He Pulled Away

by Marie
(North Carolina)

This is my second failed marriage, and I would have to admit it’s been the toughest one to handle. My first marriage ended after three years of alcohol and drug abuse from my ex-husband. I left because I didn't want to raise our child in that environment. It felt good. He is better now, thank goodness.

When I met my second husband, I felt like he was the one. We had so much fun together and he made me feel so special and wanted. I had already been divorced for two years and he was recently separated. We got married and after that is when the problems started.

We had trouble from his ex-wife and his two children. He never defended me and always blamed me for problems that I had with his youngest daughter by his first wife. He seemed to never be happy and we even bought a house that I thought he was excited about. He stopped wanting to go out and do things with me like we used to do. We talked about separating but never did it.

Then he started claiming he had to work on weekends. He was a truck driver, hauling just around the state. He was only gone about two to three nights out of the week. I should have noticed something when he said he had to work every weekend. Well, I came home at lunch one day and he had his belongings packed on the back of his truck. His mother was even there helping him.

I felt so betrayed. I was depressed for about a month and a half, but then I realized how happy I was without him. I noticed that I was becoming the woman that I was before we entered into a relationship. He moved in with his girlfriend a month and a half later after he left me, so I believe he was seeing her before he left. I think he is repeating the same behavior that he did with me.

We still can't get along, and he does things to spite me. He always said we were discussing separating, that we needed to get along, and not try to hurt one another. His girlfriend is very much younger than he is, so I think he may be going through a mid-life crisis. He left me with a mortgage, knowing that I couldn’t pay it, so I had to put the home up for sale and move into a rental home. I love the home, and I am considering buying it when I get my finances right.

All in all this divorce the second time around is worse than my first one, but I've learned from both of them. I don't believe that my ex-husband has though.

Comments for He Pulled Away

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He acted as though I didn't exist
by: Kathy

My husband just withdrew into himself and ignored me completely. Our conversations were five minutes max. Then it was off to watch TV. Any attempts to get a connection between us was all on me and it didn't work. I begged and pleaded to no avail. Finally I stopped. Why should I fight for a marriage that he didn't care about? So I left and he's hurt but says he understands. He says he knows what he was doing to me and knows my bad behavior was brought on by his. My husband is a good man, didn't do anything "bad" to me, nor I to him, but I went from feeling unloved to resenting him.

He changed when I got older
by: MJ

When I got older and retired my husband started staying away from home long hours each day.

When he came home he was always rude spoken and very abusive verbally and emotionally. He began cursing at me for the least thing. I have found out that he is seeing other women. He doesn’t help with the expenses in the home. I end up having to pay for everything. He doesn’t take me out or spend any time with me. I am very lonely. I try to find things to do to not feel so alone. I am thinking about getting a divorce. We have been married for 43 years. I never thought my husband would treat me this way!

PROUD OF YOU
by: Anonymous

I AM proud of you. My first divorce was a breeze but this one really hurts. I knew my 1st marriage was going to last because we were staying together for our son. My second husband caught me somewhat on the rebound and divorcing him is harder. But I don’t miss doing everything for him (I mean everything), or being called names where even the neighbors could hear. Cursing at whatever didn’t go his way, lying or maybe calling it exaggerating on all aspects of his life, and his lack of respect for me. One time he went into a convenience store and left me in the truck for 1 1/2 hrs. That truck didn’t even have air conditioning.

Thank you for making me realize life is better without him. Now if he would settle the divorce and give me the money I deserve I will survive. lol (better than tears)

Stay Focused and Brave
by: Anonymous

You're a brave woman, I like that, just keep it that way, focus on yourself, look at the brighter side and eventually, things will go your way.

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