Child Support Questions
Answers From The Expert
If you have children, it's likely that you have child
support questions concerning your situation, such as how child support is
calculated, how long it lasts, and if visitation rights and child support are
connected. Since support issues often come up during and after a divorce,
the following questions may help you find answers about your current situation.
The Purpose of Child Support - Find out what child support is supposed to be used for.
Temporary Child Support - Getting support established while the divorce is pending.
Getting Child Support - Find out if you can get child support and what you can do if you don't want to file for it, and more.
Filing for Child Support - Here are some of the things to think about when filing for support and what your options are.
Child Support Hearings - If your initial child support will be contested or later modified, you may be required to go to a child support hearing.
Questions about Child Custody and Support - Will the support obligation change if custody is changed? Also, find out if custodial grandparents or the non-custodial parent are entitled to support.
Questions about joint custody child support - Find out how support will be affected if you and your ex share custody of the children.
Questions about paternity and child support - Will a man have to pay child support if he didn't sign the birth certificate or if a DNA test proves the child isn't his?
How is Child Support Calculated - Read about what factors go into calculating child support.
Medical Expenses and Child Support - Who is responsible for paying for the medical expenses that aren't covered by insurance?
Child Support and Educational Costs - Find out if the costs for primary and secondary schooling can be included in your child support order.
Extraordinary expenses and child support - Discover how expenses not covered by traditional support orders are handled.
Child Support Payments - Find out when child support payments start, if your ex can reduce the payments, and more. Tips For Collecting Child Support - Learn how to insure that support payments are paid as ordered.
Child Support Modification - When can child support be changed and what effect will different factors have.
Remarriage and Child Support - How is child support affected if one of the parents remarries?
When Does Child Support End
- Find out what factors determine when child support will end.
Collecting Back Child Support - If your ex isn't paying according to the support orders, here is what you can do.
The Purpose of Child Support
What is child support supposed to be used for?
Erica's Question: What expenses exactly does child support cover? I believe that child support goes towards a roof over the child's head, clothes on her back, and food in her mouth. Is this wrong, or should the child get the child support from the non-custodial parent? Brette's Answer: Child support is paid to the custodial parent and does not directly go to the child. There are no specifics about what child support covers. The parent who receives it is not accountable for how the money is used. I'm not sure I understand your last question. The non-custodial parent is the one who pays the child support.
What if the support isn't used for the child's needs?
Suzy's Question: The child support money we send is not being spend to meet the child's needs. We already send additional allowance money to her, and we already pay for her health insurance and out of pocket medical expenses, extra curricular and summer camps separately. The child support is $1000/month but her custodial parent claims she needs us to buy her clothes, pay for school expenses, etc. How can we be sure the child's needs are met without going broke? Brette's Answer: I assume your husband is the non-custodial parent in this situation. Child support can be used the parent receiving it in any way. It is meant to increase the household income and does not have to be used directly for items for the child. Unless your child support directs you to pay for anything else, you do not have to. I understand however that it is hard to say no if you believe the child really is in need. The best advice I can give you is to pay the child support and then if you want to spend extra money, do so directly on the child yourself. Take her shopping and buy her clothing to take home. Don't give extra money to the other parent. Good luck.
What can I do if he spends the child support on himself?
Stephanie's Question: I pay support on my son to his father. I just found out from our 17 year old son that his dad spends the money on himself and none of it goes to our son. How do I go about fixing this problem?
Brette's Answer: You can't. Support does not have to be used by the parent for anything in particular. It is meant to improve the general quality of life of the child.
Who is responsible for clothing at their Dad's house?
Diane's Question: The father of my 2 girls pays child support. He tells me it it my responsibility to pay for clothing for them needed at his house. Is this true?
Brette's Answer: Unless your order dictates he is to share costs, it is your responsibility.
Should I ask for child support if he isn't helping with expenses?
Lori's Question: We have been separated for 2 1/2 yrs now. My daughter lives with me and my son lives with his dad. There has been no talk about child support as of yet. I don't have any problem with this arrangement if he stepped up as a father and took proper care of his kids. I seem to be buying my son groceries every week. I spend easily $60 in food just for him. I've tried talking to him, but he gets defensive and isn't willing to have an amicable conversation. Should I be asking him to pay me support?
Brette's Answer: It is much easier to get child support established and paid on a regular basis than to beg the father of your children for help with expenses. You will know how much money you can count on and he can budget to pay for it. It also eliminates any arguments about it.
Does child support cover expenses at the non-custodial parent's house?
Jason's Question: I am the non custodial parent paying child support for a 7 month old. Do I have to buy extra baby formula for my house or should the child support cover those expenses?
Brette's Answer: While this site is generally only for questions from women, I thought your question would be of answer to our readers. Child support is paid to the other parent to assist with the expenses that parent incurs. When your child is with you, you are responsible for the costs of feeding and caring for that child. Some things should travel with the child - clothing, favorite toys, medicine and other essentials. You are responsible for planning for and providing for needs that happen while in your care. Good luck. »Return to top
Getting Child Support
Can I get child support if I'm living with the father?
Ashley's Question: Can I still go for child support if I live with the father of my child?
Brette's Answer: Probably not. Check with an attorney though to
find out what the rules are in your state.
Can I file for child support even if I have other children?
Quinasta's Question: My husband and I have lived apart for 5 years. We both moved on and I couldn't afford a divorce. We have a seven year old who he doesn't want ever see. If I had another child, can I still file child support for his son? Will he be able to get custody if I file? Brette's Answer: Yes, you can still file for child support even if you have other children. Child support and custody are separate issues. To obtain child support, custody has to be determined first. If he wants to ask for custody that would be his opportunity. It's unlikely he would win since he has had no contact with the child, however visitation is a possibility.
Will he have to pay support for my unborn baby?
Donna's Question: What if I already have two children, with another on the way? Will my husband still have to pay child support on the baby that's not born yet?
Brette's Answer: Yes, it doesn't matter when the child is born (before, during or after marriage). If it's his, child support can be ordered. Good luck.
Can I file for child support if we weren't married?
Angel's Question: My husband and I had a ceremony but we were never legally married. After 14 years, I moved out and our 2.5 year old goes back and forth. Do I have any rights in terms of a financial settlement, child support etc...?
