He was a bully.
You wouldn’t believe what a jerk my husband can be. He bullies everyone, including our own children. When they were toddlers and learning to walk, he would purposely make them trip or knock them down because he thought it was funny. He would tell me I was stupid and never had anything worthwhile to say. He would even tell other people "don't listen to her, she's stupid". He demanded I have dinner ready for him, and that I bring it to him on the couch instead of coming to the table. IF he had a bad day, it was taken out on me. He spent food and diaper money on cigarettes and refused to let me drive the car. I had to beg for simple privileges like going to the library or to doctor's appointments.
And he was charming, so charming. We'd fight, he would scream and yell and throw things, and then he would turn it off, instantly, and somehow convince me that I was being unreasonable. And I would buy it.
One day, after a fight where he threw my laptop across the room. I quietly texted my mother, and while he was a work, I moved myself and the children out. He was shocked, blindsided, and to this day expects me to come back. I can't talk to him for more than five minutes at a time because he turns on that famous charm and starts to make me think I was wrong, but I know if I go back there will be hell to pay for the embarrassment I caused him.