Reviewed by Tracy Achen
For a refreshing and down to earth look at divorce from a Christian woman's perspective, read "Get Over It!" by Rev. Justine Hanif. Filled with sage advice and insight, this is a very uplifting book for anyone who has been through a marital split. By walking you through the experiences of her own separation and divorce, she explores the challenges that many women within the church face when their marriage ends.
For example, there is the unspoken assumption that a woman who divorces didn't fulfill her wifely duties. In reality, there are no guarantees that any marriage will last, and even the most devote Christians can find themselves divorced. Unfortunately, judgments passed by those outside the marriage often isolates divorced women from the support system they so desperately need.
Rev. Justine Hanif steps in and gives the reader tools and insights to help work through the emotions that often come with divorce. One thing she talks about is the importance of forgiving those who have wronged you. A lack of forgiveness leads to bitterness, which can eventually turn to a hatred that hinders growth and keeps a person bound to the past. The book highlights the fact out that forgiveness doesn't mean you didn't feel hurt, but eventually the "hurt disappears, the offense falls into the past, and you can move on with your life."
In addition to learning how to forgive, the reader will explore the importance of learning to trust again. This can be hard for women who have been crushed by their divorce, but it's an important step in the recovery process. I loved her analogy about putting a broken heart into perspective in the following passage:
"Having a broken heart is like the pain of giving birth. It should be a pain that we eventually forget. We will remember the experience that caused the pain, but we don't have to hold onto the pain. We don't have to be afraid of letting ourselves love again. You have got to take a chance of being hurt again, of being vulnerable, in order to be whole.
The overall message of the book is to learn how to get a grip, let go, and move on so that you're not stuck by what others think. In other words, Get Over It! I would definitely recommend this book to all women who are hurting and seeking release from the emotional challenges of divorce.