Brette's Answer: You are exactly one of the reasons why I wrote my new book, Unmarried with Children (from Adams Media - see www.unmarriedwithchildren.net). Yes you certainly have rights! Child support has nothing to do with marriage. Go to family court and ask for it. The financial settlement part is trickier. You can consider several things - if you can get him to go, a mediator can help you work out how to divide your joint assets. If not, you can go to regular civil court (small claims or a higher court depending on the amount of money) and ask that joint assets be divided. »Return to top
Can I get child support if he didn't adopt my son?
Michelle's Question: I'm currently receiving child support from my ex husband. My new husband and I are now getting divorced. Can I get child support or maintenance from my new husband even if he didn't adopt my son?
Brette's Answer: You can get alimony or maintenance, but not child support if he is not the father.
He's threatened that he won't pay child support if I leave him.
Dee's Question: I would like to pack up and leave my alcoholic and verbally abusive husband. He has threatened that if I leave him he won't pay a dime in child support or spousal support. Can I leave with my daughter and take our things with us, such as computer, furniture, clothes and games and toys (and also take some money from the bank for support)? What should I do? Brette's Answer: You should set up a consultation with an attorney who can go over with you in detail how much child support and spousal support you would be entitled to. Your husband does not get to decide if he will pay it - if the court orders it he will have to pay it. You can take things with you when you leave, as well as a portion of the cash. Check with an attorney to find out how best to do this in your state.
Am I entitled to anything if I'm taking care of my pregnant sister?
Question: I am 24 single living in a 1 bedroom flat. My 14 year old sister is pregnant and has nowhere else to go, so I am now looking after her. Am I entitled to anything? I am not working and have no children myself.
Brette's Answer: Not unless your parents sign over custody of her to you, then you could get child support. Otherwise, she is an emancipated minor. You should contact social services to find out her eligibility for welfare, food stamps, and WIC. She can also obtain child support from the father of her baby once it is born. Good luck.
Can I get child support if it wasn't part of the original divorce?
Amber's Question: My divorce was final two years
ago, and I had primary custody in a 60/40 custody split (we swapped
weeks). After he remarried, my daughter started living with me
full time, with my ex taking her every other weekend. Since I did not seek child support when
my divorce was filed, can I file for an modification and require him
to help support his daughter? Brette's Answer: You can go to family court and request child support. You will
probably need to modify your child custody plan as well to reflect
the current status. Then child support can be based on that. »Return to top
Can he request support if it was waived in the divorce?
Elizabeth's Question: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 10yrs and our 2 children reside with him. It states in our court divorce papers that I shall not be obligated to pay child support for the children in exchange for waiving my interest in the residence (house & land). My ex recently divorced and is now threatening to go back to court to have the papers modified for child support. I've been unemployed for over a year because of complications from surgery and am in the process of filing for disability. What are my rights, as I can no longer work and my husband is supporting us both. Brette's Answer: Unless he can show some change in circumstances that merits any of this, he has no chance. Your financial situation would certain be considered in his request for child support. Good luck.
What if I don't want him to pay child support?
Alexena's Question: My husband has spent sometime in jail and rarely has any money. Can I divorce him and not require child support from him so that I'm free and clear of him?
Brette's Answer: It is possible to opt out of the child support guidelines, but you have to provide reasons for why you are doing so and assure the court that the child will be adequately supported. In most cases, some child support is going to be part of the deal.
How do we do a one-time settlement for child support?
Nicky's Question: My ex and I want to do a 1 time settlement for child support. How do I go about this?
Brette's Answer: You need to see an attorney. Most attorneys recommend against this since needs change and additional child support may need to be sought later.
Is more child support better than getting alimony?
Question: During our separation, my lawyer encouraged me to agree to a higher amount of child support rather than having a separate alimony payment. Now we are considering divorce. I am wondering if it is prudent to keep the same arrangement, or ask for a separate alimony payment. I am worried that my husband will try to get my son to go live with him, as he has tried to do before, and that if he is successful, I will lose it all. What is the best way to approach this situation?
Brette's Answer: There are pros and cons to the many different arrangements. Alimony is taxable. Child support is not. Child support ends when your child ages out or if custody changes. Alimony does not. You can also consider lump sum alimony which is payment up front, or a larger property settlement. »Return to top
Filing For Child Support
Can I file for child support on my own?
Maureen's Question: My soon to be ex-husband and I both signed a divorce settlement and still are waiting for the Judge to sign in 6 months from now. My lawyer never filed for a support order. Can I file child support motions on my own if my attorney doesn't return my phone calls?
Brette's Answer: Yes you can. You don't have to have an attorney. You should, however, let your attorney know so that you're not both doing the same thing.
Can I file for back support if we never had support orders to start with?
Kris' Question: My ex and I split many years ago and the kids have lived with me. We didn't go to have custody and support filed. Is it possible to try for what would be back support now even though it was never legally established? Brette's Answer: To be clear, what you are asking for is called retroactive child support - child support from before the time a child support order was put into place. Back child support would be child support that was owed but never paid (called arrears). Retroactive child support in a case like yours would be unusual. You knew where the other parent was, had contact with him and yet never filed for support. You could however file for child support to start now. You can ask for retroactive child support, but it is a rarity in a situation like this.
Which state child support rules will apply if I move to another state?
Crystal's Question: My husband and I divorced in Maryland. He stopped child support payments when our daughter turned 18 because that is
Maryland law. I live in NY now, and NY state law says that he has to pay child
support until my daughter is 21 as long as she is in school, which she is. I was
told that I would be able to "re-file" for child support in NY and
then it will be granted. Is this true?
Updated Answer: In 2001, the UNIFORM INTERSTATE FAMILY SUPPORT ACT Section 611 was amended make it clear that the duration of the child support obligation should be fixed by the order of the originating state. Amended [section] 611(d) provides that "the law of the state that is determined to have issued the initial controlling order governs the duration of the obligation of support." The amendments to [section] 611 also state that a registering tribunal cannot establish a new support order under its laws after a child has reached the age specified under the duration of support law of the issuing state. It also further provides that "the obligor's fulfillment of the duty of support established by that order precludes imposition of a further obligation of support by a tribunal of this state." Given this information, you won't be able to re-file if the original orders state that child support ended at 18. »Return to top
When serving support papers, are they valid if left at your home?
