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Filing Divorce Papers

Filing divorce papers is the first step in the divorce process.  States require that you or your spouse meet the residency requirement of that state in order to have jurisdiction over your divorce.  The amount of time needed to qualify as a resident varies from state to state, so you will need to check your individual state laws to verify that you meet the requirements. 

If you and your spouse live in different states, it is possible to file in either state if you both meet the residency requirements of that state.  Once residency requirements are met and jurisdiction is decided, the divorce petition needs to be completed.  This document states the names of the parties involved in the divorce (including children), the proposed property division, child custody and support, and any other information relevant to the divorce. 

From there, the divorce papers are filed in the courthouse of the county that will have jurisdiction over the case, and a copy of the petition is served on your spouse.  Since getting the petition started and filing divorce papers can be complicated, many people choose to have a lawyer handle the process for them.  Of course, you always have the option of handling the divorce yourself, but be prepared to do a lot of paperwork and research.  For more information about how to file for divorce, read over the frequently asked questions below:

How long do you have to be married before you can get a divorce?

Question: I want to file for a divorce but have been married for only 2 months. Will I encounter any problems in doing so?

Brette's Answer:  No, it doesn't matter how long you've been married. You can seek a divorce at any point.

How do I file for a fast divorce?

Shell's Question: How do I file for a fast divorce? I am getting married in two months and need to get this taken care of.

Brette's Answer:  Two months may be unrealistic depending on how quickly things move in your courts and how easily you can reach your ex. The fastest thing to do is to file for an uncontested divorce, where he completely agrees and signs off on it. You need to determine if there are waiting periods in your state and what the process entails. Check your state court web site or call the court clerk's office. Good luck.

What type of divorce should I file if my son died?

Melinda's Question: I live in Nebraska and my only son was 18 years old and died. I've been separated for 15 years. How do I file for a divorce? With or without children?

Brette's Answer:  I'm sorry about your son. You would file without since custody does not need to be determined. Good luck.

Are there any other steps after you file for a divorce?

Diane's Question: After you file for a divorce is there a next step?

Brette's Answer:  Yes, there are many steps. Check with the court clerk for a packet explaining or go to your state court web site. (Note: you can read about the individual steps of divorce and what to expect by reading this article on The Divorce Process)

Can I file for divorce even if my spouse doesn't consent?

Cary's Question: Although we both decided on divorce and preferably mediation 5 weeks ago, my husband now says he is not ready and has stopped communicating with me.  Can I just file with the court even if he doesn't respond?   

Brette's Answer:  Yes, one person can file but the other must be served. You need to talk to an attorney in your state about your state's laws and procedures. You don't need your spouse's consent to get a divorce though - if you want one, you can go file now.  He can certainly drag things out a bit if he isn't ready to move forward. Mediation is an excellent idea if you can get him to go. »Return to top

Can he contest the divorce after I file?

Karen's Question: My husband and I have been separated for 3 yrs. Our children are all over 18, there are no assets to divide, nor is there any debt to settle. Can he contest the divorce when I file?

Brette's Answer:  Yes, he can contest the actual divorce itself unless you live in a no-fault state where you are not required to prove grounds.

Can I get a divorce without notifying my spouse?

Mona's Question: I would like to know how a Divorce is obtained when the other party is not notified?

Brette's Answer:  You always must notify the other party. He must be served with papers notifying him of the divorce and giving him an opportunity to respond. However if you are unable to locate him after reasonable efforts, the court will permit notification by publication. You publish a notice in a newspaper chosen by the court and wait to see if the other party responds. If not, the case proceeds without him.  Click on the following link to read more about notify your spouse that a divorce has been started.

How do I file for divorce if I don't know where my spouse is?

Raquel's Question: I left my husband and have no idea where he is or how to get a hold of him. It's been over two years. What do I do to get the divorce process started?

Brette's Answer:  Check your state court web site or go to the court clerk's office.  You need to find out what the process is in your state, but generally you would file then get permission from the court to serve him via publication if you cannot locate him. »Return to top

Will it cause a problem if my mail delivery is messed up?

Jessica's Question: I have had 3 address changes since I've been separated from my husband. My sister-in-law and I have the same first and last name, and every time I have done an address change, our mail gets mixed up. Now my mail going to her house. If I was to file for divorce will this cause a problem?

Brette's Answer:  I'm not sure how you think this will be a problem. Ask that paperwork be mailed to your attorney instead of you if you are worried about it getting mixed up. The court doesn't care that your sister-in-law has the same name. You have to provide your SS# for the case.

Help. I filed for divorce but he wasn't served in the time limit?

Dina's Question: My divorce was defective since it was not made within 120 days of filling the summons with notice. And the affidavit of service indicates service was made 420 days after filling the summons with notice. What can I do now?

Brette's Answer:  You probably have to start all over and re-file from the beginning. A quick phone consult with an attorney in your area should provide detailed answers. Good luck.

