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Child Support Questions
Answers From The Expert

If you have children, it's likely that you have child support questions concerning your situation, such as how child support is calculated, how long it lasts, and if visitation rights and child support are connected.  Since support issues often come up during and after a divorce, the following child support questions may help you find answers about your current situation.

Child Support Before Divorce

Filing For Child Support

How Child Support Is Calculated

Custody Issues and Child Support

Paternity and Child Support

Factors Modifying Child Support

Child Support Payments

How To Collect Child Support

Back Child Support

When Child Support Ends

Child Support Tax Information

Child Support Before Divorce

Can I get child support if I'm living with the father?

Ashley's Question: Can I still go for child support if I live with the father of my child?

Brette's Answer:  Probably not. Check with an attorney though to find out what the rules are in your state.

Can I get child support if we're separated?

Stephanie's Question: My husband and I have been separated for about 9 months now.  We have a child together, however no support is being paid and I can't afford to file for divorce. 

Brette's Answer:  You can go file for child support on your own at your local family court. You don't need an attorney. You may also be entitled to spousal support.   »Return to top

Is support retroactive from the date of separation?

Kim's Question: My husband moved out and left me with all the bills and a baby to take care of. Will he have to pay me back the money that I spend before we get divorced?

Brette's Answer:  Support is not retroactive. You do not need to wait for the divorce - go to family court and get support now, or file the divorce and seek a temporary order. You should also get child support. Get a lawyer to help you.

Can an informal agreement during separation be enforced?

Melissa's Question:  My husband and I are separated, and have a three year old son. He said that he'll verbally agree to monthly child support and a schedule for visitation, however he refuses to sign anything. I believe we need something in writing to protect both of us, however he said I will have to take him to court to get his signature on anything. What should I do to protect myself?

Brette's Answer:  You're right to have concerns about this. Unless you have a court order, he is not required to pay you a dime, and since you have nothing determining custody, he could legally take your son and not return him. Some couples are comfortable with unwritten agreements, however they are never enforceable. Go to Family Court and get some orders laying out your agreement. It is a simple process. His refusal to sign anything makes me very suspect.   »Return to top

Filing For Child Support

What is child support supposed to be used for?

Erica's Question: What expenses exactly does child support cover? I believe that child support goes towards a roof over the child's head, clothes on her back, and food in her mouth. Is this wrong, or should the child get the child support from the non-custodial parent?

Brette's Answer:  There are no specifics about what child support covers. The parent who receives it is not accountable for how the money is used. I'm not sure I understand your last question. The non-custodial parent is the one who pays child support to the custodial parent.  »Return to top

When does child support start?

Cheryl's Question: If a non-custodial parent has to go to court for his preliminary hearing on child support, will he have to make a child support payment then?

Brette's Answer:  No child support is due until an order is entered. It then generally becomes due the next week or next month (depending on whether it is being paid weekly or monthly).  »Return to top

Can I get child support if it wasn't part of the original divorce?

Amber's Question:  My divorce was final two years ago, and I had primary custody in a 60/40 custody split (we swapped weeks).  After he remarried, my daughter started living with me full time, with my ex taking her every other weekend. Since I did not seek child support when my divorce was filed, can I file for an modification and require him to help support his daughter? 

Brette's Answer:  You can go to family court and request child support. You will probably need to modify your child custody plan as well to reflect the current status. Then child support can be based on that. »Return to top

Which state child support rules will apply if I move to another state?

Crystal's Question: My husband and I divorced in Maryland.  He stopped child support payments when our daughter turned 18 because that is Maryland law. I live in NY now, and NY state law says that he has to pay child support until my daughter is 21 as long as she is in school, which she is. I was told that I would be able to "re-file" for child support in NY and then it will be granted. Is this true?

Updated Answer:  In 2001, the UNIFORM INTERSTATE FAMILY SUPPORT ACT Section 611 was amended make it clear that the duration of the child support obligation should be fixed by the order of the originating state. Amended [section] 611(d) provides that "the law of the state that is determined to have issued the initial controlling order governs the duration of the obligation of support." The amendments to [section] 611 also state that a registering tribunal cannot establish a new support order under its laws after a child has reached the age specified under the duration of support law of the issuing state. It also further provides that "the obligor's fulfillment of the duty of support established by that order precludes imposition of a further obligation of support by a tribunal of this state."  Given this information, you won't be able to re-file if the original orders state that child support ended at 18.  »Return to top

Should I re-file for child support if he wasn't at the hearing?

Erica's Question: My husband and I are separated and I recently filed for Child Support. Our court date was a month ago and he did not show.  The judge said he could not look up his pay grade so I could receive CS because my husband had to be present. So the judge issued a warrant for his arrest. He may never be brought in unless he gets pulled over for a traffic violation. Should I file again? 

Brette's Answer:  If he doesn't appear, he is in default and you should be able to obtain an order against him, as long as he did actually receive notice of the proceedings. You need to find out if he was legally served. If not, service has to happen. If he was served you need to make a motion for a default judgment.