CC's Question: My ex is trying to serve me with a petition to modify our child support order because I am moving out of state. The day I was moving, he sent a officer to my mothers home and waited to see if I was home. She told the officer I no longer lived there and the officer gave the papers to my mother and said if I do not go to court, I will go to jail. I have yet to be served personally. What can I do concerning this matter?
Brette's Answer: Playing games with service is generally a waste of time. At some point they will find you. Your state may have a provision that allows papers to be left at your home even if you are not there, so the service that occurred might be valid.
Can I withdraw my petition for child support?
Aida's Question: I filed for child support, but now want to call it off. What happens if I don't go to the hearing?
Brette's Answer: You can withdraw your petition for child support. Call the court and find out what their procedure is. If you don't appear at the court appearance your petition will likely be dismissed by the court.
Is the parent still obligated to pay support if the petition is withdrawn?
Jaimie's Question: If a grandmother has initiated a law suit against a daughter for child support in the state of TN and it has gone to trial, can the grandmother later decide to drop the case and relinquish her claim to the child support? Would the daughter then no longer be reliable for the payments?
Brette's Answer: That would be up to the judge, but you could notify the court you wish to withdraw the case. »Return to top
Do I have to file for child support if my child is getting Medicaid?
Mandee's Question: I am not working, but my mother is helping a lot and the father of my child does what he can to help. I do not want to file for child support, but the state is telling me in order for my daughter to get Medicaid, I must put her father on child support. I do not want to do. Is there anyway I can avoid that while still getting her the medical help?
Brette's Answer: No. If you seek public benefits, the state can require you to assist in a child support case.
Child Support Hearings
Should I re-file for child support if he wasn't at the hearing?
Erica's Question: My husband and I are separated and I recently filed for Child Support. Our court date was a month ago and he did not show. The judge said he could not look up his pay grade so I could receive CS because my husband had to be present. So the judge issued a warrant for his arrest. He may never be brought in unless he gets pulled over for a traffic violation. Should I file again?
Brette's Answer: If he doesn't appear, he is in default and you should be able to obtain an order against him, as long as he did actually receive notice of the proceedings. You need to find out if he was legally served. If not, service has to happen. If he was served you need to make a motion for a default judgment.
Should I appear in person instead of doing a phone conference?
Carol's Question: I have filed for child support. The father lives in another state and has to appear before the judge. I was not ordered to be there, but wanted to be to make sure he does not talk his way out of paying child support. I set up a phone conference, so I could speak. My question is should I go there instead of doing a phone conference?
Brette's Answer: A phone conference is probably easier for you. There are some advantages to being there in person, but phone conferences are a good substitute. »Return to top
How can I get a postponement of the support modification hearing?
Miriam's Question: I received a petition for modification of an order of support made by the Family Court. I need to get the date of appearance postponed. How do I go about doing this? Brette's Answer: Call the court and ask for a postponement. Good luck.
Will we have to go to trial if we can't agree to the modification?
Linda's Question: In the divorce decree it says that I will not receive child support until the marital house is sold. That was based on us living together until it sold and sharing the costs for our one child. Well the house didn't sell. I left and filed bankruptcy and he abandoned the marital home. I never received a dime from my ex for any financial support for our son who lives with me full time. I am filing a petition for modification to child support due to these substantial circumstances. I am representing myself. If his lawyer disputes, is the next step trial?
Brette's Answer: Yes. If a settlement can't be reached, a trial will be scheduled. Most things settle and in this case there's a good chance there will be a settlement since obviously the terms of the decree cannot be carried out. You can also seek a modification to the financial settlement since you're not benefiting from the sale of the house.
What if I no longer live in the state where the support hearing will be?
AS's Question: My husband and I divorced 2 years ago and in February of this year, I moved out of state. He wasn't happy about it but didn't try to stop me either. Now my ex is wanting me to go back home for a child support hearing. I never let the court know we moved, but my ex knew and has spoken to kids several times. Am I in trouble and should I move back to ex's state.
Brette's Answer: No. He essentially consented to the move. I suggest you talk to an attorney about having the child support case moved to your new state. »Return to top
Custody Issues and Child Support
How will it affect child support we each have a child living with us?
Jessica's Question: I have two children with court ordered child support from 8 years ago. My ex now wants my 10yr old to move in with him and have primary custody changed over. Our 12 yr old daughter doesn't want to go and will be living with me. How will this affect the child support? He says it's a wash and he doesn't have to pay anymore. Please answer I can't find the answer. Brette's Answer: If one child lives with one parent and the other with the other parent, child support for each will be calculated then offset. Basically whoever earns less or has more allowable expenses will receive a small amount of child support, unless your incomes are very different, then it could be a large amount. You should see an attorney who can help you calculate how it will work in your state.
What are my chances of getting custody if I owe back support?
Crystal's Question: What are my chances of getting custody of my children if I owe a little back support?
Brette's Answer: Support and custody are two separate issues, however that doesn't mean a judge might not have it in the back of his mind. Custody is determined based on the best interests of the children.
Can the non-custodial parent get child support?
Julie's Question: If father has primary residency and mother has weekend supervised visitation, does he have to pay if the mother files for child support?
Brette's Answer: Child support is payable to the parent with primary custody, in this case, the father. The mother would not be eligible to receive it. »Return to top
Will I owe less support if the kids spend more time with me?
M's Question: I was working evenings when we got divorced, and only had two days off. My husband had most of the overnights, so they made me pay child support because of this. My schedule has changed and my kids are with me pretty much all the time, except for weekends. I have 3 days with them, their father has them the other 4. My ex makes more money than me, yet I'm stuck with the child support. I owe backed child support because I can't afford it with my income. What can I do?
Brette's Answer: You could seek to modify the custody arrangement since you have a different schedule and then child support from that point on could be modified.
What happens to support when the child changes residence?
Lauri's Question: My son now age 19, moved in with me this weekend. I pay $700 per month to his father for child support. I'm required to pay until the age of 21, but do I still have to pay now that he lives with me?
Brette's Answer: No, you should get the order modified to reflect the living arrangements. You can
seek to have your child support payments ended and also ask that he pay you child
support for your child. »Return to top
Can support be terminated if our son goes to live with his Dad?
Cheryl's Question: My husband and I have joint legal and physical custody and he pays child support. My youngest child is now 17 and currently living with his dad. He wants to remain there because he has more freedom and material things. He still visits me and stays overnight. My ex is now trying to get the child support terminated since our son lives with him. I never gave permission to break the 50/50 rule but my child is staying there I guess. Does this mean he will win the case and have to stop paying me because he provides most of the support?
