Holiday Visitation Issues
Answers From The Expert
 by WomansDivorce.com Having a holiday visitation schedule can make life easier because it lays out where the children will be spending each holiday without having to continually negotiate with your ex. While each state has its own individual visitation recommendations for holidays, parents generally rotate holidays such as Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, and Thanksgiving. The children are usually with the mother on Mother's Day and the father on Father's Day. When the parents live far apart, the schedule is adjusted to compensate for travel times. Christmas vacation is usually split evenly between the parents. For example, one parent will have the first half of the Christmas break and the other parent will have the last half (and this will alternate every year). The holiday visitation schedule usually takes precedence over the regular repeating schedule, so both parents need to take this into consideration when setting up there visitation schedule for the year. For example, if the non-custodial parent will miss the regular visitation time due to the other parent having that holiday, the regular schedule will resume after the holiday. Even with a holiday schedule in place, there may still be questions that come up. To get more insight on the subject, read through the various answers from the legal expert on how to handle holiday visitation issues: What if I'm supposed to get holiday visitation but it's his weekend? Elena's Question: Xmas day is mine according to our parenting plan. My ex has his normal parenting time on Xmas weekend. Meaning, he would pick my son up on Friday and he wont bring him back until 3 pm on Christmas day. I am asking him to bring my son home on Saturday before Xmas. Am I right? Brette's Answer: Holidays always trump regular parenting days. If Christmas is your day, he should be at your home by bedtime the day before. Can he take our son even if it's my holiday weekend? Elise's Question: We are separated and waiting for the divorce paperwork to go thru. We have a parenting agreement set up that allows my ex to have parenting time on alternating weekends. He now wants our 5 yr old back to back weekends which I did not agree to. Can I stop him from seeing him on 1 of the weekends, especially because it would be my holiday? Brette's Answer: If the order clearly states it is your weekend he has no claim. Does holiday visitation take precedence over a vacation? Question: Re: vacation time vs. holiday time. Which has precedence when its not listed under Utah state code (default parenting plan) or in our divorce decree? I am planning my 2 week vacation during my Ex's holiday weekend. Brette's Answer: I don't know what the precedent is in your state, but I would say holiday takes precedence over vacation because the holiday is set in stone and you can schedule your vacation when you choose. If you can't change when your vacation is, why don't you offer your ex another weekend in exchange for missing the holiday? That would be a fair way to handle this, or give him your next holiday. » Return to top How do we handle Christmas if he missed Thanksgiving visitation? Jennifer's Question: My ex husband is currently in prison and will be released soon. We alternate holidays with our daughter, and he was supposed to have her over Thanksgiving but was incarcerated. Does that mean he automatically gets her at Christmas time since I had her at Thanksgiving? Or do I stay on the holiday visitation schedule and keep her for Christmas? Brette's Answer: Jennifer - this could really go either way. On the one hand, you had a plan and he didn't follow it. On the other hand, it wasn't exactly within his control (although incarceration certainly isn't a gold star on his side of the argument). How about splitting Christmas Day with him? What if he's supposed to get the kids when school lets out for Christmas but doesn't want to come until Monday? Belinda's Question: What can I do if my ex is supposed to pick the kids up the day school lets out for Christmas, but does not want to come until Monday so he can party the same weekend school lets out? Can I stop him from picking them up on Monday? Brette's Answer: If your order specifies a set visitation and he doesn't come, he forfeits it. You're free to work out a compromise together. » Return to top Would the court recognize Head Start's holiday schedule? K.F's Question: I have a 4yr old that goes to head start, which lets out for Christmas vacation before the regular school. Someone said my child is considered as being in school, so it goes by when school regularly gets out. My ex's attorney told him that by law, head start is not a school so it doesn't count. The divorce papers say Christmas visitation starts when the child's school vacation starts. So my question is, if courts don't recognize head start, then what school are they referring to? Brette's Answer: Generally such an order refers to mandated schooling, but any judge would likely want your child to get the benefit of Head Start, so this is something you could seek to have clarified by the court. Does he forfeit Christmas because he frequently misses visitation? Julie's Question: My fiance has has visitation rights every other weekend. Because of his job, he misses visitations with his children frequently (which is something his ex-wife knew would happen before the divorce). Per the court order, he is supposed to get the children for Christmas break this year, but his ex-wife has made plans to take them to her parents. She says that because he misses visitations, he doesn't get them at Christmas. Is this legal? Brette's Answer: No. The schedule can only be changed by agreement of the parties. Missing visitation does not mean the other parent can have MORE time. » Return to top Can he alter the schedule to include 3 days of Hanukah celebration? Jennifer's Question: My ex is Jewish and I am Catholic. Thus we have not had holiday issues in the past. The kids are with me on Christmas Eve and Day, and his family celebrates Hanukah just on one day. He has NEVER done more than a one day celebration of Hanukah. This year he wants to take them for 3 days over Christmas break, claiming it's the last 3 days of Hanukah. I was planning to take the kids away for a few days during my regular parenting time. Can he do that? Brette's Answer: It depends on what your order says. Holidays always trump regular visitation, but if he has never celebrated Hanukah for more than one night it would be unusual for him to get them. He wants to change the holiday visitation schedule and says he'll take me back to court if I don't comply. Tiffany's Question: My ex lives in another state and doesn't take our son every other weekend like he is ordered. We made plans that he would take our son the day of Christmas and stay with him until he has to go back to school. Now he wants our son Dec 23 through 26, which means I don't get to spend any type of Christmas with him. If I don't let him go, my ex says he will take me back to court for keeping our son from him. I don't see how he can do this when our state law says that if its not my weekend then I get him on Christmas day. What do I do? Brette's Answer: Let him file - he's unlikely to get a court date before then (the courts are jammed this time of year with just these kinds of problems). Stick to what your order says or what you can agree to together. If you can't agree, you go by the order. » Return to top of Holiday Visitation Issues Can he cancel the verbal agreement we had about holiday visitation? Sonia's Question: We share joint custody 50/50. I made a verbal agreement with my ex that I would have our children during Thanksgiving Break "His Week" and He would have them during Christmas Break "My week", which means we would both have the kids for 2 weeks back to back. Now he is saying he no longer wants to go along with our verbal agreement. We made this agreement about 6 months ago so I could make travel arrangements and ask for time off of work. Can he go back on our verbal agreement? Brette's Answer: Yes he can because it is not court ordered. It's likely a court would tell you to follow the written agreement unless there is a good reason not to. Copyright WomansDivorce.com. All rights reserved. Related:
Child Visitation Rights
Changing Visitation Schedules
Child Visitation Problems
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