Should I appear in person instead of doing a phone conference?

Carol's Question: I have file for child support. The father live in another state and has to appear before the judge. I was not ordered to be there, but wanted to be to make sure he does not talk his way out of paying child support. I set up a phone conference, so I could speak. My question is should I go there instead of doing a phone conference?

Brette's Answer:  A phone conference is probably easier for you. There are some advantages to being there in person, but phone conferences are a good substitute.

Is more child support better than getting alimony?

Question: During our separation, my lawyer encouraged me to agree to a higher amount of child support rather than having a separate alimony payment. Now we are considering divorce. I am wondering if it is prudent to keep the same arrangement, or ask for a separate alimony payment. I am worried that my husband will try to get my son to go live with him, as he has tried to do before, and that if he is successful, I will lose it all. What is the best way to approach this situation?

Brette's Answer:  There are pros and cons to the many different arrangements. Alimony is taxable. Child support is not. Child support ends when your child ages out or if custody changes. Alimony does not. You can also consider lump sum alimony which is payment up front, or a larger property settlement.

Can I file for child support even if I have other children?

Quinasta's Question: My husband and I have lived apart for 5 years. We both moved on and I couldn't afford a divorce. We have a seven year old who he doesn't want ever see. If I had another child, can I still file child support for his son? Will he be able to get custody if I file?

Brette's Answer:  Yes, you can still file for child support even if you have other children. Child support and custody are separate issues. To obtain child support, custody has to be determined first. If he wants to ask for custody that would be his opportunity. It's unlikely he would win since he has had no contact with the child, however visitation is a possibility.

Can I file for child support if we weren't married?

Angel's Question: My husband and I had a ceremony but we were never legally married.  After 14 years, I moved out and our 2.5 year old goes back and forth. Do I have any rights in terms of a financial settlement, child support etc...?

Brette's Answer:  You are exactly one of the reasons why I wrote my new book, Unmarried with Children (from Adams Media - see www.unmarriedwithchildren.net). Yes you certainly have rights! Child support has nothing to do with marriage. Go to family court and ask for it. The financial settlement part is trickier. You can consider several things - if you can get him to go, a mediator can help you work out how to divide your joint assets. If not, you can go to regular civil court (small claims or a higher court depending on the amount of money) and ask that joint assets be divided.  »Return to top

He's threatened that he won't pay child support if I leave him.

Dee's Question: I would like to pack up and leave my alcoholic and verbally abusive husband.  He has threatened that if I leave him he won't pay a dime in child support or spousal support. Can I leave with my daughter and take our things with us, such as computer, furniture, clothes and games and toys (and also take some money from the bank for support)? What should I do? 

Brette's Answer:  You should set up a consultation with an attorney who can go over with you in detail how much child support and spousal support you would be entitled to. Your husband does not get to decide if he will pay it - if the court orders it he will have to pay it. You can take things with you when you leave, as well as a portion of the cash. Check with an attorney to find out how best to do this in your state.

How Is Child Support Calculated?

What is factored into the child support calculation?

Melissa's Question:  When paying child support, do they take into consideration what money gets paid out in bills before they determine what gets paid in child support?

Brette's Answer:  There is a formula used to determine child support. Go to your state court web page and check the family court section for child support information. You can start by looking up your state divorce information, and then clicking on the link for child support calculations.  »Return to top

Is all income used to calculate child support?

Mary's Question: My ex is working a full time and a part time job. We have not set the final child support amount. Will the courts base the income from both jobs or only one job?

Brette's Answer:  Child support takes into account all income. Good luck.

Do we have to follow the child support guidelines?

Vanessa's Question: Is there a limit to how much money they can take from you for child support? My ex has a current support order and I am putting in one for myself.  With two support orders, according to the "electronic worksheet", he will have nothing left to live off of after he pays all his child support. Can they really do that?

Brette's Answer:  You can choose to opt out of the state guidelines and the court can also deviate from it.

Can we decide on the amount of child support that will be paid?

Terry's Question: My spouse and I are attempting to do a non-contested divorce online. Can we come up with our own amount of money for child support on one child. Each of us will have the child for approximately half of every month.

Brette's Answer:  In most states you can go outside the child support standards if you have a good reason to do so. You may need to offer an explanation to the court for why you wish to do this, and make it clear that you both agree to it. Even so, it is up to the judge to decide if your agreement is acceptable. In practice, most courts are pleased to have parents who can agree and as long as it seems fair, they are reluctant to make a fuss. Good luck.   »Return to top

What if I don't want him to pay child support?

Alexena's Question: My husband has spent sometime in jail and rarely has any money. Can I divorce him and not require child support from him so that I'm free and clear of him?

Brette's Answer:  It is possible to opt out of the child support guidelines, but you have to provide reasons for why you are doing so and assure the court that the child will be adequately supported. In most cases, some child support is going to be part of the deal.

How do we do a one-time settlement for child support?

Nicky's Question: My ex and I want to do a 1 time settlement for child support. How do I go about this?