Brette's Answer: If your child no longer lives with you, child support can be adjusted to reflect that, and you may have to pay him support.
Does my dad still have to pay support if I live with him?
Alex's Question: I came across this site by google and decided it'd be the best way to ask, as there isn't much information out there! I'm now 15 and had custody recently changed to my father because me and my mom don't get along at all. Does my dad still have to pay support? Also, is there any way to avoid visitation? She was horrible when raising my sister, and my sister had to go through counseling for alcohol abuse. I just really don't want to spend another second here and want out! What can I do?
Brette's Answer: If you're living with your dad, your dad should seek to modify child support so he no longer has to pay it. If you don't want to visit your mom, you're reaching an age where no one is going to force you to go. What would be a really good idea however is for you and your mom to go to counseling together. Maybe she could change the way she behaves and maybe you find a way to have a relationship. Good luck.
Will I have to pay
support if he gets full custody?
Alice's Question: If my husband filed for full
custody of our children, will I have to pay child support? Brette's
Answer: If he is granted physical residence of the
children, then he is eligible to seek child support from you. »Return to top
Can he file for custody because I filed for child support?
Devon's Question: The father of my child has been absent throughout my entire pregnancy and still is now that my daughter is two months old. If I file for child support does that mean he can file to have joint custody? He has many warrants for his arrest his name is being constantly changed and he is fleeing from the law right now. He is not on the birth certificate but I really need help financially. How can I make it so he pays support but has no rights or visitations to my child?
Brette's Answer: He could bring a paternity/custody suit on his own at any time, but if you institute a child support case, he can also ask for custody/visitation. This will be determined based on the best interest of the child. It sounds like he is in a bad situation and no court would give him custody, although somewhere along the line, visitation is possible, but not until he resolves his legal issues and then you would have a strong case for supervised visitation if it is going to be ordered at all.
Will his
custody case affect my motion to modify child support?
Randi's Question: I recently had my ex served with papers
for modification of child support. In return, he served me with papers trying to
get full custody of our daughter because he doesn't want to pay the child
support. He is military and is deployed 1-2 times a year for several months. He already has a
preliminary hearing date, but I don't have a date for my case yet. Will any of
this affect my child support case?
Brette's Answer: It's likely the court will postpone the child
support case until the custody issue is resolved - although you could ask for a
temporary order increasing it while the custody case is pending. It sounds like
you've got a good case for custody though, and once you get that taken care of
you can move ahead with the child support issue. »Return to top
Can he get custody changed so that he doesn't have to pay support?
Alison's Question: I have just sought to have Child Support collect the correct maintenance for my son of 15. I have had sole custody of my son since he was 1 and have managed financially ever since (with my ex never paying the correct maintenance). After being contacted by Child Support, my ex said he would leave the country or go for sole custody. He spoke to my son about it and my son does not want to go to court or have his father leave the country. What should I expect?
Brette's Answer: Your son should not even be involved in this. Your ex was ordered to pay a certain amount. If he doesn't pay, enforcement proceedings will take place. Courts always see through the ruse of someone trying for a change in custody to avoid child support.
Can I ask for a
custody change so I don't have to pay support?
Carolyn's Question: My ex and I were separated for 3 years. He is
military, and my 2 children live on base with him. I did not take them with me
because I could not afford to support them at the time, as well as the fact that
I felt that taking them away from their home and friends would be even harder on
them. In the decree, we have joint conservatorship, but they live with him. I
have been ordered to pay child support, which I cannot afford. Can I modify the
order so that the kids live with me and he has to pay child support, or would I
be better off trying to get the support lowered. My ex told me that if I would
sign over my rights to 1/2 his retirement we could work something agreeable out.
Brette's Answer: You can seek a change in custody based on a
change in circumstances. You will need to show that a change is in the best
interests of the children. If you win custody, then child support will be
changed. I think that you need to decide if you want your children to live with
you. You shouldn't seek custody simply to get out of paying child support. If
they live with you, your expenses will increase at least that amount - it's
certainly not a savings to get custody. If you are still married and your divorce is not final, you can
work out a deal exchanging an asset for child support -- however a
court will never approve an out and out agreement for this. Despite
this, people make these kinds of deals all the time when they
negotiate settlements. If you are already divorced (you weren't
clear about this), there is no way to make this exchange. If you
transfer an asset to him it is a taxable event, unless it falls
under gift tax.
What if he lied to CSE about custody to get support changed?
Cheryl's Question: The judge in superior court would not change child support order for father. He went to the local child support and told them he has custody (which he doesn't) and they changed the order. Can they do that?
Brette's Answer: None of that makes sense since custody is a matter of record - it can be checked. At the very least they should have asked to see the order. You need to contact them and show them the custody order. »Return to top
Do I have to pay support if my ex's wife adopts my child?
Jen's Question: If my ex's spouse adopts my son, do I still have to pay child support?
Brette's Answer: No. If your child is adopted and you are no longer a legal parent, you no longer pay child support. You also give up all rights to having any relationship with your child.
Can a grandparent get child support if they are the major care taker?
Linda's Question: My daughter is getting a divorce. They have agreed each will have the children 2 days and nights a week. I am the grandparent and have watched the children 3 nights a week since they were born. Since I keep them 3 nights a week and drive them to and from school, and feed them am I deserving of child support from the father and or both of them? They both make the same amount of money therefore my daughter is not requesting child support.
Brette's Answer: I'm disturbed by this arrangement since you actually have more time with the children than anyone else. To get support, you would need to first establish what is happening in terms of custody via a custody order that actually gives you some custodial rights.
Will I have to pay support to the custodial grandparent?
Sheila's Question: About 7 years ago I decided to let my son live with his grand parents because I couldn't take care of him. When we went to court, his grandmother was granted sole physical custody. I do get my son every weekend and more in the summer and I also get him the things he needs. Now she is taking me to court for child support. Can she get child support from me? Brette's Answer: Yes, she is entitled to child support since she is the custodial grandparent. »Return to top
How Child Support Is Calculated
What is factored into the child support calculation?
Melissa's Question: When paying child support, do they take into
consideration what money gets paid out in bills before they determine what gets paid in child support? Brette's Answer: There is a formula used to determine child
support. Go to your state court web page and check the family court section for
child support information. You can start by looking up your state divorce
information, and then clicking on the link for child support calculations.