Do I need my marriage license to file for a divorce?

Roseann's Question: Do I need to show my marriage certificate in order to get a divorce?

Brette's Answer:  In most places you do not, however you do need to be able to list the date and place of the marriage. »Return to top

Can I still file for divorce if he destroyed our marriage license?

Donna's Question: What are my rights if my husband intentionally destroy the marriage license, so my marriage is not recorded?

Brette's Answer:  If he destroyed your copy, you can just get another copy from the town or city where it was recorded. If he destroyed the original marriage license before it could be filed, you are still legally married and you have witnesses to that fact. You can file for divorce.

Can I file an uncontested divorce is there's nothing to divide?

Liz's Question: My husband and I have lived apart for nearly two years. We have not been intimate for a year now, live in different places, and have out own lives. Someone said that I can just file uncontested papers at the courthouse? Is that possible? I don't want anything from him.

Brette's Answer:  Yes, an uncontested divorce is always an option. Get the packet from your court clerk or your state's court web site. »Return to top

Can I file for a Summary Dissolution due to our long separation?

Margarita's Question: I have been legally married for 20 years we were however separated a month after we were married. He was in the military at the time and we never lived together. Can I file Summary Dissolution given that we separated shortly after the marriage or do I still have to file a regular divorce?

Brette's Answer:  You need to read the rules set out by your state for the type of divorce you qualify for. If you file the wrong papers, the court will reject them and you can re-file the correct ones, however you'll have paid fees for both sets, so it's best to try to get it right.

In which state should I file for a divorce?

Mary Ellen's Question:  If I got married in one but now we live in another state, where do I file for a divorce?

Brette's Answer:  You file in the state you currently reside in. Be aware though that most states have a residency requirement  that requires either that you live there for several months, or that the reason for the divorce arose in the state. »Return to top

Where do I file for divorce if my husband lives in a different state?

Sandra's Question: If you live in a different state than your spouse, can you divorce in the state you live or do you have to be in the same state as your spouse? Also, if he files in New York and I would like to use an attorney from Georgia is this okay?

Brette's Answer:  You can divorce in the state you live in, if you meet the divorce residency requirements. If he files in one state, you will need an attorney in that state, unless the attorney you hire in GA is licensed to practice in NY and you're willing to pay for the travel. Good luck.

Does he have to travel to the state where the divorce is filed?

Lisa's Question: How do I get divorced when my husband and I live in two different states? We've only been married for a year, and I don't want anything of his and I'm sure he doesn't want anything of mine. I just want a divorce. So is it possible to get a divorce without one of us having to fly to another state?

Brette's Answer:  If you meet the residency requirements of your current state, you can file there. He can file affidavits to indicate his consent.  »Return to top

Where do I file if my children were born in different states?

Khouri's Question: I have lived in my state for about 7 months, and gave birth to our third child while here. My husband still resides in a different state. Does giving birth to a child in another state cause an issue about where I should file? 

Brette's Answer:  It doesn't matter where your children were born. Residency requirements will govern where you file for divorce.

Does it matter if he files in a different county than I live?

Crystal's Question: My husband moved me and the kids into an apartment 200 miles away and told us he was being transferred soon, to get settled and enroll in school. Now he has just told me he is going to file for divorce.  Does it matter if he files in a different county than I live? I am looking into lawyers here where I live, but if he files where he lives will I have to travel for this and get a different lawyer? 

Brette's Answer:  I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. One thing you can do is file in family court where you are now for custody, child support and spousal support. This will help you get on your feet financially. Where the divorce should be heard is a jurisdiction or venue question. If you're in the same state, then it can likely be heard in either county. Since it would be a hardship for you to travel to his locale, you have a good argument for a transfer to where you are, as long as you meet the residency requirements. Your other option is file yourself for divorce. You need to talk to an attorney who can help you through these decisions. Call the bar association and ask for a referral. Good luck.  »Return to top

Can I file for divorce in the US even if I married in another country?

SJC's Question: I was married in the Virgin Islands and live in United States now.  Is it possible to file for an uncontested divorce in the United States? 

Brette's Answer:  Yes, as long as you meet the residency requirements of the state you live in.

How to handle filing divorce papers if you have dual-citizenship

Andrea's Question: I have residency in both the United States and Ontario, Canada. Is there one location that is typically better for me to get divorced in?

Brette's Answer:  You would need to either consult an attorney in each location or talk to one attorney who practices in both areas. What you want is a comparison of what the laws in each locale would entitle you to, so that you could choose the place that will be most favorable for filing divorce papers. Even though you are a resident of both places, you need to make sure that you meet the divorce residency requirements of each locale, as this is a different legal concept. »Return to top

How can I find out if my husband has filed for a divorce?

Maureen's Question: How can I find out if my husband filed for divorce?