Brette's Answer:  You need to see an attorney. Most attorneys recommend against this since needs change and additional child support may need to be sought later.

Is he obligated to pay child support if he's unemployed?

Elyse's Question:  My husband has not worked for the last 9 months, and things are just about over between us.  Would the court make him get a job to pay child support? He says he wont work so I wont get a dime!

Brette's Answer:  Your husband is obligated to pay child support - there is a minimum that must be paid even if a person is unemployed. Talk to an attorney.  »Return to top

What if he works less to lower the child support?

Camille's Question: My ex husband is considering going back to college, and working as little as possible as a "self employed carpenter". How can I ensure that I get the child support my son deserves? I heard that if a non-custodial parent is underemployed or unemployed, the court may consider earning potential instead of actual income.

Brette's Answer:  That is correct. Document what he's earning now if possible.

What if he's lying about his finances to lower child support?

Elyse's Question: What can I do if my ex is hiding finances and claiming that he is unemployed in order to lower child support payments?

Brette's Answer:  You hire an attorney who will subpoena records and possibly hire an investigator.

Will my child support be given priority over previous support orders? 

Lori's Question: My husband had an affair and the results were two children. We have two children of our own who were born first. I stayed with him till I could no longer tolerate it, and now we are getting a divorce. My question is, will his child support be readjusted for the two affair children and my children be given priority?

Brette's Answer:  He will still pay the same percentage for the other children. However, now that he has to pay child support for two more, his expenses have increased, so his available income has gone down, which will decrease the income available to apply child support to. There is no such thing as priority among children for child support. »Return to top

Can he be required to pay a portion of the daycare expenses?

Jackie's Question:  I'm currently going through a divorce, but have already been awarded child support.  If my child has to go to daycare, shouldn't my ex have to pay for half of the daycare expenses even though I am receiving child support?

Brette's Answer:  Child care/education costs as well as child medical costs are all a component of child care. You can get a temporary order detailing these expenses, or you can wait and make it part of your final order. These expenses aren't necessarily half and half - it depends on all the circumstances of your situation and what is the most fair. 

Can he be required to pay half of the school tuition?

Trina's Question: My son goes to a private school. Can I have my ex pay 1/2 of tuition in addition to child support?

Brette's Answer:  You can request it as an educational expense.

What does "extraordinary medical expenses" include?

Holly's Question: My ex and I are fighting over medical costs. Our decree states "extraordinary medical expenses not covered by insurance". When our daughter got lice at school I spent almost $100 treating her. Shouldn't he pay his portion on over the counter for things like this? The decree is so vague.

Brette's Answer:  The problem is how your court interprets that clause. Does it mean deductibles and co-pays or things like experimental treatments -- things that get pushed through traditional medical insurance? It's unlikely to mean non-prescription meds, but you can certainly make the argument that this is an extraordinary situation (and personally I would agree with you, but I'm not sure how your court is going to interpret this clause). Good luck.

Is the spouse of a non-custodial parent required to pay support?

Kay's Question: Under what circumstances is the spouse of the non-custodial parent required to pay?

Brette's Answer:  You're not, he is. His household income is calculated when determining child support. That includes income brought in by his spouse. However the order for payment applies only to him. You have no responsibility to his child. »Return to top

Custody Issues and Child Support

Does he have to pay support if we have joint custody?

Elizabeth's Question: Does the man have to pay child support if they have joint custody? If yes why?

Brette's Answer:  It depends on what kind of joint custody you are talking about. Legal custody has to do with decision making authority and has nothing to do with child support. Joint physical custody is actually a vague term and what matters is how time is divided. In most joint physical custody situation, the child's time is divided between the parents in a way that means one parent has more time than the other with the child. Child support is payable. If this is a true 50/50 time share, child support is often still ordered to be paid by the parent with more money to the one with less, but there are certainly cases in which none is ordered.

Can I still get child support if we share custody?

Stephanie's Question: I am seeking primary physical custody of our children, as I have been the primary caretaker of the children since they were born. My husband wants joint custody because he wants to avoid having to pay child support.  Does it work that way?

Brette's Answer:  First of all, you need to understand that child support is almost always payable, even when the parents split their time 50/50. Additionally, most courts do not order a 50/50 split of time because it can be hard for some children and can be logistically difficult.   »Return to top

How does support work if one kid lives with him and two with me?

Jen's Question:  We have three children, and our oldest chooses to stay with his dad. The younger two will be living with me. How does child support work in this situation?

Brette's Answer:  Technically, you would pay him for the one child and he would pay you for the two, but in practicality one is going to be cancelled out so he would owe you for one.

Will he owe support if we each have a child living with us?

Sandra's Question: I am a mother of a 17 year old and a 14 year old. My oldest has moved with her dad two months ago. He is telling me that since one child lives with me and the other lives with him then he owes me no more child support. How true is that? Since my oldest will graduate in a year isn't my ex still required to support my 14 year old?

Brette's Answer:  First of all, if there has been a change in custody, you should have an order reflecting that. Child support is then determined based on income, so it needs to be recalculated. If he earns more than you, he may still owe you child support. Once the child living with him ages out of the child support order, then he would still be responsible for supporting the younger child living with you.