Do we have to follow the child support guidelines?
Vanessa's Question: Is there a limit to how much money they can take from you for child support? My ex has a current support order and I am putting in one for myself. With two support orders, according to the "electronic worksheet", he will have nothing left to live off of after he pays all his child support. Can they really do that?
Brette's Answer: You can choose to opt out of the state guidelines and the court can also deviate from it.
Can we decide on the amount of child support that will be paid?
Terry's Question: My spouse and I are attempting to
do a non-contested divorce online. Can we come up with our own amount of money
for child support on one child. Each of us will have the child for approximately
half of every month.
Brette's Answer: In most states you can go outside
the child support standards if you have a good reason to do so. You may need to
offer an explanation to the court for why you wish to do this, and make it clear
that you both agree to it. Even so, it is up to the judge to decide if your
agreement is acceptable. In practice, most courts are pleased to have parents
who can agree and as long as it seems fair, they are reluctant to make a fuss.
Good luck. »Return to top
Is all income used to calculate child support?
Mary's Question: My ex is working a full time and a part time job. We have not set the final child support amount. Will the courts base the income from both jobs or only one job? Brette's Answer: Child support takes into account all income. Good luck.
Is he obligated to pay child support if he's unemployed?
Elyse's Question: My husband has not worked for the
last 9 months, and things are just about over between us. Would the court
make him get a job to pay child support? He says he wont work so I wont get a dime! Brette's Answer: Your husband is obligated to pay
child support - there is a minimum that must be paid even if a person is
unemployed. In some states child support can be ordered based on what the person would earn if he or she worked minimum wage. Talk to an attorney.
What if he works less to lower the child support?
Camille's Question: My ex husband is considering going back to college, and working as little as possible as a "self employed carpenter". How can I ensure that I get the child support my son deserves? I heard that if a non-custodial parent is underemployed or unemployed, the court may consider earning potential instead of actual income.
Brette's Answer: That is correct. Document what he's earning now if possible.
What if he's lying about his finances to lower child support?
Elyse's Question: What can I do if my ex is hiding
finances and claiming that he is unemployed in order to lower child support payments?
Brette's Answer: You hire an attorney who will
subpoena records and possibly hire an investigator.
What if I can't pay my bills because child support is so high?
Cindy's Question: My son went to live with his dad and has been there for about 1 year. My ex is taking me to court for child support. I pay my sons breakfast and lunch at school, I bought all his school clothes, hunting license etc. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. My ex makes 3x more a month than I do. If I pay the 20% of my income, I will not be able to pay my bills. I want to continue contributing to my son, but I'm not able to pay the 20%. Any suggestions.
Brette's Answer: First of all, I think you ought to add up what you're spending on all these things you're paying for for your son. I think you might find it adds up to or at least equals a big chunk of your ordered child support amount. If you stopped doing all the extras which are not ordered by the court, you might be able to meet your obligation. I understand how you feel though because you're paying things directly and see benefits from it. It is hard to hand money over and trust your ex to take care of it, but you don't want to get into a position where you're in arrears where you could possibly lose your license or have your tax refund taken. If you think your support order is too high, file for a modification. »Return to top
Does a man have to pay child support if he has six children?
April's Question: If a man has more than six children, does he have to pay child support?
Brette's Answer: Yes. He could have 100 children and still have to pay. Maybe what your confusion is here is that most states cap the child support percentage once you get to 5 children.
Will my child support be given priority over the "Other" woman's?
Lori's Question: My husband had an affair and the results were
two children. We have two children of our own who were born first. I stayed with
him till I could no longer tolerate it, and now we are getting a divorce. My
question is, will his child support be readjusted for the two affair children
and my children be given priority? Brette's Answer: He will still pay the same percentage for the
other children. However, now that he has to pay child support for two more, his
expenses have increased, so his available income has gone down, which will
decrease the income available to apply child support to. There is no such thing
as priority among children for child support.
Why will I get less child support than the woman who filed first?
D's Question: I understand you say there is no priority in child support, but why is it that the children from a marriage get less child support than a child from an affair just because they have filed first. If this is the case, then whomever files first gets more support.
Brette's Answer: There isn't priority, but income is reduced when child support is being paid to the first case. So there is less income available when the second case is filed.
Can he be required to pay a portion of the daycare expenses?
Jackie's Question: I'm currently going through a divorce, but
have already been awarded child support. If my child has to go to daycare,
shouldn't my ex have to pay for half of the daycare expenses even though I am
receiving child support? Brette's Answer: Child care/education costs as well as child
medical costs are all a component of child care. You can get a temporary order
detailing these expenses, or you can wait and make it part of your final order.
These expenses aren't necessarily half and half - it depends on all the
circumstances of your situation and what is the most fair. »Return to top
Do I have to pay for daycare while she is with her dad?
Jenn's Question: My Ex has Summer vacation visitation rights for the last two weeks of June and July. Do I have to pay for daycare if he chooses to take her to daycare?
Brette's Answer: It depends. If your child is currently in daycare and goes on a regular basis and you pay the cost of that, you might have to continue to pay it. It really is going to depend on how your order reads and who is responsible for daycare costs in general. To draw an analogy, if your order says you are solely responsible for all medical costs and he has to take her to the Dr while she is with him, you would be responsible for that.
Can he deduct child care from the support if it's not being used?
Melissa's Question: My ex-husband says that he is going to deduct 1/2 of the childcare from my child support check even though I will not be using it. She is in Kindergarten fulltime & I do not need to use the before care & after care program. He states that the court paperwork says that I am responsible for 1/2 of the childcare. Can he do this? Brette's Answer: If there is no child care, he cannot do this. Child care costs only become an issue when there is an actual child care cost.
Can he file for back child care if I was taking care of the kids?
Jazlynn's Question: My ex has put in a motion that I re-pay him a huge lump sum of back child care costs while he was deployed. During this time, I solely provided care for the kids. And even now, he takes a lot of "vacations" and can't have the kids when he's suppose to. Will the courts actually grant him this, even though I took a huge pay cut and was the only one caring for the children?
Brette's Answer: It sounds like you need to get child support modified to reflect the current situation, so you need to file a petition for that.
Can my ex get support lowered if my daughter has a job?