Brette's Answer:  You would need to be served with papers for the divorce to be legal. If you're worried perhaps that you should have been served and wasn't, go to the court clerk's office in the county he lives in and ask for a search using your name. You should also check in your county if you live in two different places. »Return to top

How can I find out if my lawyer filed the divorce papers?

Sherry's Question: How can I find out if my attorney really filed divorce papers without running back and forth to court.

Brette's Answer:  Call your attorney and ask for a copy of the receipt.

Why would someone file for divorce, but not serve the petition?

Andrea's Question: Why would someone file for divorce, but never serve papers to the spouse? Do the papers have to be served to the spouse and recorded in the court for a divorce to proceed?

Brette's Answer:  Papers do have to be served for a case to continue. There are many reasons a person might file and then not follow through - running out of money, changing their mind, being unsure how to handle service and so on.  »Return to top

Can I make him file the completed divorce papers?

Jenn's Question: My husband downloaded the divorce papers off of the internet, and gave them to me to sign, he put himself as the petitioner, and me the respondent. I took the papers in and had them notarized, and gave them back, 7 months ago. He has yet to file them, and I am getting married soon, and need this done. How can I get him to file the papers, or should I contact a lawyer and do it myself?

Brette's Answer:  You can't make him file them. You can however file for divorce yourself. I wouldn't plan a wedding yet - a divorce can take a long time if he contests it. Good luck.

Can he file for divorce if I've already filed and served him papers?

Mele's Question:  Can my spouse file for divorce if he's already been served with the divorce papers I filed?

Brette's Answer:  He can file, but you can ask to have the case dismissed.

Can he file for divorce if I've already filed, but not served the papers?

Jacqueline's Question: I filed for a divorce but I have not had my husband served because I am starting to have second thoughts. The paralegal group I went through said they will put it on hold until I decide to serve him (which I have 2 years). Can he file for divorce from me even though I already filed but have not had him served yet?

Brette's Answer:  If you have already opened a case, in most states he can file another one, but they cases will get combined into one action. »Return to top

Can I file for divorce in my home state even though my husband has already filed in another state?

Maggie's Question: My soon-to-be ex has filed for a divorce in the state that he is currently living in, but the courts have kicked back our uncontested cased for over a year.  I have signed the papers and I want to have this finalized.  Can I go ahead and file for divorce in my home state, even though the original divorce is being processed in another state?

Brette's Answer:  Probably not. If there is a case already in progress in another state where there is jurisdiction it is unlikely your state would let you move forward. You can focus on getting the divorce finalized where it is already in progress. It sounds like you have much of the work done already. If you're frustrated with the process you could always file a counter-petition in the same case to try to get things to move forward. Find out what the problem is with the current paperwork and work to get it resolved. It might be worth a few hundred dollars to consult with an attorney who could take a look at it and tell you what's wrong.   »Return to top

What if one spouse files for divorce, but the other refuses to sign?

Jade's Question: What happens when one spouse files for divorce and the other spouse refuses to sign or accept the divorce?

Brette's Answer:  The case moves forward. The judge decides if there will be a divorce or not.

What can I do if filed for a divorce, but now want to stop it?

June's Question: I filed for a divorce and my husband received the service, but completed it incorrectly, so the court sent it back to him.  I now want to stop the divorce.  How do I do this, as I don't have any legal representation? 

Brette's Answer:  Call the court clerk and ask what procedure to follow to withdraw the case.  »Return to top

What can I do if I found mistakes after I filed for a divorce?

Brenda's Question: I just notice I put some inaccurate information in my divorce papers. My husband has been already served. How can I correct it. 

Brette's Answer:  Call the court clerk and ask how to revise or amend papers.

Can a guardian file for divorce on behalf of a disabled person?

Brenda's Question: I have a disabled daughter who I have guardianship of. Her husband shot her and she is unable to make any decisions for herself.   I do not want anything happen to her and have him obtain any of her social security in the future.  How do I as guardian get her divorced?   

Brette's Answer:  You should be able to file for divorce and sign the papers, listing yourself as legal guardian. I would recommend you consult with an attorney in your state to discuss this.   »Return to top

Related Articles:
How to Serve Divorce Papers
How To Get A Divorce
Signing Divorce Papers
Also see:
More questions and answers
Ask the Legal Expert a question

Brette Sember is a former family and matrimonial attorney and mediator, nationally recognized expert, and author of many books including The Divorce Organizer & Planner, No-Fight Divorce, and How To Parent With Your Ex. For more information about Brette, see www.BretteSember.com.

This column provides general information about the various aspects of divorce.  It is not intended to take the place of legal counsel and should not be considered personal legal advice.  For specific recommendations concerning your situation, please retain experienced legal counsel.  WomansDivorce.com and Brette Sember disclaim any liability from any claim arising from any information contained in this column. This column is not a substitute for legal advice.

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