Can the non-custodial parent get child support?

Julie's Question: If father has primary residency and mother has weekend supervised visitation, does he have to pay if the mother files for child support?

Brette's Answer:  Child support is payable to the parent with primary custody, in this case, the father. The mother would not be eligible to receive it.  »Return to top

What happens to support when the child changes residence?

Lauri's Question: My son now age 19, moved in with me this weekend. I pay $700 per month to his father for child support. I'm required to pay until the age of 21, but do I still have to pay now that he lives with me?

Brette's Answer:  No, you should get the order modified to reflect the living arrangements. You can seek to have your child support payments ended and also ask that he pay you child support for your child.

Will I have to pay support if he gets full custody?

Alice's Question:  If my husband filed for full custody of our children, will I have to pay child support?

Brette's Answer:  If he is granted physical residence of the children, then he is eligible to seek child support from you. »Return to top

Will his custody case affect my motion to modify child support?

Randi's Question:  I recently had my ex served with papers for modification of child support. In return, he served me with papers trying to get full custody of our daughter because he doesn't want to pay the child support. He is military and is deployed 1-2 times a year for several months. He already has a preliminary hearing date, but I don't have a date for my case yet. Will any of this affect my child support case?

Brette's Answer:  It's likely the court will postpone the child support case until the custody issue is resolved - although you could ask for a temporary order increasing it while the custody case is pending. It sounds like you've got a good case for custody though, and once you get that taken care of you can move ahead with the child support issue.   »Return to top

Can he get custody changed so that he doesn't have to pay support?

Alison's Question: I have just sought to have Child Support collect the correct maintenance for my son of 15. I have had sole custody of my son since he was 1 and have managed financially ever since (with my ex never paying the correct maintenance). After being contacted by Child Support, my ex said he would leave the country or go for sole custody. He spoke to my son about it and my son does not want to go to court or have his father leave the country. What should I expect?

Brette's Answer:  Your son should not even be involved in this. Your ex was ordered to pay a certain amount. If he doesn't pay, enforcement proceedings will take place. Courts always see through the ruse of someone trying for a change in custody to avoid child support.

Can I ask for a custody change so I don't have to pay support?

Carolyn's Question: My ex and I were separated for 3 years. He is military, and my 2 children live on base with him. I did not take them with me because I could not afford to support them at the time, as well as the fact that I felt that taking them away from their home and friends would be even harder on them. In the decree, we have joint conservatorship, but they live with him. I have been ordered to pay child support, which I cannot afford. Can I modify the order so that the kids live with me and he has to pay child support, or would I be better off trying to get the support lowered. My ex told me that if I would sign over my rights to 1/2 his retirement we could work something agreeable out.

Brette's Answer:  You can seek a change in custody based on a change in circumstances. You will need to show that a change is in the best interests of the children. If you win custody, then child support will be changed. I think that you need to decide if you want your children to live with you. You shouldn't seek custody simply to get out of paying child support. If they live with you, your expenses will increase at least that amount - it's certainly not a savings to get custody.

If you are still married and your divorce is not final, you can work out a deal exchanging an asset for child support -- however a court will never approve an out and out agreement for this. Despite this, people make these kinds of deals all the time when they negotiate settlements. If you are already divorced (you weren't clear about this), there is no way to make this exchange. If you transfer an asset to him it is a taxable event, unless it falls under gift tax.  »Return to top

Will I have to pay support to the custodial grandparent?

Sheila's Question: About 7 years ago I decided to let my son live with his grand parents because I couldn't take care of him. When we went to court, his grandmother was granted sole physical custody. I do get my son every weekend and more in the summer and I also get him the things he needs. Now she is taking me to court for child support. Can she get child support from me? 

Brette's Answer:  Yes, she is entitled to child support since she is the custodial grandparent.  

What if he lied to the child support office to get support changed?

Cheryl's Question: The judge in superior court would not change child support order for father. He went to the local child support and told them he has custody (which he doesn't) and they changed the order. Can they do that?

Brette's Answer:  None of that makes sense since custody is a matter of record - it can be checked. At the very least they should have asked to see the order. You need to contact them and show them the custody order. »Return to top

Paternity and Child Support

Is he required to pay child support if he isn't the natural father?

Mary's Question:  My husband and I have been together for 12 years. My youngest child was six month old when me met, and he has been the only father-figure in her life.  Is he required to pay me child support?

Brette's Answer:  Your husband is only required to pay child support if he legally adopted your child.

What if he signed the birth certificate but isn't the real father?

Korina's Question:  Does a man have to pay child support if he signed the birth certificate.  A DNA test shows that he is not the father. 

Brette's Answer: If there is a DNA test showing he is not the father, it is very unlikely the court will hold he is the father.  If a court rules he is not the father, he has no obligation to pay child support.  »Return to top

Can he refuse to pay support until he gets a DNA test?