Debra's Question: My daughter has been working since she turned 16 so that she can save money to buy a car and for college. She typically works 30 hours a week and brings home about $1200 a month. My ex-husband has stated that this allows him a reduction of his current child support order. Is this correct?
Brette's Answer: Unless she is emancipated, living independently, no. Good luck. »Return to top
Medical Expenses
What does "extraordinary medical expenses" include?
Holly's Question: My ex and I are fighting over medical costs. Our decree states "extraordinary medical expenses not covered by insurance". When our daughter got lice at school I spent almost $100 treating her. Shouldn't he pay his portion on over the counter for things like this? The decree is so vague.
Brette's Answer: The problem is how your court interprets that clause. Does it mean deductibles and co-pays or things like experimental treatments -- things that get pushed through traditional medical insurance? It's unlikely to mean non-prescription meds, but you can certainly make the argument that this is an extraordinary situation (and personally I would agree with you, but I'm not sure how your court is going to interpret this clause). Good luck. »Return to top
What exactly are uncovered medical expenses?
Kinder's Question: Earlier this week, we had to go to mediation because my ex was trying to lower his child support. When I stated that our son would have health insurance through my husbands company, and then asked about my ex paying half of the monthly premium and co-pays, the mediator said that my ex is not responsible for those, but is only responsible for half of the 'uncover medical expenses'. What exactly are uncovered medical expenses then?
Brette's Answer: This would include co-pays and deductibles and things the insurance does not cover (dental, vision, etc).
Who is responsible for uncovered medical expenses?
Carmela's Question: My husband is responsible for medical insurance on our three kids. He is now saying that I need to pay for half of the bills when they go to the doctors. Is that right if it's not stated on our decree?
Brette's Answer: In most states, if your decree does not state how unpaid medical expenses are paid, you would be responsible. Unless the order specifically says he has to pay it, he is not responsible, unless your state law says otherwise.
Who is required to cover medical expenses if there is no court order?
Shelly's Question: After living with me for the last 13 years, my son has decided to live with his dad. The original child support order required my ex to carry insurance and share 50% of the uninsured expenses. Since the child support order is no longer valid, my ex wants me to pay to have him put on his policy? Who is required to cover medical expenses if there is no court order? Brette's Answer: You're not required to do anything unless ordered to by the court. My guess is though that if you go to court, you'll be ordered to pay support and provide insurance.
Are extraordinary medical expenses separate from child support?
Annette's Question: Along the lines of extraordinary medical expenses not covered by insurance. Does this cover deductibles, dental bills etc.? I have a court order that states he pays half of all medical and dental expenses and if he fails to pay, he may be forced to pay all of them. My ex is now refusing to pay any medical or dental expenses for his children stating his lawyer advised him it is "included" in his child support payment. Is this true or are the extraordinary medical and dental expenses a separate expense/payment?
Brette's Answer: If the order says he pays half of all medical/dental then that's exactly what that means. It is separate from child support payments. »Return to top
Do I have to notify him of medical expenses within 30 days?
Angie's Question: My decree states my ex is responsible for 1/2 our daughter's medical co-pays, prescriptions, and deductibles. He is saying there is a 30/30 rule and if I do not notify him within 30days of the doctor's visit, he no longer has to pay. I live in Nevada, as does he. Is this true?
Brette's Answer: I don't know if your state has a specific rule about this - you should contact a local attorney. I would say 30 days would be a reasonable amount of time to notify someone of this though.
How long should I wait for him to pay the extra medical expenses?
Georgiana's Question: I am to pay all the children's medical bills throughout the year. At the beginning of the next year I give my ex a bill and he is to pay 70% with the exception of the first $250.00. How long after I give him the bill does he have to pay this? The amount is $5000.00 he owes me and it's been three months.
Brette's Answer: If the order doesn't specify, I would assume a "reasonable" amount of time would be the standard. Since it's late March and you're asking this question, I'm assuming he hasn't paid you for last year. I don't think 3 months is a reasonable period of time so you could file a petition or motion with the court for enforcement/violation to get your money.
Is he liable for 1/2 the medical expenses for our pregnant daughter?
Regina's Question: If a minor child becomes pregnant when living with the custodial mother, is the non custodial father liable for 1/2 of medical on the minor child relating to the pregnancy?
Brette's Answer: Yes, if he is court ordered to pay the medical expenses.
Is he required to pay for half her braces?
Kristy's Question: My husband's child support states the he is to pay half of what insurance doesn't pay. However, if it is for braces, don't you have to come to a mutual agreement to set up payment plans with the orthodontist? And what happens if she already made the agreement without discussing it with him, and he doesn't have the ability to pay it?
Brette's Answer: If the child support order says he has to pay half, then he has to pay half of the uncovered amount of the braces. He owes the money to his ex wife, not the orthodontist. If she sets up a payment plan, I would imagine a court would say he has to pay her the amount due each month. If it's simpler, he can certainly pay the orthodontist directly. If he wants to be the one to negotiate the payment schedule with the orthodontist, then he's going to have to be the one who signs it and is responsible to the orthodontist.
Can he deduct orthodontic payments from the child support?
Linda's Question: My ex is threatening to with hold/deduct orthodontic treatment payments from the last 4 months he has to pay child support. He has never given me a bill showing the cost of these treatments that have been going on for the last 1 1/2 years. Can he do that? Brette's Answer: If you are saying he wants to pay orthodontic bills directly instead of paying you child support, no he has no legal right to do that unless your order permits it. Child support must be paid directly to the other parent. If he is ordered to pay medical costs in addition, those can be paid directly to the provider.
Can he deduct health insurance premiums from the child support?
Jennifer's Question: My divorce was final a year ago. He gets mad every time he has to pay child support because its less money for him. He thinks he can deduct the amount he pays in insurance from the child support if he gets coverage for her. Can he? And also, the only thing that would be questionable in my situation would be when she's with him I like to go out some times. The judge stated if we decided to go out, to just make sure we had a babysitter. Will this be enough for him to take her from me? He doesn't see her as often as he acts like he wants to because he was unemployed a couple weeks ago. Wouldn't the judge be able to see what he is trying to do to avoid having to pay child support?
Brette's Answer: If he obtains insurance for your child it does not reduce the amount of child support. If you go out when she is with him and do nothing illegal or dangerous, it shouldn't impact custody. Unemployment would affect his child support payments since his income has changed. »Return to top
Educational Costs and Child Support
Can he be required to pay half of the school tuition?
