nothing about it, you're enabling his
infidelity. Make it clear that you disapprove of what's going on and tell him
you want it to stop. Not addressing his infidelity makes him think he has your
silent approval or that you don't know what's going on.
4. Let him know you know.
Affairs thrive in secrecy. If you've identified numerous telltale signs and
have solid proof of your husband's infidelity, decide when and how to tell him
you know about his affair. Sometimes just knowing his infidelity has been
exposed will be enough to make him stop.
5. Build a support team.
You need someone to confide in about your husband's infidelity. Don't try to
get through this alone. Surround yourself with people who care about you and
have your best interests at heart.
6. Realistically evaluate your situation.
Consider your options. Is your marriage worth saving? Should you get a
temporary separation? File for divorce? What is it in your (and your children's)
best interest to do?
7. Seek counseling for yourself and for your marriage.
You have a better chance of saving your marriage if you get professional
help. You'll be better equipped to deal with the trauma of infidelity if you
seek individual counseling, as well.
8. Identify the underlying issues.
Try to pinpoint the contributing factors to his infidelity - A life crisis?
Major character flaws? Sexual addiction? Dissatisfaction with you or with the
marriage? Or something else? Get to the root of the problem, if you can.
9. Protect yourself sexually.
Your husband's infidelity can have life-threatening consequences for you. If
he's cheating, your health is at risk. You're already a victim of infidelity.
Don't become a victim of HIV/AIDS too.
10 Find out your legal rights.
Consult an attorney who specializes in matrimonial law. Get a clear
understanding of what you're legally entitled to (alimony, child support,
division of marital assets) in the event of a divorce or separation.
11. Put your financial house in order.
Get a realistic view of your current financial situation and make the
necessary adjustments. Establish credit in your own name. Set up a separate
checking or savings account. Start putting money aside for a rainy day.
12. Make sure you're equipped to earn a living.
Many women remain in adulterous relationships because they're financially
dependant on their husbands. If you need to, take college courses or start
learning a trade to make yourself employable.
13. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
Accept the possibility that your marriage may end. Don't be caught off guard.
Have an "Infidelity Game Plan" in place in case your husband decides
to move out or ask for a divorce. Begin formulating your strategy now.
This year, empower yourself by focusing your energy and efforts on the
practical steps you can take to make the best of a bad situation. If you act on
these resolutions, you can gain the upper hand.
About the Author:
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the
author of "Is He Cheating on You - 829 Telltale Signs", which
lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs
most people overlook. Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity
issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, The New York Times, the
Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Cosmopolitan, FoxNews.com,
ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, MSN Lifestyle, iVillage, and numerous others. Ruth has
also been a guest on The Today Show, Fox News, 1010 WINS, CNN, Fox News, ABC
News, NBC News, and over 360 other radio and TV talk shows worldwide.