Martha's Question: My ex was ordered to pay child support. He hasn't paid yet because he wants a DNA test.  I have tried to set this up three times, and he say that he wants to courts to deal with it. What can I do? 

Brette's Answer:  If you have a child support order, go back to court to enforce it. If he wants a DNA test it's up to him to tell the court that. Until then, he's legally responsible to pay the child support.

He's not the natural father. Will I have to pay back the child support?

Trisha's Question:  I was pregnant with another man's child before my husband and I got married.  Since we've been separated, I applied at the CSEA to receive child support. He is going to contest it.  I am wondering if I will have to pay the support money back to him once it is determined that he is not the father?

Brette's Answer:   It is possible. You should talk to an attorney in your state who can help you with this. One thing to remember is that whoever is the biological father could be ordered to pay you and you could turn this money around to your spouse.  »Return to top

Factors Modifying Child Support

How will if affect support if he declares bankruptcy?

Sarah's Question: If my daughters father were to file bankruptcy and he owes back support, will the bankruptcy wipe out the back support he owes?

Brette's Answer:  No. Child support is not dischargeable in bankruptcy. Good luck.

Why was child support reduced when he lost his job?

Angel's Question: My ex is paying half of the original ordered child support via an amended child support order. I understand the decrease in child support while he is unemployed, but why is that amount forgiven with no back pay. No one is forgiving me my child related bills- it isn't costing me less to raise them. 

Brette's Answer:  If the order was amended, he is only required to pay the ordered amount because that is what is calculated based on his current income. I understand what you are saying about your bills not having decreased, but that's just the way child support works - it is income-based, not expense-based.

Will the support order change if he has another child?

Stephanie's Question:  My husband is paying child support from a previous marriage.  We have a baby on the way, and we are really struggling to make ends meet and pay the ordered support.  Will his child support change once our baby is born?

Brette's Answer:  A new baby is a change of circumstances and a reason for a modification. Good luck.

Can he reduce support if his wife bears a child that isn't his?

Melissa's Question: My ex husband married a women when she was pregnant. He signed the birth certificate when the child was born. He has not legally adopted this child yet. He is taking me back to court to lower his child support payments for our two children because this baby was born. How can I request a paternity test in court for this other kid?  Do I have that right?

Brette's Answer:  In most states the law is that when a man is married to a woman and she gives birth, he is the legal father, unless it is proven otherwise. I'm not sure you would have standing to challenge that presumption in this instance. Even if it is not his biological child, it is his stepchild and is a dependant in his household. You should talk to an attorney who can review your state's laws.

Will I have to pay less child support when I have another baby?

Ginny's Question: I am in a shared custody arrangement--my daughters alternate each week between my home and their fathers'. I am re-married and expecting a new baby. I have been told that I must continue to pay the $700 per month support. I don't feel like I can physically continue working at my strenuous job with a new baby. My attorney told me that the best I could get is a 10% reduction in payment. But what if I just can't do it? Any advice?

Brette's Answer:  You should listen to what your attorney tells you. You can seek a modification once you have an additional dependent and if you have to leave your job to care for the baby, that is another factor the court will consider. »Return to top

How would it affect support if he got a raise and had another child?

Mary's Question: My ex just had a cost of living raise, and he recently filed a modification for child support based upon that he has a new child. Is that any reason to do so even when he owes child support?

Brette's Answer:  The raise and the new child might cancel each other out. If he gets a raise, it increases his income, however having another child increases his expenses.

Should I ask for an increase in child support after all these years?

Michelle's Question: Child support was established in 1996, and I've never went to my social worker to ask for an increase. Should I seek to have the child support increased since it's never changed in 12 years?

Brette's Answer:  You may be entitled to a cost of living increase. Other increases would require that you show a change in circumstances - either decrease in your income or increase in the father's, or change in the child's needs.  »Return to top

Will we have to go to trial if we can't agree to the modification?

Linda's Question: In the divorce decree it says that I will not receive child support until the marital house is sold. That was based on us living together until it sold and sharing the costs for our one child. Well the house didn't sell. I left and filed bankruptcy and he abandoned the marital home. I never received a dime from my ex for any financial support for our son who lives with me full time. I am filing a petition for modification to child support due to these substantial circumstances. I am representing myself. If his lawyer disputes, is the next step trial?

Brette's Answer:  Yes. If a settlement can't be reached, a trial will be scheduled. Most things settle and in this case there's a good chance there will be a settlement since obviously the terms of the decree cannot be carried out. You can also seek a modification to the financial settlement since you're not benefiting from the sale of the house.

Will his remarriage affect the amount of support?

Tahisha's Question: My ex-husband is getting remarried. We have three children (9,8 &3). He has been ordered by the court to pay child support and alimony. Would this change?

Brette's Answer:  Your spouse's remarriage should have no effect on your current situation.  »Return to top

Can child support be based on my new spouse's income?

Jennifer's Question:  After our divorce, my son lived with me for 7 years, and I went for about 16 months with no child support. Two years ago, my son chose to live with his father. My ex is now threatening to enforce that my current husband pay child support based on his salary. Is this possible?