Trina's Question: My son goes to a private school. Can I have my ex pay 1/2 of tuition in addition to child support? Brette's Answer: You can request it as an educational expense.
Is the cost of the Driver's Ed class covered by child support
Laura's Question: My ex provides child support each week and has for the past 10 years. Our oldest daughter needs to go through a $600 driver's education course to get her license. I believe, since this expense is outside the normal care costs, should be split between us. He feels his child support payments cover it. Who is right? Brette's Answer: If your order says you are to share educational costs this would be covered under that. If it doesn't, then it is outside of the order. You could seek to have the order modified. Good luck.
Should I include a provision for college expenses?
Kara's Question: I was told by many people to never forget to ask about "college" and/or Future Education costs for the future for our daughter who is now 4yrs old. I know its a LONG ways away, but why would I want to have to open up this case again just to get some money out of him in the future? My lawyer says that this thinking is VERY PREMATURE and I shouldn't even be thinking about that. Brette's Answer: As for college, it is difficult to predict what your financial situations are going to be 14 years from now. You can insert a provision saying college costs will be shared and determined at a later date. If your daughter ends up going to Harvard, you don't want to commit today to paying 50% of that b/c it's unlikely you could afford it. But if she goes to a community college, it would be very doable for you to contribute. »Return to top
Extraordinary expenses and child support
Does paying support release him from paying for other expenses?
Janine's Question: If my ex pays child support, does it dismiss his responsibility to contribute 1/2 the cost for "extra" big ticket items such as: first car, driver's training, band camp, etc.? I am on public assistance, but my ex refuses to help with the expenses of these larger items. He sites his monthly child support payments for his reason to be excluded from these expenses. Brette's Answer: It depends on what the child support order says. Sometimes additional expenses are shared by the parents. Other times the set child support amount is all that is due. If your order does not specify, you can file for a modification to include these items.
Shouldn't the extraordinary expenses be split between the parents?
Julie's Question: My fiance pays more than twice the standard support because the mom stated the children required additional money, and she was the one who they spend most of their time with. In the decree it states "this Court must state findings in support of a deviation from the presumed guidelines the Court finds that the physical, medical, educational and extracurricular needs and activities of the children require additional expenses incurred by the Plaintiff". Their daughter participates in high school rodeos, which the mother refuses to pay anything towards. My finace ends up spending an additional $300 - $500 a weekend for rodeo expenses. Shouldn't some of this expense be included under "extracurricular needs"?
Brette's Answer: Yes, I agree with you.
Can support be adjusted to cover extracurricular activities?
Rachel's Question: My work hours were recently reduced and I'm making 20% less salary. I want to bring my ex back to court for the children's extra curricular activities (dance, cheerleading, little league, etc). My ex is claiming he can not afford the extra's. Do I have a case?
Brette's Answer: You can definitely ask. The court will consider both financial pictures and adjust child support accordingly.
What can I do if he won't pay his 50% of the extraordinary expenses?
Kathy's Question: Our divorce papers say he is liable for 50% of all extraordinary expenses. We've been divorced over 18 months and he hasn't paid a dime. I send him monthly invoices to show where the money goes - sports, school supplies, etc. How do I collect on that?
Brette's Answer: File with the court for enforcement/violation.
Is a child's car insurance included in child support?
Mary Anne's Question: Is a child's car insurance included in child support? My ex refuses to help pay for her insurance because he says it is included in child support. She needs the car to drive to college. Brette's Answer: He would not be required to pay for this unless the court order specified so. You can seek to modify to include it. »Return to top
Remarriage and Child Support
Will his new marriage affect the amount of support?
Tahisha's Question: My ex-husband is getting remarried. We have three children (9,8 &3). He has been ordered by
the court to pay child support and alimony. Would this change? Brette's
Answer: Your spouse's remarriage should have no effect on
your current situation.
Will I still have to pay child support if he remarries?
Ashley's Question: How does re-marriage effect child support? For instance, I pay child support and my ex gets married to another person, am I still obligated to pay child support since I am single and only have one income as opposed to my ex being married and having essentially two incomes?
Brette's Answer: Child support can be readjusted due to a change in household income, but it likely won't be eliminated.
Will my remarriage be a qualifying event to modify child support?
Ashley's Question: Can my ex use my marriage to another man as a qualifying event to modify child support?
Brette's Answer: Yes, because your household income has changed.
Can child support
be based on my new spouse's income?
Jennifer's Question: After our divorce,
my son lived with me for 7 years, and I went for about 16 months
with no child support. Two years ago, my son chose to live with his
father. My ex is now threatening to enforce that my current
husband pay child support based on his salary. Is this possible?
Brette's Answer: Your current husband
has no legal obligation to support your son from a previous
marriage. You are the only one who has that legal obligation. »Return to top
Is the spouse of a non-custodial parent required to pay support?
Kay's Question: Under what circumstances is the spouse of the
non-custodial parent required to pay? Brette's Answer: The parent of the children is the one who is legally liable to pay the support. His household income is
calculated when determining child support. That may include income brought in by
his spouse. However the order for payment applies only to him. You have no
responsibility to his child. »Return to top
Stopping Child Support
Can child support be stopped at the request of the custodial parent?
Debbie's Question: If there is an active order, can
the custodial parent ask to have child support discontinued? Brette's Answer: Call the office of child support
enforcement and ask them if you can't afford an attorney. In most states you can
opt out of child support with court approval.
Can I cancel the child support if I'm on public assistance?
Nerissa's Question: My husband and I are
currently separated. I applied for public assistance since I
am in school and don't work. He wants me to cancel the child
support order, saying that he will give me the money directly. How would I go about doing this, and will it affect my public assistance? Brette's Answer: Generally if you are on public
assistance, you cannot usually end child support. You should talk with your
caseworker about this.
Can he stop paying child support without going to court?
Susan's Question: Can my ex husband stop paying his child support if he takes a leave of absence from his job without having the court modify it?
Brette's Answer: No. Child support is payable unless and until the court modifies it.
Can he stop support if she lives with him during the school year?
Dawn's Question: My daughter wants to go live with her dad for one school year and then come back. In the divorce I was awarded custody and do receive support from him. Could he stop paying support while she lives with him during that temporary time? Brette's Answer: Yes he could seek a modification.
Is he still obligated if the child support orders weren't cancelled?
