Practicing Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is about your inner peace, not the other person. Forgiving eases you from negative baggage."
- Salsamisa

Forgiving someone is one of the best things you can do. It frees you up to spend your valuable time, energy, and other resources are producing fantastic new relationships, creating more happiness, and reaching your goals.

Picture a guy dragging his leg as he’s walking because his leg is attached to an iron ball and chain. This is what happens to us psychologically when we don’t forgive and when we drag along grudges with us. Have you ever held a grudge? Boy, I know I have. I used to be a world champion grudge holder. I might’ve even made the “Hall of Shame For Holding Grudges”. And it was the biggest burden to drag along with me on this journey of life.

So what happens when you cut the chains, free yourself of grudges, and practice forgiveness?
Well, instead of trudging along the highway of life with all these voluntary burdens that we’re carrying, we’re sprinting down the road of life with more love, laughter, and joy in our lives. Does this sound like a plan you’d like to sign up for?  Well then, do it! 

Here’s how to practice forgiveness.
It’s not rocket science. Make a list of people who’ve wronged you. Chances are, if you’re around someone long enough, you’ll give them ample opportunity to transgress against you. To do wrong against you. Well, that includes probably almost everybody of importance in your life. Right?

Take your list of all these people and forgive them. Forgive your parents. They raised you the best they could for what they know. Forgive your siblings. Forgive your spouse. Forgive your kids. Forgive your boss. Forgive your co-workers. Forgive yourself. Are you catching the pattern here?

Forgive everybody!

Here’s the neat thing. If someone has really done a “doozy” on you and done something to you which you believe is “unforgivable”, let me share with you a secret that changes everything.

Forgive them…for yourself. Let me repeat that because I really want you to get it. Forgive them…for yourself. Yes my dear reader, you can forgive someone else for selfish purposes! What you’re doing when you’re forgiving them is that you’re saying that you’re no longer willing to spend your valuable time, energy and resources thinking about them and dwelling on them and what they did against you.

Having done that, you now have plenty of more time, energy, and personal resources to devote to achieving your goals, creating more success, and forming positive, lasting relationships with those who truly matter in your life.

Forgiveness can happen in a split second. It’s a decision. Just give up the burden. Bam…it’s gone.

Here’s specifically a process to forgive someone. Use it if you like.

1. Call, write, or meet the person and tell them that you’ve forgiven them.
2. Tell them that you no longer hold whatever it was against them.
3. Congratulate yourself for making the decision to live without harboring grudges anymore.

OR…if you don’t want to personally contact the person. You can forgive them in your mind for the same effect.

1. Close your eyes and relax comfortably.
2. Picture that person in your mind.
3. Get close to that person and speak to them, telling them that you forgive them.
4. Give them a hug and send them on your way.
5. Congratulate yourself for making the decision to live without harboring grudges anymore.

There you have it!  Total forgiveness. You’ve mastered the concepts just by reading them. Now put them into action to witness the true magic in your own life.

Copyright Kent Sayre 2004
******************************************************
Kent Sayre is the author of "UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE", a collection of specific, immediately applicable techniques that you can apply in your life to expand your comfort zone, increase your confidence, and take action to go after your dreams.
*************************************************************
Here is something special for the women who would love to hear their ex's apologize for all the mistreatment they faced over the years.  It's both a tribute and an apology, entitled A Love Letter to Womankind, From Your Awakening Brother (it's a truly sincere letter of apology). 

For more information on the emotions that you may be face when healing from your divorce, check out the following sections:
Healing After The Divorce
Stress Management
Anger Management
Your Perspective On Divorce
More Articles on Starting Over

Divorce Process / Children and Divorce/ Emotions and Divorce Relationships / Financial Survival / Job Tool Kit

Home /  Divorce Guide /  State Resources
Divorce Books / Store / Survey / Contact Us / Chat / Links / Newsletter