Brette's Answer:  Your current husband has no legal obligation to support your son from a previous marriage. You are the only one who has that legal obligation.  »Return to top

Can child support be stopped at the request of the custodial parent?

Debbie's Question: If there is an active order, can the custodial parent ask to have child support discontinued? 

Brette's Answer:  Call the office of child support enforcement and ask them if you can't afford an attorney. In most states you can opt out of child support with court approval.

Can I cancel the child support if I'm on public assistance?

Nerissa's Question: My husband and I are currently separated.  I applied for public assistance since I am in school and don't work.  He wants me to cancel the child support order, saying that he will give me the money directly.  How would I go about doing this, and will it affect my public assistance?

Brette's Answer:  Generally if you are on public assistance, you cannot usually end child support. You should talk with your caseworker about this.  »Return to top

How is child support affected when the oldest child turns 18?

Amanda's Question: My husband is paying child support for his two children ages 17 & 15. By agreement support will end at age 18. What happens when the oldest reaches 18? Is the current support amount reduced by 50% or is the new amount of support determined by taking his current pay and calculating a new amount for the one child?

Brette's Answer:  You need to consult your state child support guidelines ( http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html ). If for example, your state guidelines are 25% for two children and 17% for one child, your husband's responsibilities will decrease from the current 25% he is paying to the 17% rate for one child.

Child Support Payments

Is he still obligated if the child support orders weren't cancelled?

Sharon's Question: I remarried the father of my daughter. We lived together for only four months and then separated. Will he still be obligated to pay support if the court order was never cancelled?

Brette's Answer:  Unless he seeks to have it modified, it will still be in force.  »Return to top

Is he still liable for child support if he moves out of the country?

Giselle's Question: Can my ex move from the country and not be held responsible for paying child support anymore?

Brette's Answer:  If your ex moves out of the country, he continues to owe child support, however collecting it becomes even more difficult. Good luck.

Where is the money if mom never received the child support?

Luis' Question: My father paid child support for 13 years and my mother never received it. Where is the money? I am 25 now so it's no longer important but my mother just mentioned it to me so I'm interested.

Brette's Answer:  Who did he pay it to? The state child support collection agency? If so, they are probably still holding the funds. »Return to top

Can he reduce child support payments without a court order?

Renee's Question: My ex-husband has lowered his child support on his own without a court order? What are my rights?

Brette's Answer:  He can't do that. File a petition for a violation with the court. You might also consider asking to have support collected by your state agency so you don't have to deal with it.

Can he deduct orthodontic payments from the child support?

Linda's Question: My ex is threatening to with hold/deduct orthodontic treatment payments from the last 4 months he has to pay child support. He has never given me a bill showing the cost of these treatments that have been going on for the last 1 1/2 years. Can he do that?

Brette's Answer:  If you are saying he wants to pay orthodontic bills directly instead of paying you child support, no he has no legal right to do that unless your order permits it. Child support must be paid directly to the other parent. If he is ordered to pay medical costs in addition, those can be paid directly to the provider.  »Return to top

Can he deduct what I owe him from the child support?

Michelle's Question: My ex is claiming I owe him money for credit card charges. He informed me today he is deducting what he says I owe from the child support payment. Can he do that?

Brette's Answer:  No he can't. Child support is not affected by property distributions.

Can child support be paid directly to the kids?

Amanda's Question: My father was kicked out of the house and has to pay $1280 a month for two kids. We are 19 and 18. I am going to college and my brother lives with my dad. I don't see any of the child support money that my mom gets paid and I have to support myself at her house. Can my dad get this changed so the payments go towards me and he does not have to pay my mom for a kid who does not live with her?

Brette's Answer:  No. Child support is paid to the ex-spouse, not to the children.

Can child support be paid directly to a child in college?

Sara's Question: My daughter will be going away to college in the fall. I am currently making child support payments to my ex-husband. Once she leaves for college can I send the payments directly to my daughter instead of her father if he agrees?

Brette's Answer:  Child support is payable to the parent, not the child. If you and your ex come to another agreement, get it in writing. 

Can support be paid to someone else if the child moves out?

Catherine's Question: I'm a 16 year old teen and I will turn 17 in august. I want to move in with my boyfriend who lives with his grandma. If I move in with him does his grandma then get the child support?

Brette's Answer:  No. Only a parent or legal guardian can receive child support. By doing this you are emancipating yourself and child support is no longer available.

How To Collect Child Support

How can I make sure that he pays support every month?

Lupita's Question: I have had to file three show/cause because my ex doesn't pay support. What can I do to make him pay up on time and avoid this torture every month?

Brette's Answer:  Failure to comply is a violation of a court order. You go back to court and ask the judge to enforce the order. You should ask that child support be paid through your state enforcement agency - if there is a problem with payment, they handle that. »Return to top

How can I have support payments taken out of his check?

Louise's Question: My soon-to-be ex has been court ordered to pay $125.00 per week for our son, but only pays what he chooses. How do I get DHS to take the support out of his check?