Sharon's Question: I remarried the father of my daughter. We
lived together for only four months and then separated. Will he still be
obligated to pay support if the court order was never cancelled? Brette's Answer: Unless he seeks to have it modified, it will
still be in force. » Return to top
Child Support Payments
When does child support start?
Cheryl's Question: If a non-custodial parent has to go to court
for his preliminary hearing on child support, will he have to make a child support payment then? Brette's Answer: No child support is due until an order is
entered. It then generally becomes due the next week or next month (depending on
whether it is being paid weekly or monthly).
Should I take my ex to court if payments started a month late?
Jeanne's Question: My settlement papers in an uncontested divorce stated that child support would begin on the 1st of the month (no specific month was stated). My lawyer says that since these papers were signed in Feb., child support should begin as of March. My divorce was not final until April. I was never able to collect the child support for March. Do I have a case? My lawyer tells me just to forget about it.
Brette's Answer: The amount you would spend paying your lawyer to litigate that would probably exceed the amount you are owed.
Can support be enforced for the time before the divorce is finalized?
Shirley's Question: If a divorce is not final until a judge signs off on it (technically still married until then), can child support be enforced for the time period before it is finalized?
Brette's Answer: Generally a temporary order is entered into during the case. If not, then child support is not payable until the order is issued.
Where is the money if mom never received the child support?
Luis' Question: My father paid child support for 13 years and my mother never received it. Where is the money? I am 25 now so it's no longer important but my mother just mentioned it to me so I'm interested.
Brette's Answer: Who did he pay it to? The state child support collection agency? If so, they are probably still holding the funds. »Return to top
Can he reduce child support payments without a court order?
Renee's Question: My ex-husband has lowered his child support on his own without a court order? What are my rights?
Brette's Answer: He can't do that. File a petition for a violation with the court. You might also consider asking to have support collected by your state agency so you don't have to deal with it.
Can he deduct what I owe him from the child support?
Michelle's Question: My ex is claiming I owe him money for credit card charges. He informed me today he is deducting what he says I owe from the child support payment. Can he do that?
Brette's Answer: No he can't. He is required to pay the full amount of child support to you. Child support is not affected by property distributions.
How can I pay my back child support before my court date?
Kristen's Question: How do I go about paying my back child support before my court date, that way I won't have to go?
Brette's Answer: You either pay your ex or the state collection agency, depending on who you were ordered to pay.
Is he still liable for child support if he moves out of the country?
Giselle's Question: Can my ex move from the country and not be held responsible for paying child support anymore?
Brette's Answer: If your ex moves out of the country, he continues to owe child support, however collecting it becomes even more difficult. Good luck. Does he still owe child support if my 15 year old refuses visitation?
Jennifer's Question: If a 15 year old does not want to visit her father any longer, will he still have to pay child support?
Brette's Answer: Yes. Child support and visitation are completely separate. Good luck.
Is child support supposed to come to me if I don't live with my mom?
Heather's Question: I'm 17 and my father pays child support to my mother, but I don't live with her anymore. Is the child support supposed to come to me? Brette's Answer: No. If you live independently you are emancipated and child support ends. » Return to top
Can child support be paid directly to the child?
Danielle's Question: My son will be 18 on April 28th. Currently the child support payment is a direct deposit managed by DSHS. The child support obligation is through June 21, when my son graduates per the divorce agreement. My ex is telling my son that when he turns 18 he is going to pay him directly. Is that possible and if so, what can be done to prevent that?
Brette's Answer: No, he can't do that. If he does, you can file a violation/enforcement procedure. Child support is payable to the other parent, not to the child. Good luck.
Can child support be paid directly to a child in college?
Sara's Question: My daughter will be going away to college in the fall. I am currently making child support payments to my ex-husband. Once she leaves for college can I send the payments directly to my daughter instead of her father if he agrees?
Brette's Answer: Child support is payable to the parent, not the child. If you and your ex come to another agreement, get it in writing. » Return to top
Can a child petition to enforce the support agreement?
Elyse's Question: My Mom and Dad have been divorced for about 7 years now. In their agreement it states he must pay for 8 semesters of school for my sister and I. He has only paid a small amount because he gets angry at me and feels like I'm not worth paying since I can not attend full time. He has also stopped paying for my sister now and we have decided we'd like to take him to court. How should we go about this?
Brette's Answer: Your mother has to be the one to enforce the order. She can file a violation/enforcement petition. Good luck.
Will I still receive support if my son is with friends over the summer?
Sharon's Question: My son is 17 and he is going to stay with his girlfriend for the summer and visit with her. Will I still receive child support from my ex while he is up there?
Brette's Answer: Yes. Child support does not change based on where the child is on a temporary basis.
Is child support owed during summer vacation?
Janet's Question: What happens if the kids live with him and I will have them for a month this summer. Can I keep child support for that month since they will be with me and I will have to pay child care, food, etc.?
Brette's Answer: Child support is due whether the kids are with you or not.
Can support be paid to someone else if the child moves out?
Catherine's Question: I'm a 16 year old teen and I will turn 17 in august. I want to move in with my boyfriend who lives with his grandma. If I move in with him does his grandma then get the child support?
Brette's Answer: No. Only a parent or legal guardian can receive child support. By doing this you are emancipating yourself and child support is no longer available.
Child Support Tax Information
Child Support Tax Information
Can my ex withhold child support funds to pay past due taxes?
Susan's Question: Can my ex withhold and use child support funds to pay past due taxes on the marital home? I
live in and own the marital home as ordered in the divorce. He is
still on the mortgage. The property taxes are paid to the town not
the mortgage company. I have fallen behind on the taxes and he has
been withholding my child support and forwarding it to the town for
tax payments. Can he do this?
Brette's Answer: No. Child support is payable only to you (or the state child support collection agency). You can have the court enforce the order.
Is the amount of child support affected if we file our taxes jointly?
Chris's Question: My husband and I are separated,
and he has been ordered to pay child support. We did try to reconcile last year
and he talked me into filing a joint tax return for 2006. Will that effect the
child support order?
Brette's Answer: No. Your child support order is in
effect even if you file a joint tax return or temporarily reconcile. » Return to top
Is child support taxable?
Question: Do I need to pay taxes on received child support?
Brette's Answer: Child support is not taxable income. Alimony, however, is, so be certain about what the payment is for.
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Related Articles:
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Child Support and Visitation
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