Brette's Answer:  The court has to order that the payments be garnished. You can ask for this.

What if he never started paying support like ordered?

Levetta's Question: It has been a year since I got divorced. Child support was supposed to start 2 months after the divorce, but I haven't received anything. It been a year, and I don't know who to contact about this. What should I do to get the payments started.

Brette's Answer:  It depends on how the payments were to be made. If they were going to come directly from him to you, then you need to go back to the court that created the order and file papers for a violation or for enforcement of the order. If payments were to be made to your state child support collection agency and the agency was to pay you, you need to talk to the agency.

What can I do if he stops paying support?

Tami's Question: My ex started his own business a year and a half ago, and has since stopped paying child support on a regular basis. He has only had insurance (court ordered) on the kids for a total of about 6 months and currently, they do not have insurance. Is there anything I can do?

Brette's Answer:  What you need to do is work on enforcement. You can file an petition for a violation in your state court that handles child support. You should consider having child support collected by your state child support enforcement agency which will handle future enforcement. »Return to top

Will he get in trouble for not paying child support if I don't enforce it?

Emily's Question: If my Ex husband does not pay child support and I do not go to court to enforce it, will he still get in trouble or can we work it out between ourselves?

Brette's Answer:  You can always withdraw your complaint. However if the state child support agency is involved it is another story.

Will the state make him pay child support?

Mary Ann's Question: My ex husband owes me back child support. My mother in law has pasted away and left him her house. Will the state step in and make him pay the money he owes the children now that he has some resources?

Brette's Answer:  If child support is being collected through the state enforcement agency, they will handle it. If not, you need to file enforcement proceedings.  »Return to top

Will an informal support agreement be enforced by the court?

Allison's Question: I was divorced in California 4 years ago. When that order was filed it stated that support and visitation would be agreed upon between me and my ex. I got him to sign a document stating he would pay a certain amount a month and visitation would be this and that. This document was notarized. He's now behind in payments...will this hold up in court?

Brette's Answer:  An agreement made outside of court is not enforceable in court at all. If you wanted child support in an enforceable way, you needed a court order.

Can he stop paying support because he moved to another state?

Heather's Question:  In our original court papers, my ex got visitation every Wednesday and every other weekend. He has now moved to another state to be with girlfriend and has stopped paying the court ordered support. What should I do?

Brette's Answer:  As far as the child support goes, he has to pay you that whether he exercises his visitation or not, so I would recommend you talk to an attorney about the arrears and getting him to start paying. Good luck!  »Return to top

Can I stop visitation if he doesn't pay his child support?

Laura's Question:  My son is eight years old, and his father has only paid support a total of 6 times in the six years since we split. After I learned that there is an active warrant for his arrest, I stopped visitation. He now claims to be filing contempt of court on me. Am I in the wrong?

Brette's Answer:  Visitation and child support are two separate issues. You cannot withhold visitation because he hasn't paid. Withholding visitation is custodial interference. If there is an arrest warrant out, you can arrange to have him arrested at the court appearance. »Return to top

Back Child Support

How do you seize tax refunds to pay back child support?

Lenore's Question:  How do I go about putting some sort of claim on my ex husband's federal tax return? He is in arrears of over $6,000 and went about 8 months last year with no payment.  Can I do something to put a claim on his tax return?

Brette's Answer:  Contact your state child support enforcement office for help with this.

Where does the money go if a tax refund was seized for support?

Chris's Question: Where and who gets any back child support. I was 8,000.00 behind and they have taken my tax refund for the last two years, but my ex says he hasn't received it.

Brette's Answer:  You need to get in touch with your state child support enforcement agency. They will have records. If your tax refund was taken, it should be applied to your account. If you don't want that to happen again, you need to adjust the amount you're having taken out of your pay.  »Return to top

Can a bank account be seized to pay delinquent child support?

Rachel's Question: My husband is paying support for 2 children from a previous relationship. He recently became unemployed and I am the only one working to support all of us. I have heard that if we don't pay his child support, the IRS could wipe out our joint bank account to keep paying his arrears. Is this true? Can we get his child support obligation reduced based on his unemployment compensation?

Brette's Answer:  He should file for a modification based on the change in employment. The IRS would not take your bank account, but the court could certainly order that those assets be seized. If he fails to pay child support his tax refund can be taken - that's where the IRS comes into play.

Can the child forgive any back child support that is owed?

Jasmine's Question: If a child becomes emancipated (turns 18) and child support is owed in that child's case, is that child able to forgive all or some of the back child support that collected?

Brette's Answer:  No. The child has no legal standing in that lawsuit and is not a party to it. Child support is owed by one parent to another.

Is the child entitled to the back child support that is owed?

Travis' Question: I just turned 18 and my mom has kicked me out of the house. The courts have ordered my dad to pay the back owed child support. Am I entitled to any of it since I'm not living with my mom anymore?

Brette's Answer:  Sorry, no. Retroactive child support is for the past - when you were living at home and being supported by your parents.

Will he still owe back child support if he gets custody?

Erin's Question: Does a father have to pay back child support if he ends up getting custody? If he does get custody, how will that affect the child support order? 

Brette's Answer:  He owes the back child support no matter what. If he gets custody, he can get the current order changed so he is owed support.   

When Child Support Ends

Will child support end when my son turns 18?

Terry's Question:  My son will turn 18 next month. Will I stop receiving child support at that time, even though he is still in high school and living with at home with me? At what point does my ex's obligation end?

Brette's Answer:  Check your court order. In most states child support continues past age 18.   »Return to top

Will child support end if my son drops out of school?

Karen's Question: Does my husband have to pay child support if his son drops out of school?

Brette's Answer:  It depends on whether your son become emancipated (living independently).

Does he have to continue support during college?

Debbie's Question: My daughter is 20, and is late starting college because she had a rare nerve condition. She is beginning school this fall.  We have been separated forever (12 years) but have no legal agreement, but he has been paying up to now. Also, my 18 year old son will going away to the university in September. Does their father have to continue paying child support for them? 

Brette's Answer:  If you have no legal agreement, he's not required to do anything. Why don't you talk with him about your kids' needs and see if you can find a way to together support them and help them obtain educations. »Return to top

Can child support be changed to include college?

Julie's Question: In our divorce agreement it says he is only responsible to pay support until our son is 18. How can I go about getting money from him for college?

Brette's Answer:  File for a modification of support. Good luck.

Can support be reinstated when she returns to college?

Lisa's Question: My daughter had to drop her college classes because she is going to be deployed. Child support enforcement told me she would no longer receive child support because she was not in college, even though it was not by choice. What, if anything, can I do to appeal this if they say she is no longer entitled to child support even when she returns to college?

Brette's Answer:  Usually enlistment in the armed services means the child is emancipated and child support is no longer due.

Does child support end if the child gets pregnant?

Destanie's Question:  Does the father still have to pay child support if the daughter (who is 17) gets pregnant? What about whenever she has the baby?

Brette's Answer:  The answer depends on whether the child has become emancipated. If she still is being supported by her parents, then child support is still paid.   »Return to top

How is support affected when a child moves out on her own?

Jessica's Question: My stepdaughter was recently pregnant at 17 and will be 18 soon. The baby died and now she no longer goes to school. She plans on getting her GED and moving out. Does my husband still have to pay child support if she does this?

Brette's Answer:  Once she is emancipated (living on her own) child support is no longer due. He needs to get the order changed though to reflect that.

Am I entitled to the child support if my Mom died?

Tara's Question: My mother passed away two years ago. She was receiving child support from my father, and had a debit card that the money went onto. After she passed away, the card got shut off. Am I entitled to the child support that was on the card, and until I was 18? I am pretty sure that he owes back child support as well. I'm living on my own in Maine and don't have a job.  I need the money for clothing as well as food. 

Brette's Answer:  Since I'm assuming you are your mom's heir, you should inherit the money, as well as the right to sue for past due back support. If you are not her heir, technically the money belongs to her estate and whoever inherits that, gets the money. If you are under 18, your father still has a duty to support you and I'm assuming custody would have reverted back to him. However, it sounds as though you are emancipated since you're living on your own. In that case, he doesn't have any responsibility to help you financially. Have you thought about trying to talk to him and patch things up? You should get in touch with the Maine social services or department of family and children and ask them if there are any programs which can help you.  »Return to top

How is child support affected when the child becomes emancipated?

Jen's Question:  I'm currently getting child support with arrears included. My youngest daughter was told by her father to get emancipated, and the arrears would go directly to her.  Is this true?

Brette's Answer:  When a child becomes emancipated, no child support is due - to the parent or the child. 

Do I still have to pay support if my child dies?

Daniela's Question: Do I still have to pay child support if my child dies?

Brette's Answer:  No. Child support continues only while the child is alive. »Return to top

Child Support Tax Information

Is the amount of child support affected if we file our taxes jointly?

Chris's Question: My husband and I are separated, and he has been ordered to pay child support. We did try to reconcile last year and he talked me into filing a joint tax return for 2006. Will that effect the child support order?

Brette's Answer:  No. Your child support order is in effect even if you file a joint tax return or temporarily reconcile. »Return to top

Is child support taxable?

Question: Do I need to pay taxes on received child support?

Brette's Answer:  Child support is not taxable income. Alimony, however, is, so be certain about what the payment is for.

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Related Articles:
Child Support
Child Support Payment Options
Child Support and Visitation
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Brette Sember is a former family and matrimonial attorney and mediator, nationally recognized expert, and author of many books including The Divorce Organizer & Planner, No-Fight Divorce, and How To Parent With Your Ex. For more information about Brette, see www.BretteSember.com.

This column provides general information about the various aspects of divorce.  It is not intended to take the place of legal counsel and should not be considered personal legal advice. For specific recommendations concerning your situation, please retain experienced legal counsel.  WomansDivorce.com and Brette Sember disclaim any liability from any claim arising from any information contained in this column. This column is not a substitute for legal advice.

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